We're Having a Baby!
Okay, calm down! We are not having a baby right now, but it seems like just yesterday we were telling everyone we knew we were going to have a baby, finally! The journey for us was painful, depressing, frustrating and leaving us questioning what God's plan was for us. Four miscarriages. Could it be that my love for children was to be satisfied in other ways? I think of Abraham and Sarah who named their son Isaac meaning laughter or joy. They like us thought they were never going to have children. Clearly we are not the only ones to suffer this trial.
Needless to say, by pregnancy number 5 we were reluctant to share anything. Into the fifth month we were confident that perhaps this time we would see our joy realized. And we did. Trust me, we got everything we asked for and so much more. He arrived in his own time, in his own dramatic fashion. 2 weeks 6 days past the due date. 9 lbs 15 ounces and 23 1/2 inches tall. Oh, did I say by emergency c-section? No? Well in grand fashion he arrived to an audience and he has been commanding one ever since. He loves being center stage I think. He was a quiet, content baby and has been a positive, cheerful child. He rarely exhibits anger or unkind behavior. I could probably count those times on one hand.
Early on we were faced with the need to hand him to a complete or near stranger for open heart surgery. 4 months old. Small, fragile. Terrifying really, even with great faith. You are brought to your knees. You seek assurance, complete trust in the outcome as you hand over the most precious thing you have ever known, no matter what the outcome will be. As you hand your bundle to the masked faces, you watch the door close and just like that, you are alone again. And you don't know what will happen next. You wait.
With gratitude we saw him come through surgery well, and they identified two things to repair when all along they thought there was only one. He had tubes and needles and a big scar. But he was doing well, and would be in the intensive care for a few days while they recovered him. We never left him. One of us was always there. I can tell you to this day, with more than half dozen hospital admissions, 10 surgical procedures, and dozens (57) of emergency room visits, we have never left him alone. We stay, we watch, we pray. And we rejoice. Each day an incredible gift.
So fast forward to each landmark event that has forced us to grow in faith or trust. He wanders, he hides, he runs, he has no safety awareness, no stranger danger. Leaving him at school. Leaving him at program. Leaving him in Sunday School. Leaving him at therapy. Leaving him with a sitter. Letting him do his own care, make his own food, comb his own hair. Okay, well I am not too fussy on the hair, but you get the drift. You see he is learning about shaving, hair gel, spray and deodorant. What the grooming result is can be, well, a bit interesting some times. But that is the smallest of all the opportunities to learn to trust, let go, let God. I am still learning.
He is a junior this year, on a campus of 1700. Huge. He is popular on campus as he is polite and greets everyone he meets, BY NAME. He jokes, laughs, serves, helps, plays, works. He is everyones friend and everyone seems to be his. I never thought I would get to this place. I still park outside school for a few days into each semester, but once I know the teachers get it, I trust. I have to. You see no matter how long we waited, no matter how desperately we prayed for this child, no matter how long he lives with us, he really isn't ours! He is Gods. And God has a plan for him, from his first day to his last.
God has designed this genuine and compassionate heart. He is sensitive to people around him. He is the first to say hello, the first to hug, the first to help. He has a spirit of constant service. He does things without being asked or prompted. He cleans, serves, helps others stand or sit, walk, opens doors, brings food or beverage, removes shoes, serves dinner. He sees a need and he does it. He makes every person feel special and has what they need. He is a servant.
What is most interesting is that as I write this tonight I did a search for the meaning of his name. You see we were not taken to this practice when we picked his name. We both wanted either Cody Joseph for a boy or Sarah Grace for a girl. Never really looked them up, as we immediately agreed on names. We had after all been waiting years to use them. What I discovered is that Cody is an Irish name which means "helper" and Joseph means "kind, thoughtful and good" as found in the old testament. And that is exactly the character of our son. How cool is that.
And just as a post script, we did name our girl. We suffered another miscarriage in 2003, a girl. In 2005 I was called by a colleague about a newborn in the neonatal intensive care in our hospital. It was a sad situation. The mother, who had three children already, did not want to keep this child. She had arranged a private adoption as she did not want to abort this baby. Once this beautiful girl arrived, it was discovered that she had Down syndrome. The adoptive family withdrew and the mother was faced with either having to take this child home or letting the state take her. My friend called me as she knew my love for children. I received permission to visit and hold her. And I did for almost 4 weeks!
