What's the Point........

I sit here watching a movie, a docudrama, about poverty, adversity, prejudice, class wars, family struggles, perseverance, dreams, success and I think "What's the point to my life?" It was clear that in this mans life he did not let the stigma of his heritage, economic status, class, social rank, public opinion or family strife stop him from his dream. It almost did, but he realized that it was 'now or never'. The opportunity had presented and if he let it pass it may never come again. He risked it all. He endured mocking, insults and rejection to take the step and he won! He achieved not only his short term goal but that step led to a lifetime of success as well as a true friend. I like this story. Francis Ouimet was not meant to be anybody. He was a poor immigrant stuck in the lower social class, not a gentleman but a laborer. He was born to it, nothing could change it. Even in his success he was not allowed to be paid for it, he was a commoner, not permitted to receive rewards for his accomplishments. It did not stop him.

So here I am at my 'mid-life' point and I am thinking about my life, what's the point? What am I driven to accomplish? What is it I am to be focused on? By societies standard I am doing ok, I am middle class which means I can go anywhere that my VISA limit will cover. I am educated, can spell most words without spellcheck and have the ability to have robust dialogue when opportunities arise.....which means I can give it as good as I get. I even have a wonderful husband and son. I endure personal challenges and pain, health that is increasingly fragile despite my constant denial, I mean exercise. So, purpose anyone? What is my drive, dream, calling? What is to be accomplished with lifes trials and challenges?

Well, I know that in struggles we become dependent. When we run out of our resources we lean on others. When we have goals or dreams we seek out knowledge, support and resources. So in other words helpless, or so it may seem. But in it all being helpless is just another way of admitting that we can not do it all alone. We do not have it all together. That we are needy, broken, messed up and perhaps lost people who need a little nudge or helping hand. Francis Ouimet relied on a little guy named Eddie who became a lifelong best friend. Both in stature and age he seemed like the wrong choice, but in life he was the one that 'had his back', made sure he was a success.

So for today I will ponder what it is that is 'next'. What is it I am going to be driven to pursue, support, develop or participate in? Better yet, what will I be able to do whole heartedly without abandon? What will be the right fit for my life and will make the best use of my gifts or abilities? Hmmmmm I am certain this will be an interesting opportunity. In the meantime I will drink coffee, lots and lots of coffee.