're' Change
Some people really like change. Some people find it refreshing, renewing, rejuvinating, regenerating, recharging. They find it 're' something positive. I find I become resigned, resistant, reclusive and eventually retreat. My 're' is often NEGATIVE. You might not know this about me right away. This extroverted, perky, immature and spontaneous girl does not like change.
Growing up we moved frequently as a result of our wonderful life in the military. I saw the land, and the land was good. BUT, I never could count on what I learned today, that it would be right tomorrow. In The Karate Kid, Daniel moved to a distant land and suddenly went from being the cool kid to the outsider. Inability to communicate aside, he was different and did not know what was expected, how to speak, how to act, how to relate. Another 're' word, relate. Hmmmm
I enjoyed my gypsy life, but as I have grown older, had life happen, I have found that waking up in the same place everyday has advantages. Some of the things I have become very sensitive and attached to include:
Predictability - Knowing certain things happen a certain way, at a certain time, in a certain way. Knowing the Circle K girls will know my name, will hug my son, will order our Cracker Barrel Sharp Cheddar Cheese.
Stability - Knowing each of our neighbors and friends long enough and well enough to know who we would let watch our son, and who prepares their food in a way that does not draw a citation from the state department.
Reliability - Knowing at a drop of a hat I have a friend who day or night has tested true, been there for the long haul and will care for me or my family without expecting anything or taking anything. There when they promise, first time, every time.
Continuity - Knowing that Cody will get or have what he needs as long as he needs it, translating those support measures from one age to the next. Knowing that he can dance no matter what.
Comfort - Knowing that we will be given hugs, baked goods, errands, prayers and any number of services in our moment of need. Knowing what we need is what matters right now. Knowing that we are supported as life happens. Even better being able to pay it back or pay it forward.
Depth - Knowing that not only will I have the opportunity to see the real needs of neighbors, family and friends, but they will have the same opportunity. What matters most rather than what matters in the moment.
Safety - Every noise, every light, every space brings the ability to feel safe. Living in an area where the saying "I got your back' means something very personal. And they mean it.
So why so retrospective you wonder. It could be a 'cycle thing', which causes me to have hostile thoughts every time I hear it. Could it be the gravitational pull of the moon. Maybe, but having worked in a mental health unit I can tell you A. that is factual and B. you would be implying I am not just in denial but in need of medication. Kindly consider where you want to go with that.
No, it is change. Change of the worst and best kind. Change that makes my heart hurt yet is attached to promise. Our beloved Miss Caroline, dance teacher, best friend and overall 'constant' in support, hope, presence, promise and inspiration is moving away. She is leaving Arizona and venturing to California. We will be lost for a long time.
For Caroline and the special needs community in California, there is only promise. And for that I am grateful that she has an opportunity to create what we had hoped for here. It takes vision, creativity, thinking outside the box. She is gifted at them all. She looks at our kids and sees dancing. She walks around wheelchairs and braces and blindness to show them how to twirl. Nothing too hard, nothing too impossible. So very few really see what a typical child is able to accomplish let alone what those with challenges can do, WILL do.
Oh sure, we have made some wonderful friends that we will have forever most likely. I am grateful for them as we understand each other, we are in the same dance slippers so to speak. But few have reached so passionately to take hold of our children's hands and draw them into the typical world. Most glance and walk by, or even away. Not Miss Caroline, she has seen the inner dancer in us all. And she has allowed us to see hers. You indeed are a true friend.
Thank you Miss Caroline! We love you always! He is looking for you already. xoxo
Growing up we moved frequently as a result of our wonderful life in the military. I saw the land, and the land was good. BUT, I never could count on what I learned today, that it would be right tomorrow. In The Karate Kid, Daniel moved to a distant land and suddenly went from being the cool kid to the outsider. Inability to communicate aside, he was different and did not know what was expected, how to speak, how to act, how to relate. Another 're' word, relate. Hmmmm
I enjoyed my gypsy life, but as I have grown older, had life happen, I have found that waking up in the same place everyday has advantages. Some of the things I have become very sensitive and attached to include:
Predictability - Knowing certain things happen a certain way, at a certain time, in a certain way. Knowing the Circle K girls will know my name, will hug my son, will order our Cracker Barrel Sharp Cheddar Cheese.
Stability - Knowing each of our neighbors and friends long enough and well enough to know who we would let watch our son, and who prepares their food in a way that does not draw a citation from the state department.
Reliability - Knowing at a drop of a hat I have a friend who day or night has tested true, been there for the long haul and will care for me or my family without expecting anything or taking anything. There when they promise, first time, every time.
Continuity - Knowing that Cody will get or have what he needs as long as he needs it, translating those support measures from one age to the next. Knowing that he can dance no matter what.
Comfort - Knowing that we will be given hugs, baked goods, errands, prayers and any number of services in our moment of need. Knowing what we need is what matters right now. Knowing that we are supported as life happens. Even better being able to pay it back or pay it forward.
Depth - Knowing that not only will I have the opportunity to see the real needs of neighbors, family and friends, but they will have the same opportunity. What matters most rather than what matters in the moment.
So why so retrospective you wonder. It could be a 'cycle thing', which causes me to have hostile thoughts every time I hear it. Could it be the gravitational pull of the moon. Maybe, but having worked in a mental health unit I can tell you A. that is factual and B. you would be implying I am not just in denial but in need of medication. Kindly consider where you want to go with that.
No, it is change. Change of the worst and best kind. Change that makes my heart hurt yet is attached to promise. Our beloved Miss Caroline, dance teacher, best friend and overall 'constant' in support, hope, presence, promise and inspiration is moving away. She is leaving Arizona and venturing to California. We will be lost for a long time.
For Caroline and the special needs community in California, there is only promise. And for that I am grateful that she has an opportunity to create what we had hoped for here. It takes vision, creativity, thinking outside the box. She is gifted at them all. She looks at our kids and sees dancing. She walks around wheelchairs and braces and blindness to show them how to twirl. Nothing too hard, nothing too impossible. So very few really see what a typical child is able to accomplish let alone what those with challenges can do, WILL do.
Oh sure, we have made some wonderful friends that we will have forever most likely. I am grateful for them as we understand each other, we are in the same dance slippers so to speak. But few have reached so passionately to take hold of our children's hands and draw them into the typical world. Most glance and walk by, or even away. Not Miss Caroline, she has seen the inner dancer in us all. And she has allowed us to see hers. You indeed are a true friend.
Thank you Miss Caroline! We love you always! He is looking for you already. xoxo
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