Showing posts with label Cody Grows Up. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cody Grows Up. Show all posts
Sunday, February 23, 2020
Prejudice: Is it you?
Prejudice: Is it you?
Judy L Gates, MSN, BC, CWS, FACCWS
Daily we are confronted with situations or people that can be difficult to manage due to prejudice. It includes a bias or judgement related to lifestyle, economy, ability, looks, race, speech, beliefs, and the list goes on. I am speaking of our prejudice, nurses and healthcare workers, not theirs. We roll our eyes out loud, clear our throats often, sigh deeply, tap fingers or pens. Perhaps find many reasons not to enter the room, always have a call to take, you know the drill. So much of our communication is ongoing even when our lips are closed. Patients aren’t dumb, they have used the same strategies perhaps themselves. The one thing they know for sure is, you don’t want to care for them.
Now it does not imply you are a bad person or don’t care, though it could appear that way. But it does mean patients or their families are neglected. They are in the hospital, away from their routine, friends, comfort. They are completely vulnerable. They can’t get medicine when they hurt, get up to a chair so they can eat. That takes you! They may need help to take a walk or go to the restroom, from you. Can you imagine if it was you that needed this help? Your parent or child?
Let’s consider this scenario....
A 24 year old man, was admitted for pneumonia. He was not cooperative with breathing treatments, throwing the mask at the therapist. He yelled for the nurse constantly. He was thirsty, hungry, wanted help with the tv. He complained of headaches. His dad would stay with him most of the time. If no one came in he would go looking for a nurse to help his son.
No one wanted this patient, too needy, yelling and he would hang on to your hand forever if you went in.
It’s your first day back and so you are getting this patient. Everyone smirks and winks at each other. You’re not dumb either! So you straighten up, take a deep breath and walk in. After your assessment you come out and there is no yelling, no nurse button, no dad chasing you down. The entire day is peaceful. Everyone wants to know your secret.
What do you think?
The answer was simple, ‘I talked to him and held his hand’. Mic drop!
You see, she walked in and left all the stories and ‘trash talk’ at the door. She cleared the white board, if you will, and met him with a smile. Dad noted that she was the first nurse to walk in with a smile and actually talk TO his son or hold his hand. Full on eye contact! After helping him find his favorite show, getting food ready and listening to his joke she waved goodbye and went to her next patient.
So the rest of the story, David (the 24 year old) had Down syndrome. He couldn’t speak very well but liked to! He told jokes that didn’t make sense, but he still found them very funny. He loved Barney and Sponge Bob. He loved pizza and chips and diet pop. When he was afraid and didn’t understand things he would become angry, cry and throw things. His dad had watched nurses and healthcare providers avoid, dismiss or talk around his son. For many they weren’t comfortable as they had never been around someone with disabilities. For others they would get frustrated being hovered over by the dad.
Could this be you? Have you seen it, or done it? What can you do to help your patient or you have a better experience? Here are a few suggestions:
Avoid the subjective stuff from others
Walk in with a clean slate for the shift
Smile, and don’t be afraid to hold hands
Laugh even when it is not funny
Include the patient in every conversation
Treat each patient the same as your favorite person
Change, by example, the culture one nurse and one patient at a time
As the parent of an adult with special needs and a 44 year healthcare career in my pocket I can tell you I have seen it. I fear it will happen to my son! I want to know that when he is afraid, sick, can’t be understood, can’t find his show that someone (any one of you) will take that extra 5 to help him. Make time, in the midst of the rapid pace, to take 5 for any patient or family that needs reassurance, compassion, a hand held. The reward is great for you and priceless for that individual! You can make a difference, one encounter at a time!!
‘To the world you are only one person, but to one person you may be the world!’ Bill Wilson
JLG 5.31.18
Judy L Gates, MSN, BC, CWS, FACCWS
Daily we are confronted with situations or people that can be difficult to manage due to prejudice. It includes a bias or judgement related to lifestyle, economy, ability, looks, race, speech, beliefs, and the list goes on. I am speaking of our prejudice, nurses and healthcare workers, not theirs. We roll our eyes out loud, clear our throats often, sigh deeply, tap fingers or pens. Perhaps find many reasons not to enter the room, always have a call to take, you know the drill. So much of our communication is ongoing even when our lips are closed. Patients aren’t dumb, they have used the same strategies perhaps themselves. The one thing they know for sure is, you don’t want to care for them.
