The End or the Beginning?

This is always a deep, reflective time for me. You know it well if you have been in a family. It can be a shout for joy or a moment of deep sadness. It is the end of the year........the school year. It may sound a bit melodramatic, but it is an actual phenomena I think every parent, or at least mother, experiences. The absolute joy and excitement of seeing your child grow up happy and successful. All this positive emotion while simultaneously experiencing the sorrow or grieving of the end of that time when you could hold them in your hand, constantly able to control  their steps and protect them. When I look at the bearded face of my 5'7" son I see the bouncy little boy who jumps on the bed singing to Barney or the Wiggles or Veggietales. Time has flown by as it seems that.......

Just yesterday he was in a little car seat that I could sling over my arm and take anywhere.

Just yesterday he was learning to sit up and read his Dr. Seuss books.

Just yesterday he was sporting his first pair of glasses.

Just yesterday he was starting kindergarten with a backpack just half his size.

Just yesterday he was getting to know his new friends.

Just yesterday he completed his first special olympics.

Just yesterday he recorded It's Okay To Be Different which has been viewed around the globe.

Just yesterday he announced he had a girlfriend.

Just yesterday he told me I am the best mom ever.

Just yesterday he told me only 4 days of 10th grade left.

Just yesterday I brought him home and never wanted to put him down.

Just yesterday..................

Mother's Day

What is it about this day that brings a flood of emotion? For me it is inspiration. Oh sure, I am a mother. I do not always feel like a great mother however. I see all of my faults, those others see and those that happen when no grown ups are around. You know what I am talking about. As one of my friends wrote, she was not earning any mommy points with the children. Yeah, well, when they are 30 or 40 something and staring into the eyes of those defiant yet extremely lovable children of their own, the light bulb will illuminate and they will quickly run to the phone and call you. They will "understand!" Sigh, that will be a beautiful day.

In the meantime, you know very little, if anything at all. You are NOT doing "it" right and you really should read a book or do it like so and so. :-) I love friendly advise whether from your grandmother or your grandson. Someone will tell you the best way to get it done! "When I was raising three children, I had no electricity and children never spoke unless spoken too and there were oranges for Christmas"...or ...."Johnny's mom lets him have an iPad and he doesn't even have to do chores!" Yikes!!

In a perfect world, that would be heaven, children will always obey, unconditionally love those around them, and would find joy in even the simplest opportunity. In this world, we will have the great responsibility to demonstrate the qualities we aspire to ourselves; honesty, integrity, service, compassion, passion and unconditional love. We will find joy in every tiny reflection of these things in our kids and hope that as they grow not only will they be hardwired traits but that they will actually pass them on to those they touch.

 

You will quickly recognize these moments. They will come from observation. And even better, they will be reported in conversation. You will not only SEE them becoming wonderful adults who can influence the world, but you will HEAR about it from those who experience it in our absence. It is then that we can know that we are doing "it" right. No matter how hard it seems, we are making the right choices, we are making an impact, we are "making" wonderful grown up human beings.

So for today, world wide, cards,letters, emails and yes even phone calls are flying around the globe to say "Thank You" for being a great mom. You have accomplished much, you have paid a great price and you are being reminded today that it was worth it all!

Happy Mothers Day!!!

It is 3 a.m.........why?

So when you are up in the middle of the night with nothing but silence and the dark to surround you, the hum of electricity and cyberspace calls you. Your mind is moving at lightening speed and you are fairly certain that you can end hunger and solve global warming while bringing world peace. OK, I know that sounds extreme but if everyone would just listen to me it would be a done deal.

But no, so it is you who will be stuck reading my babbling blog today. It has been the most interesting year so far. I know that bits and pieces sneak out from time to time but a few highlights are entertaining me lately.

My dad. He has fallen many times the last time fracturing his hip. We did not know it as he had no evidence of pain. We found it while they were checking to see the state of his prostate cancer. He has had physical therapy, though he is still waiting for them to come:-) And he asked me yesterday how he was doing and if he had recovered fully from his stroke. I smiled at him knowing that he doesn't remember details and that he will not remember my answer long, but for the moment he would be engaged waiting to hear. I told him the really good news is he has not had another stroke so I think that means he is doing much better but that he has some memory problems so there was still some work to be done. He was very satisfied with that answer and was wondering if they would be doing any therapy. I reviewed all of the activities he does and then he remembered they were doing therapy. And of course as I got ready to go he asked me if he had recovered fully from his stroke completely.......Oh Papa Bear!


My mom. The transition was difficult to assisted living, losing her driving privileges at the same time, realizing she has some memory and processing problems, and the kicker being that she was not able to take care of herself anymore. It was turbulent, that is a nice word. But mid January she turned a corner and over the last few weeks has been enrolled in a small group at the assisted living that does a variety of activities together to help hold on to that which so quickly seems to be slipping........ I was going to say "her mind", then laugh. Knowing you can't hear my giggle I will submit to the kinder term, "her memory". Either way, she is enjoying her new "lifestyle rhythm" and is making friends. She has renewed her love of BINGO and has won a few prizes. One being a leather fanny pack which she was not sure what to do with. So I said well it wit seemed obvious that she should give it to me...and she did! That has come in so handy!! Still things are changing such has the inability to read a calendar, add and tell time. Through it all it has been a great peace of mind to know that they both have 24 hour observation and help.