I loved this beautiful baby girl. STILL DO! I was determined to find the right home for her. After some phone calls to a dear friend, we found a family who wanted to adopt her. Time was critical as we had 10 days once she was cleared for discharge before the state would take her to foster care making a fast process painfully slow. All things said, on the very last day, lawyers and state documents done, she met her family. It was perfect. As they came to take her home, I was able to be there to hand her over. And they had in their hand the calendar that had a little mark on it. It was the day the children had started praying for a new baby. It was nine months before. And they had asked what I called her. I told them I had named her Sarah Grace, and so it was. She fulfilled the meaning of her name as well, a princess who has found favor and blessing. Cool.
God knew my heart, and in a completely different way then we could have seen, He fulfilled our desires. We are constantly reminded of His goodness and that our vision is limited while God's is not. I am grateful He gave us the perfect child for us. I am grateful He sees what we can not. I am grateful I had a beautiful baby boy. Happy 16th Birthday Cody Joseph!
Needless to say, by pregnancy number 5 we were reluctant to share anything. Into the fifth month we were confident that perhaps this time we would see our joy realized. And we did. Trust me, we got everything we asked for and so much more. He arrived in his own time, in his own dramatic fashion. 2 weeks 6 days past the due date. 9 lbs 15 ounces and 23 1/2 inches tall. Oh, did I say by emergency c-section? No? Well in grand fashion he arrived to an audience and he has been commanding one ever since. He loves being center stage I think. He was a quiet, content baby and has been a positive, cheerful child. He rarely exhibits anger or unkind behavior. I could probably count those times on one hand.
Early on we were faced with the need to hand him to a complete or near stranger for open heart surgery. 4 months old. Small, fragile. Terrifying really, even with great faith. You are brought to your knees. You seek assurance, complete trust in the outcome as you hand over the most precious thing you have ever known, no matter what the outcome will be. As you hand your bundle to the masked faces, you watch the door close and just like that, you are alone again. And you don't know what will happen next. You wait.
With gratitude we saw him come through surgery well, and they identified two things to repair when all along they thought there was only one. He had tubes and needles and a big scar. But he was doing well, and would be in the intensive care for a few days while they recovered him. We never left him. One of us was always there. I can tell you to this day, with more than half dozen hospital admissions, 10 surgical procedures, and dozens (57) of emergency room visits, we have never left him alone. We stay, we watch, we pray. And we rejoice. Each day an incredible gift.
He is a junior this year, on a campus of 1700. Huge. He is popular on campus as he is polite and greets everyone he meets, BY NAME. He jokes, laughs, serves, helps, plays, works. He is everyones friend and everyone seems to be his. I never thought I would get to this place. I still park outside school for a few days into each semester, but once I know the teachers get it, I trust. I have to. You see no matter how long we waited, no matter how desperately we prayed for this child, no matter how long he lives with us, he really isn't ours! He is Gods. And God has a plan for him, from his first day to his last.
What is most interesting is that as I write this tonight I did a search for the meaning of his name. You see we were not taken to this practice when we picked his name. We both wanted either Cody Joseph for a boy or Sarah Grace for a girl. Never really looked them up, as we immediately agreed on names. We had after all been waiting years to use them. What I discovered is that Cody is an Irish name which means "helper" and Joseph means "kind, thoughtful and good" as found in the old testament. And that is exactly the character of our son. How cool is that.
I loved this beautiful baby girl. STILL DO! I was determined to find the right home for her. After some phone calls to a dear friend, we found a family who wanted to adopt her. Time was critical as we had 10 days once she was cleared for discharge before the state would take her to foster care making a fast process painfully slow. All things said, on the very last day, lawyers and state documents done, she met her family. It was perfect. As they came to take her home, I was able to be there to hand her over. And they had in their hand the calendar that had a little mark on it. It was the day the children had started praying for a new baby. It was nine months before. And they had asked what I called her. I told them I had named her Sarah Grace, and so it was. She fulfilled the meaning of her name as well, a princess who has found favor and blessing. Cool.
God knew my heart, and in a completely different way then we could have seen, He fulfilled our desires. We are constantly reminded of His goodness and that our vision is limited while God's is not. I am grateful He gave us the perfect child for us. I am grateful He sees what we can not. I am grateful I had a beautiful baby boy. Happy 16th Birthday Cody Joseph!
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