Now it does not imply you are a bad person or don’t care, though it could appear that way. But it does mean patients or their families are neglected. They are in the hospital, away from their routine, friends, comfort. They are completely vulnerable. They can’t get medicine when they hurt, get up to a chair so they can eat. That takes you! They may need help to take a walk or go to the restroom, from you. Can you imagine if it was you that needed this help? Your parent or child?
Let’s consider this scenario....
A 24 year old man, was admitted for pneumonia. He was not cooperative with breathing treatments, throwing the mask at the therapist. He yelled for the nurse constantly. He was thirsty, hungry, wanted help with the tv. He complained of headaches. His dad would stay with him most of the time. If no one came in he would go looking for a nurse to help his son.
No one wanted this patient, too needy, yelling and he would hang on to your hand forever if you went in.
It’s your first day back and so you are getting this patient. Everyone smirks and winks at each other. You’re not dumb either! So you straighten up, take a deep breath and walk in. After your assessment you come out and there is no yelling, no nurse button, no dad chasing you down. The entire day is peaceful. Everyone wants to know your secret.
What do you think?
The answer was simple, ‘I talked to him and held his hand’. Mic drop!
You see, she walked in and left all the stories and ‘trash talk’ at the door. She cleared the white board, if you will, and met him with a smile. Dad noted that she was the first nurse to walk in with a smile and actually talk TO his son or hold his hand. Full on eye contact! After helping him find his favorite show, getting food ready and listening to his joke she waved goodbye and went to her next patient.
So the rest of the story, David (the 24 year old) had Down syndrome. He couldn’t speak very well but liked to! He told jokes that didn’t make sense, but he still found them very funny. He loved Barney and Sponge Bob. He loved pizza and chips and diet pop. When he was afraid and didn’t understand things he would become angry, cry and throw things. His dad had watched nurses and healthcare providers avoid, dismiss or talk around his son. For many they weren’t comfortable as they had never been around someone with disabilities. For others they would get frustrated being hovered over by the dad.
Could this be you? Have you seen it, or done it? What can you do to help your patient or you have a better experience? Here are a few suggestions:
Avoid the subjective stuff from others
Walk in with a clean slate for the shift
Smile, and don’t be afraid to hold hands
Laugh even when it is not funny
Include the patient in every conversation
Treat each patient the same as your favorite person
Change, by example, the culture one nurse and one patient at a time
As the parent of an adult with special needs and a 44 year healthcare career in my pocket I can tell you I have seen it. I fear it will happen to my son! I want to know that when he is afraid, sick, can’t be understood, can’t find his show that someone (any one of you) will take that extra 5 to help him. Make time, in the midst of the rapid pace, to take 5 for any patient or family that needs reassurance, compassion, a hand held. The reward is great for you and priceless for that individual! You can make a difference, one encounter at a time!!
‘To the world you are only one person, but to one person you may be the world!’ Bill Wilson
JLG 5.31.18
World Peace
World Peace
I grew up in the Cleaver family. That is what I always tell folks. We had the mom who cleaned while wearing a skirt and heals and a father who wore a suit practically everywhere. We dressed up for Sundays and holidays. We took family trips in the car, laughed a lot and left drool stains on the seat. There were three kids and we did not quarrel. How is that possible some ask. I honestly can’t say other than we genuinely liked each other and if anything, there were always some baked goods that solved any threat of a dispute. It certainly was not the view I found in other homes, families or the world.
I spent decades thinking of world peace as an unattainable goal. Though it was elusive I recently discovered it can be found right here on this planet. In all my wandering and human interactions is was nearly impossible to imagine it could really exist outside small, intimate groups. It is certainly not seen on the evening news, in the slur of opposing candidates, in the disparity in religion, in the hateful crime against humanity. But then I found it, buried in plain sight in a stadium holding thousands.
