A Chink in the Armour.
I am not really sure where to begin or what focus to have. As you are well aware it has been a few weeks since the last post. I thought I had done one.....CLEARLY not my best month for organization and control. I am completely OUT of control of.......................life! Who knew.
Parent One: ER for chest pain and new diagnosis of heart problems.
Parent Two: Fell and fractured hip requiring surgery.
Parent One: Fell and fractured wrist requiring a splint.
Parent Two: Slow to get moving and a bit more confused.
Parent One: Slow to get moving and a bit more confused.
HMMM, I believe I am seeing a pattern. Like the great big afghan of life (that one is for mom), there seems to be a familiar zig then zag in this phase of life. Terrible to watch and beginning to seep into the cracks in my armour. I am more fatigued and starting to have EMOTIONS related to this life change I am watching. While I have prided myself on staying 'clinically detached', it is starting to challenge my control of the daily flow as I bridge a full time job, a full time high school student, a husband and two ailing parents at 4 different addresses;-) I can honestly say.,.... I AM TIRED.
It may just be today, but I sense that I may now actually NOT be able to keep my ducks in a row
cover all my bases
meet every ones needs
satisfy my personal overachieving expectations
Yikes.
This is all quite alarming and forces me to be quite introspective (a large word meaning I have to evaluate/re-evaluate all activity/purpose/meaning to life for the purpose of priority and boundaries). I can clearly see the importance of all these things, and yet I must care for me for me to care for others. My focus will need to be on what is necessary not just necessarily nice. Wow, that will be difficult.
In addition, the course of THIS day has brought a somber reality that parent number two is losing the battle. While the hip fracture was a tremendous blow, things initially looked conservatively optimistic. But over the past three days changes indicate possibly a TIA or new stroke. Activity is profoundly limited and communication is sporadic at best. Not where we were hoping to be.
Parent one is also having more difficulty with daily activities and memory that makes this whole thing even more complex. So today after weeks of hospital hopping, one crisis after another, hoping endlessly for improvement, the word Hospice entered the conversation. I brought it up. It is time.
Hospice of the Valley
The facility they live in can accommodate parent two's needs and support parent one. Hospice can bring in any equipment, assistance, support, etc that is necessary for parent two while keeping everyone comfortable and close. Then it is wait. Weeks or months, never know. But at least we will be waiting in the comfort of 'home', surrounded by familiar faces, places and things. Not medical but comfortable.
Palos Verdes Senior Living
I am so grateful for the support of family and friends. I usually do not share or indulge great amounts of news.....this is an unusual glimpse into this most difficult place. I have confidence, however, that while the days or months ahead may be emotional or sorrowful, Christ has prepared a place for each on and awaits their arrival. AND because I know that I am His, I have a relationship with Him, someday we will all be reunited. That is great comfort. I have seen God's hand on our family over the years and clearly His perfect will is being perfected,
The Promise of Heaven
Nearing Home: Thoughts on Life, Faith and Finishing Well
All that being said, thank you for prayer. Thank you for patience. Thank you for walking along side me and my family. We are grateful and wait to see where we are in the next chapter of this journey.
Parent One: ER for chest pain and new diagnosis of heart problems.
Parent Two: Fell and fractured hip requiring surgery.
Parent One: Fell and fractured wrist requiring a splint.
Parent Two: Slow to get moving and a bit more confused.
Parent One: Slow to get moving and a bit more confused.
HMMM, I believe I am seeing a pattern. Like the great big afghan of life (that one is for mom), there seems to be a familiar zig then zag in this phase of life. Terrible to watch and beginning to seep into the cracks in my armour. I am more fatigued and starting to have EMOTIONS related to this life change I am watching. While I have prided myself on staying 'clinically detached', it is starting to challenge my control of the daily flow as I bridge a full time job, a full time high school student, a husband and two ailing parents at 4 different addresses;-) I can honestly say.,.... I AM TIRED.
It may just be today, but I sense that I may now actually NOT be able to keep my ducks in a row
This is all quite alarming and forces me to be quite introspective (a large word meaning I have to evaluate/re-evaluate all activity/purpose/meaning to life for the purpose of priority and boundaries). I can clearly see the importance of all these things, and yet I must care for me for me to care for others. My focus will need to be on what is necessary not just necessarily nice. Wow, that will be difficult.
In addition, the course of THIS day has brought a somber reality that parent number two is losing the battle. While the hip fracture was a tremendous blow, things initially looked conservatively optimistic. But over the past three days changes indicate possibly a TIA or new stroke. Activity is profoundly limited and communication is sporadic at best. Not where we were hoping to be.
Parent one is also having more difficulty with daily activities and memory that makes this whole thing even more complex. So today after weeks of hospital hopping, one crisis after another, hoping endlessly for improvement, the word Hospice entered the conversation. I brought it up. It is time.
Hospice of the Valley
The facility they live in can accommodate parent two's needs and support parent one. Hospice can bring in any equipment, assistance, support, etc that is necessary for parent two while keeping everyone comfortable and close. Then it is wait. Weeks or months, never know. But at least we will be waiting in the comfort of 'home', surrounded by familiar faces, places and things. Not medical but comfortable.
Palos Verdes Senior Living
I am so grateful for the support of family and friends. I usually do not share or indulge great amounts of news.....this is an unusual glimpse into this most difficult place. I have confidence, however, that while the days or months ahead may be emotional or sorrowful, Christ has prepared a place for each on and awaits their arrival. AND because I know that I am His, I have a relationship with Him, someday we will all be reunited. That is great comfort. I have seen God's hand on our family over the years and clearly His perfect will is being perfected,
Nearing Home: Thoughts on Life, Faith and Finishing Well
All that being said, thank you for prayer. Thank you for patience. Thank you for walking along side me and my family. We are grateful and wait to see where we are in the next chapter of this journey.
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