Just when I think I know more...............

I realize that either......

1. The information has changed
2. The situation has changed
3. I am no longer interested in the situation
4. I don't remember the situation or that I ever had an interest in one or.......



Perhaps I should have left a trail of bread crumbs down this path. I am reflecting on the past few (24) months of work. In a huge, enormous, gargantuan organization every change is met with one of two basic responses. Both come with a need to defend their position and it is here I often find my eyes glazing over. I already know who is in and who is not. I also already know how each one navigates life at work. I am often not surprised. That's okay, as I continue to move forward in any case. I am vested in the goals I have been given. I will move my team with or without tantrums and tissue.

Every once in awhile I allow myself to pretend my life has calmed down, fallen into place or that I have moved on only to discover that I am really standing on a pink colored square with a gum drop in the middle all in the real life game of Candy Land! Then I realize I have to draw a card to see how many squares I am moving next? Not only was that an incredibly long sentence it is the reality of what happens when we take for granted that we are not in control of the calendar of life. I expect at anytime I will complete the rainbow colored journey down this candy laden sidewalk and jump onto the next board game. I HOPE it is not Chutes and Ladders as I am proficient at slides!!

I like it, build and design. I think it is what keeps me on my toes though. Like a soldier or girl scout, I have to be prepared for what is next, learn what the new rules will be and let go of the old rules. I have to be prepared for the next project, the next crisis, the next set of tires for the car. And there it is, the conundrum I face daily as I try to mentor or direct others in the Game of Change. Hmmmm that could be a great game. They are not all soldiers or girl scouts!! History can be our best or worst friend when it comes to change. We learn from it or get stuck in it. Some people wear it like a yolk and it becomes a heavy burden for them, preventing them from making any advances unless they are hooked up to a full team of oxen and dragged across the time space continuum. They are never letting go, ever, no! Others see it as an adventure, energized by something new and bored if it doesn't happen often or fast enough. They can go with the flow, Se la vie. They want to go, go, go. Getting them to wait for the others is like an aerobic strength training program.

But those same qualities, as diverse as they are, can present quite different strengths/weaknesses in other situations. Relationships for example. You want the tenacious, committed, made a promise, keeping a promise kind of spouse. It would take a team of oxen to get them to say the word 'leave' or to give up. While that adventurous and bored critter, you know A.D.D. dude will have an impossible time finding peace in a committed relationship. They will always be looking for the greener grass, someone to satisfy their needs, someone to make them feel something new or different, as opposed to them doing for others. These are true whether it is a romantic or platonic relationships. These characteristics tend to be true in the relationships no matter where they exist.

So how do you balance the good and the bad side of mankind? Thank GOD there is a great instruction manual. It has great examples of the ideal person; aggressive, tenacious, committed, steadfast in any situation. They were in debt, distress, unhappy with current situations BUT they were willing and able to take giant steps, make quick changes for any situation while remaining faithful, to the death! Their promise was their bond. Their flexibility let them face any situation, whether that meant prison, a lion or 600 soldiers. They didn't even complain, they looked it in the face (or tail in the case of the lion) and said 'charge'! The end. No whining, no backing out, no gossip or looking for another card deeper in the game deck. No waiting for everyone to take care of them, fix their food, decorate their village. They could handle going backwards a couple steps or forward a dozen. That is the ideal mindset for the ideal employee, friend, mate.

Needless to say, I have to play a few board games to get them to grow. Trust is key to get to the next step. Once they trust a leader or spouse then they can move forward even without all the details, without all the facts, without all the gain reports. They can just move and take the next step.....as it comes. And eventually they can learn to see the steps as opportunity rather than opposition, the command as fortune rather than oppression. That is what the brave examples demonstrated. They did not have all the facts, they did not have the reward info, they did not have all the preferred tools in their favorite colors, they did not even know for sure the what or why. BUT they did it, and were rewarded, and they made a positive difference for their community. It was not about I but about all! My plan for next week:

1. Lose list of complaints
2. Glance on each of them as if for the first time
3. Smile as I anticipate growth Sigh with contentment even for the slightest
change
4. Do it again every day

I am so Excited...................

........he said as he ran, sprinted actually, past me to the bus. First day of school, senior year, 12th grade. "I get to see my friends, and go to program and be with my brothers Isaiah and Kaleb. I can't wait!" He spoke at the speed of light but fortunately his father and I are used to speed hearing. We smiled, waived until the bus was out of site and went back inside the house. I love that he loves school, and has friends. I love that he loves his teachers. And they love him! Great stuff. It seems like a million years ago that he started pre-school at the Foundation for Blind Children. A small, reluctant........better 'resistant' student. He liked everything about school then ......except noise, people, therapy, activities and staying awake. Then he entered public school.

This was an enormous stretch for us after they booted us from the foundation. Well, booted is strong, forced departure seem too strong? Ok, there are rules, he was five, but really, would one year hurt? What I am implying is we had to leave and we did not want to. It took us two years to learn to trust the strangers who had charge of our son. And now that we did trust FBC we had to start all over. And instead of 100 students there were 800. And there were bigger kids, and stereos, and truants. UGH! We were fairly excited once we went through the process. And it is quite a process when you have a special child......not that they are not all special, but one that needs a bit more. There is the testing where they determine what the IQ is and they sit in a circle to tell you what all is wrong with your child. I was devastated that first meeting. I was told my son was slightly more intelligent than a stone, had sub-performance in 100% of the assessments and he might benefit from medications. I am serious, this was the summary with smiles and happy tones from all. Did I say I screamed? Hmmmm, I know I wanted to. Oh wait, it was silent in the room, tears in the car and anger when I got home. Then it was OK. You see I knew he was able to much more than he did that day, he simply did not want to do it for THEM. And I knew he did not need any medication, but I could make recommendations for medication and social skills training for THEM. We finally got to meet the teachers. They seemed good. The class we wanted him in turned out to be the wrong place. NOTE TO SELF: Make sure the 'special ed' teacher really wants to work with developmentally disabled children, not just slow readers. By the end of week two of school, ten straight days of crying (both of us), we called a meeting and moved him to a different class. Wonderful choice.

Not only did he do better in the second class but he made friends that he still has today. He is still in school and activities with several of them. This was a great boon as when he moved up to the next grades and then to a second school, familiar people ........."friends" were with him. His extended family stayed with him. Then there came high school "You have got to be kidding me!" I said as they told me there would be 2000 students more or less. No. That is not going to happen. Hmmmmmmm. I didn't really care who had gone there before, not my boy. Faste Forward Three Years! .......Well, here it is. A senior, 12th grade, graduating with a world looming that is bigger than 2000. Questions from the freaked out mom include; Can God really keep an eye on him in the world? Will God still be able to bring the right people to care for him? Will God protect him and be there always? Is there really enough Xanax to keep me calm for the next 20 to 30 years?

We have been blessed with wonderful friends, a supportive community and great memories. As he turns 17, starts the last leg of high school we celebrated the joy that is Cody.