I had never noticed how negative some people could be until I was surrounded by only kindness. As a nurse you would expect kindness to be the norm of healthcare but indeed, it can be anything but that in the experiences faced daily. Angry patients, family or doctors is just a pimple in the complexion of ill will that can be seen in a hospital. I have had patients punch me, try to choke me, try to choke others, throw furniture and so much more. Granted some hard issues are faced but please and thank you should not be impacted in the course of the human experience.
My observation of human nature and or behaviors increased in sensitivity with the birth of a special needs child. I had been aware of many disparate responses to those with disabilities in my career prior to the birth of my son. I worked in several settings caring for special needs children and adults. I had seen and reacted to quite a few irreverent individuals in contact with my charges much like a mamma bear and her cubs. With my sons arrival those defensive instincts magnified exponentially.
In controlled safe spaces I found a compassionate and supportive network. Teachers, providers, aides, other families all who could see what I wanted to or hoped for. They pointed out things that I did not see in his ability and progress while helping me accept his current developmental accomplishments. But when walking down the grocery store aisle some eyes stared, people whispered, even Santa rolled his eyes. It was clear not everyone saw the beautiful boy I did. So I stayed close to the family of forever friends we were collecting along the way.
After many years I discovered what I long hoped for which is genuine world peace, found in the hearts and minds of a community who see all as friends, equals despite color, country or party. I had seen it in fleeting moments though it quickly vanished, like the sunrise, in the face of naysayers. I have imagined that if only these amazing people, these champions for goodwill could be seen as global ambassadors the uninspired would be able to see each other through very different eyes. I do believe unconditionally, perspective is everything.
I have watched some icons of this world walk away, around or into these beacons of joy while mocking them for their lack of. Lack of money, work, words, skill, ability. Yet this beautiful sea of smiles and hugs sees past that hurt and anger, embracing everyone they can. It is not that these people don't know that others are being mean, it is that it doesn't really matter. Though they might experience hurt feelings it often quickly dissolves any cruelty intended by giving back something that frankly, others don't deserve. This unified team operates out of grace and mercy.
This world peace happened in LA of all places. Riddled with crime, history, gang violence and tragedy a fresh wind momentarily cleared the smog. Who would have thought that was possible. It happened at the 2015 Special Olympics World Games. There were 7000 athletes from 170 countries with 30,000 volunteers and twice as many supporters. And there was joy. While I was whining about the heat and long lines, they stood patiently. While I wanted to sit down they waited full of excitement, in the presence of their friends, whether they knew them or not. I blamed, slurred, criticized while my son stood quietly. I apologized and he forgave me. "It's alright mom, I love you!" I scanned the crowd and it was evident, if anyone was cranky it was not the athletes or their peers. He reached up, hugged me and reassured me, it would be alright if I just take a deep breath and count to ten. I sighed deeply and knew he was right.
I met large groups gathering for the games in two of the host cities, our group entertained them with dance. The teams danced with us or stood by us or held our hands or sat near us. They celebrated, they smiled, laughed, hugged, helped each other though complete strangers. They spoke different languages, had varied abilities or ‘difabilities’ as our friend Tim Shriver says. World peace happened at the games and I am still full of humility and tears. It was a glimpse of what I think God intended when he put humans on the planet and I wait with anticipation to live in that state of joy again. I am certain God smiled at this international love fest at the games.
I have been that mom who wants to tell anyone who will listen everything her son has accomplished. I have even spent money to have the first two years of my sons life moved from VHS to digital and I discovered the most remarkable thing. What I saw, what I now realize I forced my loved ones to endure.....nothing. Hours of an adorable baby dressed in a variety of adorable clothes doing absolutely nothing. But wow he sure could do it well, smiling the entire time. Now as an adult he has eclipsed my wildest dreams and made me incredibly proud every day. He is my world peace. He demonstrates everyday the patience, kindness, charity and joy that I saw at those games. I stand in awe at times that I get to be his mom.
