I grew up in the Cleaver family. That is what I always tell folks. We had the mom who cleaned while wearing a skirt and heals and a father who wore a suit practically everywhere. We dressed up for Sundays and holidays. We took family trips in the car, laughed a lot and left drool stains on the seat. There were three kids and we did not quarrel. How is that possible some ask. I honestly can’t say other than we genuinely liked each other and if anything, there were always some baked goods that solved any threat of a dispute. It certainly was not the view I found in other homes, families or the world.
I spent decades thinking of world peace as an unattainable goal. Though it was elusive I recently discovered it can be found right here on this planet. In all my wandering and human interactions is was nearly impossible to imagine it could really exist outside small, intimate groups. It is certainly not seen on the evening news, in the slur of opposing candidates, in the disparity in religion, in the hateful crime against humanity. But then I found it, buried in plain sight in a stadium holding thousands.
I had never noticed how negative some people could be until I was surrounded by only kindness. As a nurse you would expect kindness to be the norm of healthcare but indeed, it can be anything but that in the experiences faced daily. Angry patients, family or doctors is just a pimple in the complexion of ill will that can be seen in a hospital. I have had patients punch me, try to choke me, try to choke others, throw furniture and so much more. Granted some hard issues are faced but please and thank you should not be impacted in the course of the human experience.
My observation of human nature and or behaviors increased in sensitivity with the birth of a special needs child. I had been aware of many disparate responses to those with disabilities in my career prior to the birth of my son. I worked in several settings caring for special needs children and adults. I had seen and reacted to quite a few irreverent individuals in contact with my charges much like a mamma bear and her cubs. With my sons arrival those defensive instincts magnified exponentially.
In controlled safe spaces I found a compassionate and supportive network. Teachers, providers, aides, other families all who could see what I wanted to or hoped for. They pointed out things that I did not see in his ability and progress while helping me accept his current developmental accomplishments. But when walking down the grocery store aisle some eyes stared, people whispered, even Santa rolled his eyes. It was clear not everyone saw the beautiful boy I did. So I stayed close to the family of forever friends we were collecting along the way.
After many years I discovered what I long hoped for which is genuine world peace, found in the hearts and minds of a community who see all as friends, equals despite color, country or party. I had seen it in fleeting moments though it quickly vanished, like the sunrise, in the face of naysayers. I have imagined that if only these amazing people, these champions for goodwill could be seen as global ambassadors the uninspired would be able to see each other through very different eyes. I do believe unconditionally, perspective is everything.
I have watched some icons of this world walk away, around or into these beacons of joy while mocking them for their lack of. Lack of money, work, words, skill, ability. Yet this beautiful sea of smiles and hugs sees past that hurt and anger, embracing everyone they can. It is not that these people don't know that others are being mean, it is that it doesn't really matter. Though they might experience hurt feelings it often quickly dissolves any cruelty intended by giving back something that frankly, others don't deserve. This unified team operates out of grace and mercy.
This world peace happened in LA of all places. Riddled with crime, history, gang violence and tragedy a fresh wind momentarily cleared the smog. Who would have thought that was possible. It happened at the 2015 Special Olympics World Games. There were 7000 athletes from 170 countries with 30,000 volunteers and twice as many supporters. And there was joy. While I was whining about the heat and long lines, they stood patiently. While I wanted to sit down they waited full of excitement, in the presence of their friends, whether they knew them or not. I blamed, slurred, criticized while my son stood quietly. I apologized and he forgave me. "It's alright mom, I love you!" I scanned the crowd and it was evident, if anyone was cranky it was not the athletes or their peers. He reached up, hugged me and reassured me, it would be alright if I just take a deep breath and count to ten. I sighed deeply and knew he was right.
I met large groups gathering for the games in two of the host cities, our group entertained them with dance. The teams danced with us or stood by us or held our hands or sat near us. They celebrated, they smiled, laughed, hugged, helped each other though complete strangers. They spoke different languages, had varied abilities or ‘difabilities’ as our friend Tim Shriver says. World peace happened at the games and I am still full of humility and tears. It was a glimpse of what I think God intended when he put humans on the planet and I wait with anticipation to live in that state of joy again. I am certain God smiled at this international love fest at the games.
I have been that mom who wants to tell anyone who will listen everything her son has accomplished. I have even spent money to have the first two years of my sons life moved from VHS to digital and I discovered the most remarkable thing. What I saw, what I now realize I forced my loved ones to endure.....nothing. Hours of an adorable baby dressed in a variety of adorable clothes doing absolutely nothing. But wow he sure could do it well, smiling the entire time. Now as an adult he has eclipsed my wildest dreams and made me incredibly proud every day. He is my world peace. He demonstrates everyday the patience, kindness, charity and joy that I saw at those games. I stand in awe at times that I get to be his mom.
He has been surrounded by amazing family, friends, teachers, mentors and absolute strangers who have watched him grow, who see his actions, who admire his kindness. When I was surrounded by all of those glowing faces it became clear that world peace can happen. I saw it first hand with a stadium full of people who looked at others as if they all matter. There was competition, there were winners and losers, but there were only cheers for friends whether they won or lost. It simply didn’t matter. I would give anything to see that again. And because I saw it once I have a dream, a hope that I will see it again.
jlg 11/26/18 (c) submitted University of Oxford