My husband. Finally have a diagnosis of 20+ year problem. Check. Gallbladder out. Check. Digestive track repair. Pending. Big Big Decision. He has some good days and some less than good days. He does not complain. He is quiet. For his distraction and mental well being he remains very driven and focused at work building a mammoth train to encircle the children's ministry at our church.......from scratch........that must hang from the rafters........did I say from scratch?! It will be perfect, because that is what he does. Perfect. Give him a job and it will be done right. No detail missed. Can not wait to see it. Unlike Gurney Mills outside of Chicago that will not let you photograph their suspended track, made me put my camera away....boooo....hisss....I am going to take a zillion pictures and post them here so get ready! And for exercise he golfs. The fresh air and quiet is excellent for him. He has declared "It is all good".

My son. 2 weeks left of his sophomore year! That is not right. Well at least for me. I miss my baby boy. He has turned into quite the man though. And he has friends, lots of friends. We have had the pleasure and privilege to be at some activities where we have sat back and watched him interact. He went to the Best Buddy ice cream social. When he arrives there is a loud "Cody" rather reminiscent of "Norm" from Cheers. He goes around to every single person, calls them by name, does some sort of hug or male ritual greeting before he sits. Amazing. He cheered and clapped for every athlete he watched at the State Track Meet, which was an accomplishment in itself. I was feeling rather violent by the time we made our way OUT of a poorly organized event. HE thought is was the best ever, but then all the kids did. Just the grown ups having tantrums and issues. Ha. There is a lesson for me to ponder. Every where we go he is known, he is liked, and I am honored, he is mine! We often just sit back and smile as we consider this wonderful human being. What a gift.

My sister. Bum Knee. When you are a 106 you have to take care of the joints. .....okay she is not that old but her knee has not been given that message. She is supposed to come for a visit but think it will not happen.....for now. She has to get that resolved in order to enjoy her time here. And it is important that she can do that as I am on the first plane to China when she gets to town. No Not Really, but it sounds good doesn't it. Ha. I look forward to her visits as we are close and she has been a wonderful support to me. Her solace can be found in new CARPET and FLOORING in her home. I told her for every one box back in and take one truck load to the dump. DOWNSIZE. Not sure how that is going, no pictures or photographic evidence. She may actually take after MOM! Had to say it.

My brother. Count down to 60! Okay it is a year away, well minus 9 days. Not that I am keeping track. He has his youngest son home for a bit who has just endured shoulder surgery. My brother has been a paramedic volunteer, a soldier and a teacher so I am pretty sure he can keep the baby boy in line. His school year is nearing an end and he is headed to my sisters to visit and paint. While he is there he could just take a few truck loads to the dump:-) After spending the summer of 07 packing my parents I think this would be the easy thing to do. We will see. Great brother, great support, great friend.

In-laws. Heading north. TAKE ME WITH YOU! I am excited they will be able to get out of the heat and near a pond. Fishing is a great past time, or full time job. I know that is what Rich misses most, his boat and the lake. One Day! They have had great adventures this year and I am guessing will be breaking out the golf clubs for some R and R. Looking forward to hearing about it and maybe a few pictures will make it to my computer. That would be nice.

NY Clan. Well I have to say that a vacation from blog is like turning the ringer off on the phone. I would not do well I think. "What if" would circle through my brain like a spider going down the drain. I don't know if I could take it. How would I survive wire...lesssssss. Don't know! The good news is from the FB, Text, Email and Phone Calls it sounds like they are ALL doing well. I am waiting for their next visit. And remember, it's not nice to live in western Siberia. I am just saying...............

Nieces, Nephews, Cousins, Friends, .....You! Always love hearing about the adventures, trials and triumphs that happen each day. One boy in active service right now. You always get a shout out. And one boy in guard. Also huge having been deployed in the past. And one girl on a War Ready mission as we speak. I am inspired by you all. And the rest of you doing amazing things every day. You always inspire me not to give up, not to grow old and that while they look good on you young'uns, not to wear mini skirts! I loved the 70's. I am glad they are back...style wise. Platform shoes, bell bottoms and tie dye. I am in garment heaven. But the mini skirts, I am leaving that to you kids! Stay in school, keep working, don't speed and whatever you do, don't forget me:-)

 

       -130.5 / 44 weeks

ME. Love my job. Great boss, seriously. Makes it so much nicer to get to work and know that they have your back. Support. My staff, great. I do not have one that I would trade........put in time out maybe, but they are keepers. That does NOT happen often. The whole wife and mother thing, Wonderful. I have great joy in taking care of my boys. It is nights like this that are going to kick me in the well you know, but a little nap tomorrow and 7 or 8 pots of coffee and I will be good for another couple of days. And you, dear cyberspace friends and family, if I could have you all over for some of that coffee I would in a minute. Hope it is the best day ever. And remember, live every moment as if it is the one that counts!


Good Night All!