He has been surrounded by amazing family, friends, teachers, mentors and absolute strangers who have watched him grow, who see his actions, who admire his kindness. When I was surrounded by all of those glowing faces it became clear that world peace can happen. I saw it first hand with a stadium full of people who looked at others as if they all matter. There was competition, there were winners and losers, but there were only cheers for friends whether they won or lost. It simply didn’t matter. I would give anything to see that again. And because I saw it once I have a dream, a hope that I will see it again.
jlg 11/26/18 (c) submitted University of Oxford
I grew up in the Cleaver family. That is what I always tell folks. We had the mom who cleaned while wearing a skirt and heals and a father who wore a suit practically everywhere. We dressed up for Sundays and holidays. We took family trips in the car, laughed a lot and left drool stains on the seat. There were three kids and we did not quarrel. How is that possible some ask. I honestly can’t say other than we genuinely liked each other and if anything, there were always some baked goods that solved any threat of a dispute. It certainly was not the view I found in other homes, families or the world.
I spent decades thinking of world peace as an unattainable goal. Though it was elusive I recently discovered it can be found right here on this planet. In all my wandering and human interactions is was nearly impossible to imagine it could really exist outside small, intimate groups. It is certainly not seen on the evening news, in the slur of opposing candidates, in the disparity in religion, in the hateful crime against humanity. But then I found it, buried in plain sight in a stadium holding thousands.
I had never noticed how negative some people could be until I was surrounded by only kindness. As a nurse you would expect kindness to be the norm of healthcare but indeed, it can be anything but that in the experiences faced daily. Angry patients, family or doctors is just a pimple in the complexion of ill will that can be seen in a hospital. I have had patients punch me, try to choke me, try to choke others, throw furniture and so much more. Granted some hard issues are faced but please and thank you should not be impacted in the course of the human experience.
My observation of human nature and or behaviors increased in sensitivity with the birth of a special needs child. I had been aware of many disparate responses to those with disabilities in my career prior to the birth of my son. I worked in several settings caring for special needs children and adults. I had seen and reacted to quite a few irreverent individuals in contact with my charges much like a mamma bear and her cubs. With my sons arrival those defensive instincts magnified exponentially.
In controlled safe spaces I found a compassionate and supportive network. Teachers, providers, aides, other families all who could see what I wanted to or hoped for. They pointed out things that I did not see in his ability and progress while helping me accept his current developmental accomplishments. But when walking down the grocery store aisle some eyes stared, people whispered, even Santa rolled his eyes. It was clear not everyone saw the beautiful boy I did. So I stayed close to the family of forever friends we were collecting along the way.
After many years I discovered what I long hoped for which is genuine world peace, found in the hearts and minds of a community who see all as friends, equals despite color, country or party. I had seen it in fleeting moments though it quickly vanished, like the sunrise, in the face of naysayers. I have imagined that if only these amazing people, these champions for goodwill could be seen as global ambassadors the uninspired would be able to see each other through very different eyes. I do believe unconditionally, perspective is everything.
I have watched some icons of this world walk away, around or into these beacons of joy while mocking them for their lack of. Lack of money, work, words, skill, ability. Yet this beautiful sea of smiles and hugs sees past that hurt and anger, embracing everyone they can. It is not that these people don't know that others are being mean, it is that it doesn't really matter. Though they might experience hurt feelings it often quickly dissolves any cruelty intended by giving back something that frankly, others don't deserve. This unified team operates out of grace and mercy.
This world peace happened in LA of all places. Riddled with crime, history, gang violence and tragedy a fresh wind momentarily cleared the smog. Who would have thought that was possible. It happened at the 2015 Special Olympics World Games. There were 7000 athletes from 170 countries with 30,000 volunteers and twice as many supporters. And there was joy. While I was whining about the heat and long lines, they stood patiently. While I wanted to sit down they waited full of excitement, in the presence of their friends, whether they knew them or not. I blamed, slurred, criticized while my son stood quietly. I apologized and he forgave me. "It's alright mom, I love you!" I scanned the crowd and it was evident, if anyone was cranky it was not the athletes or their peers. He reached up, hugged me and reassured me, it would be alright if I just take a deep breath and count to ten. I sighed deeply and knew he was right.
