Looking Ahead

For those who have not experienced a life interrupted, well, I think you are in a coma or on some really great medication. That being said, I have had a journey of unexpected proportions. At the end of the day I can say it is all good. However between Breakfast and Lunch I would tell you it was a bad bad nightmare. I discovered I am not prepared to:

Grow old(er)

Lose my Independence

Lose my Memory

I have however already lost my mind, or so I have been told, so that one is already marked off my bucket list. I was not prepared as to how I would respond to those changes in my parents, and my coping mechanism was well, I would say deplorable is fairly accurate. I had a roller coaster of "reactions" to every phase of "mourning" experienced by my parents. None of them are in the books,,,,,,well they are there but on the WHAT EVER YOU DO, NEVER DO THIS column. Sounds rather tragic I know. BUT I am glad to say that "This too shall pass" is true! That is the greatest news. You see, the loss was gradually accepted and the new unplanned life has begun. I am oh so grateful for those who stood beside me during the dark days, and who reminded me this is a season. And there are many seasons and we have moved into the next season. Wonderful! Now I will tell you I learned some things about myself that will stay with me for some time:

I get angry.

I get anxious.

I get depressed.

I get encouraged.

I get hopeful.

I get comforted.

I get carried!

I get peace.

Those sound normal but I have always been in control, never letting go of the reigns or laying it out there for the world to see. Going forward I know that no matter what situation I am faced with,  I may experience any or all of these BUT I know that it, that unplanned, unexpected diversion, will only be for a season. This too shall pass! And just in case you are wondering, NO that is not a Bible quote, though it rings true of the promise that we have hope.

Philippians 3:13-14:  Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, ¹⁴ I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus