I Need a Hug!

These are my very favorite words in the whole world. It was always something I have been free to share, a touchy feelie kind of girl. Ha. But hearing those four little words from my "man child" well he can have just about anything he wants. And he does! Okay I am bad, he is spoiled, but he is so cute and he does have to earn things. He has to follow rules, be compliant, complete a task, wake up in the morning :-) So I may be weak at times, but who are we kidding. I would give an arm or a kidney if he asked for a hug first or just right after the request.
When I think of those who don't know how to show genuine affection I am sad. I know people who only hug people who would hug them, they won't initiate it or share it. They are kind of greedy with the affection. Then there are those who are not gifted with showing physical affection, that is just tragic. Not only do I wonder what is in their heart, but I wonder what hurt they have carried through life that would prevent them from showing or receiving affection, even a simple hug!
Then there are those who have no one to hug. They would love one, but perhaps they are poor or unkempt, scaring off the world walking around them with up tilted noses. Or they are mentally not able to communicate, yet they still need that hug desperately! So many are afraid of what will happen, what they will catch, who will see them. All of this does not matter a whit in the eternal world. God says we may entertain angels unaware. Dale Evans wrote a book by this title about a daughter they had adopted, a baby with Down syndrome, when it was not fashionable to do so. They were not afraid for a moment to hold, kiss, hug or show off this unassuming little girl. Yet I have seen those who today, in a world of advanced knowledge and education, who will not let themselves be seen showing affection to a challenged child or adult. They not only withhold much needed affection and validation for that lovely and innocent life, but they have missed the greatest reward. A free, unsolicited,uncomplicated hug, no strings attached. How often does that really happen??
Well, for me everyday, many times. Yes it is true I am his mother and he tells me I am his Best Girl In The World Ever, but he would just as freely hug every other person he meets over the course of the day. And he would mean it, no false affection, no unspoken mean words, just a sweet, warm, firm, I Got You kind of hug, no lines to wait in!!!
I hope that if you have a hugger in your life, you go straight away and grab a couple to get you through the day. If you don't go find one, collect a few and perhaps take lessons on giving them away. It is healthy for you the huggee, it is healthy for them the hugger and it is a great gift for the global community we live in. So from this virtual conversation I am sending you a BIG HUG! Now, pass it on!!
Jude 24-25

Don't Ask Don't Tell? Not anymore!

This is a story about a little boy. He is adorable, and even though the mother is saying it, I have heard it from others. I believe them too. He was a happy child, but chronically ill. We lived in the emergency room for 12 years. Literally! We would hear the midnight "bark" from his room or wheeze with crying and it was off and running. Now, our home was just 6 minutes door to door, though I am not exactly sure if that was within the speed limit. I must have been close, but I can honestly say I never looked!

Ear infections and respiratory infections that caused him to have croup. Breathing treatments, antibiotics, steroids. Good times. NOT! But we were grateful for the emergency department. They got to where they knew him and as soon as we came in the door they got him back to the room. Wonderful (I think). I would far rather be known at Target or Cheesecake Factory, but no. Sigh!

Anyway, we were sent to allergists who wanted to test him and put him on life long shots, pulmonologists who wanted him on 3-4 time a day breathing treatments and steroids. Something never felt right, I never said yes. We went to all of our appointments, got all of the shots and annual blood work.  It would be at his 12 year old exam that our nightmare, or answer, would begin. He was a mere 68 pounds and 4'7". And for the umpteenth time we were told his labs were a little abnormal, that he was anemic and that a specialist suggested iron. Oh and his thyroid was off so we need to see an endocrinologist right away. Now the boy had been on supplements and vitamins since he was three weeks old, so, what?

Well off to the Endocrinologist we went. The entire time we are there she is asking us about a hematology oncology referral. We had no such referral. So I finally asked to see the lab report and upon looking I my heart stopped! As a nurse I can tell you I have seen dying people with better lab work. Horrified! I had not been told about ALL the lab values. And I never asked! It never occurred to me. The doctor never told.

I realized it must be a Don't Ask Don't Tell clause I missed.

So I picked up a copy of all the lab work on the way home and put it in a spreadsheet. I am a nurse after all. I started making some phone calls. Within a couple of hours I had a hematologist I never met calling me at home at 7 pm at night. He had seen the spreadsheet. We saw him the next morning. After some office tests it was either cancer or celiac disease. All I heard "his life could end cancer" or "never eat again celiac disease".

This lovely specialist connected us with a gastroenterologist (GI doc) and within a week he was seen, had a scope and was diagnosed with Celiac disease. Gluten was killing our son. The only two food groups this child ate for 12 years was gluten and dairy. Seriously!! I called him a dairyterian.

In four months he grew 5 inches, 70 pounds and 5 shoe sizes. WOW! Literally busted out of clothes every two weeks. It was crazy.

Three years later he is 5' 5 1/2", 190 pounds and has NOT been sick or to the emergency room except one time for an intestinal virus. ONE TIME THREE YEARS! He is pink, a color he had never had before experienced behind his blue lips and pale skin. He has energy and no longer needs to be forced to run or be dragged around the track. He won his last meet by a mile! And he eats...everything. I mean.....everything!

So my policy changed immediately on that day three years ago. I ASK and THEY MUST TELL! I get copies of all his tests, I carry his spreadsheet to all appointments and his physicians are all amazed that this is the same little fragile boy they met in 2008.