I met large groups gathering for the games in two of the host cities, our group entertained them with dance. The teams danced with us or stood by us or held our hands or sat near us. They celebrated, they smiled, laughed, hugged, helped each other though complete strangers. They spoke different languages, had varied abilities or ‘difabilities’ as our friend Tim Shriver says. World peace happened at the games and I am still full of humility and tears. It was a glimpse of what I think God intended when he put humans on the planet and I wait with anticipation to live in that state of joy again. I am certain God smiled at this international love fest at the games.
I have been that mom who wants to tell anyone who will listen everything her son has accomplished. I have even spent money to have the first two years of my sons life moved from VHS to digital and I discovered the most remarkable thing. What I saw, what I now realize I forced my loved ones to endure.....nothing. Hours of an adorable baby dressed in a variety of adorable clothes doing absolutely nothing. But wow he sure could do it well, smiling the entire time. Now as an adult he has eclipsed my wildest dreams and made me incredibly proud every day. He is my world peace. He demonstrates everyday the patience, kindness, charity and joy that I saw at those games. I stand in awe at times that I get to be his mom.
He has been surrounded by amazing family, friends, teachers, mentors and absolute strangers who have watched him grow, who see his actions, who admire his kindness. When I was surrounded by all of those glowing faces it became clear that world peace can happen. I saw it first hand with a stadium full of people who looked at others as if they all matter. There was competition, there were winners and losers, but there were only cheers for friends whether they won or lost. It simply didn’t matter. I would give anything to see that again. And because I saw it once I have a dream, a hope that I will see it again.
jlg 11/26/18 (c) submitted University of Oxford
Monday, April 4, 2016
Look at Me Now!
I have had the privilege of watching this amazing boy grow into a wonderful, polite, funny, kind young man. He is smart, sensitive, deep and witty. He is 'wise and gentle' I was told on Sunday. I think this long list of accolades in my mind every day but try not to say them too often, after all I am Judy, aka Mom!
He embraces life so fully and encourages everyone around him to come along. Oh sure, he is quieter than he used to be 'at times' which is probably appropriate. I am still trying to learn that myself. I tell folks I am 55 but often 12. That is fairly accurate I think. We could do a vote but you know..........
We have had another few months of great excitement. His former (and very much loved) high school brought the alums and current unified athletes together for a special event welcoming Principal's, Special Olympics executives and the curious to see their internationally renowned Unified Sports Special Olympics program. Dr Tim Shriver was the tour guide and Raymond S Kellis showed the globe how it is done. Forever we are grateful for our time there, the teachers, the peers, the Principal and the permission to dream big. We are grateful for Tim Shriver who Cody feels is his best friend! He is a kind heart and so much fun.
Cody's new program, One Step Beyond, has all of the things a kid would love including dance, art, photography, creative writing, karate and more. They also do work training which Cody enjoys as well. His dance team performed at the half time of the ASU men's basketball game, then the national finalist ASU women's basketball game. And then they put on an amazing dance show, Dance Free, their first ever full length show. FANTASTIC. He excels at performing and always finds his way to the front of the stage.
Via One Step he has been taking Karate and he successfully tested for his yellow belt. He enjoys yoga at One Step Beyond and I enjoy Hot Yoga at Y.O.G.A. on Fridays so he goes with me. He loves it, who knew! He just took his second Royal Academy of Dance (RAD) ballet exam and so we are waiting for the results. 6-8 weeks of nail biting and pacing. Following the exams we have now developed the celebratory ritual of True Foods and Frost Gelato. That makes it all worthwhile. He loves his dance with Miss Caroline and will do so for hours while walking around the track once was always a struggle. LOL He taught his first ballet class last month to 10 children. It was great fun and he did very well. We are excited about more classes in the future.
Rich and I are still the same, older, but the same. We are blessed to have good jobs that have remained steady over the years. We are looking forward to great things in the next few months as our family grows and grows up. In the meantime we never know what 'boy' will greet us when we open his door or he walks out to get supper. It is an adventure living with this creative boy. And we love it, every minute!
