More Alike than Unalike
I have heard this from so many sources, and said it a zillion times. And it rings true no matter where or what or why something is going on. So at our monthly picnic in the park events I am finally getting to know the parents I have seen and have photos of for oh.....10 or 15 years. Why, you ask, have we only now come to speaking terms? Well it is directly related to the social butterfly I raise.....Master Gates!
The first time we met in the park we actually spoke for 3 hours at which point we all had an Ah Ha! Our children were now old enough, mature enough and interactive enough to "hang out" without constant micro management which allowed us to actually converse. Who knew!
It started out a bit awkward. "Hi, I am Cody's mom." "That's nice, but what is your name?" Hmmmm, a long pregnant pause. In 10 or 15 years I have always and only been Codys' mom. The children, whom I have loved, hugged, high-fived and watched grow up have always called me Codys' mom. The teachers refer to me as Mrs. Gates, Codys' mom. The therapist and care providers call me "Mrs. Gates, Codys' mom" as if they are attached, a single description of my title and role.
As we dug in to our fruit, home made burritos and coffee, we all realized that for the first time that we are more than an appendage to our children. It has been a long road and we have "arrived". Over the summer we have gotten to hold entire conversations finding out the who, what and why we are where we are today. And it is marvelous, inspiring, assuring!
You may take that for granted, having had this occur perhaps when your children started school. But for us, at least as it relates to our special kids, we have only just entered this phase of life. Yes we have had to wait for it, some much longer than others, but we are sooooooo glad it is here. I LOVE these friends. They are like NEW friends. Even though we have walked side by side, we have not been able to really get to know each other until this year. And it is wonderful.
I have found not only children I love and relate to, but their grown ups are validation that I am not alone, that we have all gone through similar challenges and we are all concerned about the same things for their futures. And we understand each other. We have the same "extra eye", and yes it was ME who lost their son for just a moment at Picnic #2, probably at the exact moment I was sharing how I lost him 3 times when he was younger. Ok so now it is 4, but lets not focus on that. That is indeed another post.
As we came home from picnic #3 Rich and I both commented on how much we enjoyed TALKING to Grown Ups at these events. It has been a long time since we have gotten to socialize with parents of "our kids" and what a great group to hang out with. We have had bowling, baseball and picnics as well as upcoming parties and dances. Good times.
As we dug in to our fruit, home made burritos and coffee, we all realized that for the first time that we are more than an appendage to our children. It has been a long road and we have "arrived". Over the summer we have gotten to hold entire conversations finding out the who, what and why we are where we are today. And it is marvelous, inspiring, assuring!
You may take that for granted, having had this occur perhaps when your children started school. But for us, at least as it relates to our special kids, we have only just entered this phase of life. Yes we have had to wait for it, some much longer than others, but we are sooooooo glad it is here. I LOVE these friends. They are like NEW friends. Even though we have walked side by side, we have not been able to really get to know each other until this year. And it is wonderful.
I have found not only children I love and relate to, but their grown ups are validation that I am not alone, that we have all gone through similar challenges and we are all concerned about the same things for their futures. And we understand each other. We have the same "extra eye", and yes it was ME who lost their son for just a moment at Picnic #2, probably at the exact moment I was sharing how I lost him 3 times when he was younger. Ok so now it is 4, but lets not focus on that. That is indeed another post.
As we came home from picnic #3 Rich and I both commented on how much we enjoyed TALKING to Grown Ups at these events. It has been a long time since we have gotten to socialize with parents of "our kids" and what a great group to hang out with. We have had bowling, baseball and picnics as well as upcoming parties and dances. Good times.
And we are grateful. We are comforted that as we share all of our tales, worries and joys that we are in the company of friends who know exactly what we are talking about. We have found that in this group of friends, we are indeed much more alike than unalike!
So true! It was our best summer yet and we didn't even go out of town for it! All we need is good friends who understand where we're coming from and who are willing to be around for the rest of our journey. Looking forward to many more good times.
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