He embraces life so fully and encourages everyone around him to come along. Oh sure, he is quieter than he used to be 'at times' which is probably appropriate. I am still trying to learn that myself. I tell folks I am 55 but often 12. That is fairly accurate I think. We could do a vote but you know..........
We have had another few months of great excitement. His former (and very much loved) high school brought the alums and current unified athletes together for a special event welcoming Principal's, Special Olympics executives and the curious to see their internationally renowned Unified Sports Special Olympics program. Dr Tim Shriver was the tour guide and Raymond S Kellis showed the globe how it is done. Forever we are grateful for our time there, the teachers, the peers, the Principal and the permission to dream big. We are grateful for Tim Shriver who Cody feels is his best friend! He is a kind heart and so much fun.
Cody's new program, One Step Beyond, has all of the things a kid would love including dance, art, photography, creative writing, karate and more. They also do work training which Cody enjoys as well. His dance team performed at the half time of the ASU men's basketball game, then the national finalist ASU women's basketball game. And then they put on an amazing dance show, Dance Free, their first ever full length show. FANTASTIC. He excels at performing and always finds his way to the front of the stage.
Via One Step he has been taking Karate and he successfully tested for his yellow belt. He enjoys yoga at One Step Beyond and I enjoy Hot Yoga at Y.O.G.A. on Fridays so he goes with me. He loves it, who knew! He just took his second Royal Academy of Dance (RAD) ballet exam and so we are waiting for the results. 6-8 weeks of nail biting and pacing. Following the exams we have now developed the celebratory ritual of True Foods and Frost Gelato. That makes it all worthwhile. He loves his dance with Miss Caroline and will do so for hours while walking around the track once was always a struggle. LOL He taught his first ballet class last month to 10 children. It was great fun and he did very well. We are excited about more classes in the future.
Rich and I are still the same, older, but the same. We are blessed to have good jobs that have remained steady over the years. We are looking forward to great things in the next few months as our family grows and grows up. In the meantime we never know what 'boy' will greet us when we open his door or he walks out to get supper. It is an adventure living with this creative boy. And we love it, every minute!
Friday, December 25, 2015
Sunshine in a Bottle
I love this kid...., uh, MAN! Who let him grow up anyway. He brings a smile and warm spirit everywhere he goes. He blushes and gets so excited when there is good news. He is quiet and holds a hand when there is something serious. He is perceptive of the temperature in the room and the activity happening all around him. He misses NOTHING! He forgets NOTHING! He has unconditional, genuine, compassionate, steadfast love. Oh how I wish that could be bottled up and given out for Christmas. What a world we would have.
I gush a lot about our son, which if you have read any of this blog you will acknowledge is true. But there is something about him that is the best of gifts. I reflect about the day we had him, totally unaware of the extra chromosome he had and unprepared for a different life journey. It didn't matter to us. As a matter of fact, his father went straight to the library to learn what he needed to know to make a great start, no hesitation. We stood tall and were ready for the road ahead. But others, not so confident, or comfortable with the things that were different.
Comments were made that still ring in my memory. Who would find this life less than desirable, less than 'ideal'? Well I could tell you a few who did. And who would be uncomfortable with his diffabilities, his appearance? I can tell you who they were too. But those that stayed for the adventure and those that joined our forever family, they have been privileged to observe and reap the reward that is Cody. He has his grumpy moments, but they are precious few and far apart. As a matter of fact he has to remind me to take a deep breath, count to ten and stop talking loudly to other drivers on the road. Apparently they can't hear me anyway.
His way is calm, patient, forgiving. He would never intentionally hurt anyone, but he would definitely hug them, remind them he loves them and that it will all be okay. He is the nicest person I have ever met. And he is witty, quick to tell some jokes and have a good laugh. He is teased mercilessly by his mom (yes and I can't stop) and he laughs every time to make me feel good. LOL
He sings continuously, cheers on his favorite superheroes at top volume and plays a variety of instruments homemade and store bought. For hours! His imagination is constantly churning out new inventions and costumes with details. And everyday he adds more details. Most of them are puppets that he can make talk. They are very clever. He can describe them in great detail from their appearance to their personality.
He prays. We call him preacher and I believe he is a Pentecostal or at least charismatic. He can give a great sermon and pray for the whole world in the course of a single session. It is wonderful. The longer he goes the more you hear his heart passionately intercede for those in need. It is a beautiful thing. He is a great example.
So today is Christmas. We made a zillion pit stops over the last four days. He was with me when I bought most of his gifts yet he pretended to be surprised. "You were with me, remember?" "I know mom!" LOL He plays Santa so he can hand out the gifts and make everyone happy. He cleans up, which he does daily, but wrappings and boxes. All of it.
So here I have this amazing son, my greatest gift, and today I celebrate his contribution to the family, our friends and the world! I feel sad for those who have chosen not to walk with us because their measure of what has value or meaning is skewed. They have missed a tremendous adventure, a silly and playful life. They have missed being touched by Sunshine in a Bottle!
Monday, August 12, 2013
I am so Excited...................
........he said as he ran, sprinted actually, past me to the bus. First day of school, senior year, 12th grade. "I get to see my friends, and go to program and be with my brothers Isaiah and Kaleb. I can't wait!" He spoke at the speed of light but fortunately his father and I are used to speed hearing. We smiled, waived until the bus was out of site and went back inside the house. I love that he loves school, and has friends. I love that he loves his teachers. And they love him! Great stuff. It seems like a million years ago that he started pre-school at the Foundation for Blind Children. A small, reluctant........better 'resistant' student. He liked everything about school then ......except noise, people, therapy, activities and staying awake. Then he entered public school.
This was an enormous stretch for us after they booted us from the foundation. Well, booted is strong, forced departure seem too strong? Ok, there are rules, he was five, but really, would one year hurt? What I am implying is we had to leave and we did not want to. It took us two years to learn to trust the strangers who had charge of our son. And now that we did trust FBC we had to start all over. And instead of 100 students there were 800. And there were bigger kids, and stereos, and truants. UGH! We were fairly excited once we went through the process. And it is quite a process when you have a special child......not that they are not all special, but one that needs a bit more. There is the testing where they determine what the IQ is and they sit in a circle to tell you what all is wrong with your child. I was devastated that first meeting. I was told my son was slightly more intelligent than a stone, had sub-performance in 100% of the assessments and he might benefit from medications. I am serious, this was the summary with smiles and happy tones from all. Did I say I screamed? Hmmmm, I know I wanted to. Oh wait, it was silent in the room, tears in the car and anger when I got home. Then it was OK. You see I knew he was able to much more than he did that day, he simply did not want to do it for THEM. And I knew he did not need any medication, but I could make recommendations for medication and social skills training for THEM. We finally got to meet the teachers. They seemed good. The class we wanted him in turned out to be the wrong place. NOTE TO SELF: Make sure the 'special ed' teacher really wants to work with developmentally disabled children, not just slow readers. By the end of week two of school, ten straight days of crying (both of us), we called a meeting and moved him to a different class. Wonderful choice.
Not only did he do better in the second class but he made friends that he still has today. He is still in school and activities with several of them. This was a great boon as when he moved up to the next grades and then to a second school, familiar people ........."friends" were with him. His extended family stayed with him. Then there came high school "You have got to be kidding me!" I said as they told me there would be 2000 students more or less. No. That is not going to happen. Hmmmmmmm. I didn't really care who had gone there before, not my boy. Faste Forward Three Years! .......Well, here it is. A senior, 12th grade, graduating with a world looming that is bigger than 2000. Questions from the freaked out mom include; Can God really keep an eye on him in the world? Will God still be able to bring the right people to care for him? Will God protect him and be there always? Is there really enough Xanax to keep me calm for the next 20 to 30 years?
We have been blessed with wonderful friends, a supportive community and great memories. As he turns 17, starts the last leg of high school we celebrated the joy that is Cody.
Not only did he do better in the second class but he made friends that he still has today. He is still in school and activities with several of them. This was a great boon as when he moved up to the next grades and then to a second school, familiar people ........."friends" were with him. His extended family stayed with him. Then there came high school "You have got to be kidding me!" I said as they told me there would be 2000 students more or less. No. That is not going to happen. Hmmmmmmm. I didn't really care who had gone there before, not my boy. Faste Forward Three Years! .......Well, here it is. A senior, 12th grade, graduating with a world looming that is bigger than 2000. Questions from the freaked out mom include; Can God really keep an eye on him in the world? Will God still be able to bring the right people to care for him? Will God protect him and be there always? Is there really enough Xanax to keep me calm for the next 20 to 30 years?
We have been blessed with wonderful friends, a supportive community and great memories. As he turns 17, starts the last leg of high school we celebrated the joy that is Cody.
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
Count Down ..........
It is amazing how fast time flies when I am distracted. So I am thinking part of it is that I am plagued by thoughts of the "next" things. Have you ever been there? It is overwhelming to think not only about where you have been and how far you have come, but even more about where you are about to go! I could say the abyss, but that sounds dark. I will tell you it is certainly a mystery in some ways. Because others have gone ahead of us it is not completely unknown, but it is unknown to ME! And today it is all about me. LOL!
4 days to 22. A marriage miracle! We have lasted longer than national and global averages, and still like each other. I think that is marvelous. I have talked to many that are married but have not desire to be. They do it for the kids, the house, the dogs, the pride. We are just doing cause we want to. Sweet!
8 days to 12. This is the most shocking number. Baby is in 12th grade. A senior, an upper class-men, a cool dude well known and having a gas everyday. He loves life, school, friends, teachers, learning. He is fun. He is happy. He is inspiring. He is the Code Man!
10 days to 17! That's right, in 10 days baby will be 17! My adorable, little chili bean is now a man child with facial hair and girl friend(s) and he no longer needs to hug me goodbye or hello or just because. I ask for a hug and I get it but...........it is clearly no longer his first thought.
152 days (give or take) to 28. Indeed. 27nieces, nephew, great nieces, great nephews and the mystery #28 to arrive this winter. I am so blessed with a lovely clan from both sides and wish all of them could come over for a pb and j or steak. LOL!
And well there are other numbers of days that are interesting and meaningful to me:
19, 293 days since the beginning..........if you said 'of time' I will have to hurt you. If you said since my glorious birth you are right on time. It is only 65 days until I get to celebrate yet another day (year) passing. I can count on a communities hands the number of days since I became a believer.... 12002, the number of days since I was married .....8033 and 6200 days since I became a mother......and a mere 1429 days since I started throwing my thoughts into the cyber wind!
I hope this day is special to you. After all, our days and even the hairs on our head are numbered!!! What number are you?
Job14:5, Psalm 39:4, Matthew 10:30
4 days to 22. A marriage miracle! We have lasted longer than national and global averages, and still like each other. I think that is marvelous. I have talked to many that are married but have not desire to be. They do it for the kids, the house, the dogs, the pride. We are just doing cause we want to. Sweet!
8 days to 12. This is the most shocking number. Baby is in 12th grade. A senior, an upper class-men, a cool dude well known and having a gas everyday. He loves life, school, friends, teachers, learning. He is fun. He is happy. He is inspiring. He is the Code Man!
10 days to 17! That's right, in 10 days baby will be 17! My adorable, little chili bean is now a man child with facial hair and girl friend(s) and he no longer needs to hug me goodbye or hello or just because. I ask for a hug and I get it but...........it is clearly no longer his first thought.
152 days (give or take) to 28. Indeed. 27nieces, nephew, great nieces, great nephews and the mystery #28 to arrive this winter. I am so blessed with a lovely clan from both sides and wish all of them could come over for a pb and j or steak. LOL!
And well there are other numbers of days that are interesting and meaningful to me:
19, 293 days since the beginning..........if you said 'of time' I will have to hurt you. If you said since my glorious birth you are right on time. It is only 65 days until I get to celebrate yet another day (year) passing. I can count on a communities hands the number of days since I became a believer.... 12002, the number of days since I was married .....8033 and 6200 days since I became a mother......and a mere 1429 days since I started throwing my thoughts into the cyber wind!
I hope this day is special to you. After all, our days and even the hairs on our head are numbered!!! What number are you?
Job14:5, Psalm 39:4, Matthew 10:30
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