Sunshine in a Bottle

I love this kid...., uh, MAN! Who let him grow up anyway. He brings a smile and warm spirit everywhere he goes. He blushes and gets so excited when there is good news. He is quiet and holds a hand when there is something serious. He is perceptive of the temperature in the room and the activity happening all around him. He misses NOTHING! He forgets NOTHING! He has unconditional, genuine, compassionate, steadfast love. Oh how I wish that could be bottled up and given out for Christmas. What a world we would have.

I gush a lot about our son, which if you have read any of this blog you will acknowledge is true. But there is something about him that is the best of gifts. I reflect about the day we had him, totally unaware of the extra chromosome he had and unprepared for a different life journey. It didn't matter to us. As a matter of fact, his father went straight to the library to learn what he needed to know to make a great start, no hesitation. We stood tall and were ready for the road ahead. But others, not so confident, or comfortable with the things that were different.

Comments were made that still ring in my memory. Who would find this life less than desirable, less than 'ideal'? Well I could tell you a few who did. And who would be uncomfortable with his diffabilities, his appearance? I can tell you who they were too. But those that stayed for the adventure and those that joined our forever family, they have been privileged to observe and reap the reward that is Cody. He has his grumpy moments, but they are precious few and far apart. As a matter of fact he has to remind me to take a deep breath, count to ten and stop talking loudly to other drivers on the road. Apparently they can't hear me anyway.

His way is calm, patient, forgiving. He would never intentionally hurt anyone, but he would definitely hug them, remind them he loves them and that it will all be okay. He is the nicest person I have ever met. And he is witty, quick to tell some jokes and have a good laugh. He is teased mercilessly by his mom (yes and I can't stop) and he laughs every time to make me feel good. LOL

He sings continuously, cheers on his favorite superheroes at top volume and plays a variety of instruments homemade and store bought. For hours! His imagination is constantly churning out new inventions and costumes with details. And everyday he adds more details. Most of them are puppets that he can make talk. They are very clever. He can describe them in great detail from their appearance to their personality.

He prays. We call him preacher and I believe he is a Pentecostal or at least charismatic. He can give a  great sermon and pray for the whole world in the course of a single session. It is wonderful. The longer he goes the more you hear his heart passionately intercede for those in need. It is a beautiful thing. He is a great example.

So today is Christmas. We made a zillion pit stops over the last four days. He was with me when I bought most of his gifts yet he pretended to be surprised. "You were with me, remember?" "I know mom!" LOL He plays Santa so he can hand out the gifts and make everyone happy. He cleans up, which he does daily, but wrappings and boxes. All of it.

So here I have this amazing son, my greatest gift, and today I celebrate his contribution to the family, our friends and the world! I feel sad for those who have chosen not to walk with us because their measure of what has value or meaning is skewed. They have missed a tremendous adventure, a silly and playful life. They have missed being touched by Sunshine in a Bottle!

Love the One You're With

That's right, love the one you're with. That sounds simple enough. But quite frequently we are tempted, whether by some emotional bent or visual eye candy, to seek the one .....over there. What is that? My thoughts on the topic are below, obviously, it's a blog.

1. You SEE someone who looks/acts/has something you want or that has appeal. They are popular, have money, affluent lifestyle, party life, possessions, etc. The appearance is they have 'it'! They may seem to navigate life well, but what is it that you don't see? Is the camera-ready life of the party there when the night is over and the guests go home? Do they have the same attitude, personality, interest in others when they are not on stage? Do they invest in others? I would wager my salary the answer is no!

2. You MISS someone you lost. There is a gaping hole that no amount of putty will fill. Your idea, theirs or God's they are no longer in your world. The story that was being written is abruptly ended, dreams have died, you are no longer living that life. It is a death in all cases. You have no control over the void. There is grieving and sorrow and longing. Do they care/notice/long for you? Again, if this is the scenario that answer is no!

3. You DREAM of the 'idea' of people............hey, they aren't real, they don't exist. That idea of a spouse, friend, sibling, child, partner is not real. It is an image or idea you have about what you 'think' is right, what you 'think' is perfect, but indeed they are not real. No one exists who lives up to the dream, that imaginary friend you have in your head. NOT REAL.

I think at the holidays this is magnified as you are painfully aware of the hole in your heart, that missing slide in the projector. For me it is often what I think is important for my son, what is he missing, what has been lost, what is important to him. I am reminded of a few things that not only help me when I ache for him but I apply them to my life as well.

1. Whose in the room/your life/your story on a daily basis. Who is next to you when times are good or horrible or terrifying. That is who you love.

2. Who wants to be with you and wants you with them? That is the one who has your back, is your cheerleader, your comforter, your friend, your family. That is who you love.

3. Who knows you, your dreams and loves you anyway, unconditionally present, judgements removed. That is who you love.

Our very sensitive son has lost people in his life and it has been difficult for him to understand. He used to wait for those missing people to return, but as he has grown he has demonstrated love of those in his  world each day or better TODAY. He doesn't miss a beat. He says 'It's ok mom, I love you!" just because he wants you to know. And when he goes to program, he walks in the room and hugs/high-fives/hand slaps each person. He values those right there in the room, those are his friends, his family. He is full of joy in the moment. As I watch him he does this no matter where he is and every time he changes groups. He is a lover and he spends his day, loving the one he's with. So I see that the lesson is rather than focusing on what/who was, what/who isn't or what/who is only smoke and mirrors, why not celebrate the love of the one you're with.

It's Coming!

Don't you want to know what's coming? Me too! I know I am writing this so you would expect me to know what's coming, right? But I don't. I know there are several, or 100's of things coming that might bring great anticipation and 'it' is different for everyone. What I DO know is that I am excited it's coming and I can't wait some days. So here are a few things that are on my list of coming events, just don't know the details.

Christmas, but that was easy. I love Christmas not at all for what I get but for what comes with it. Christ's birthday, the best gift ever and really the only one we need! Because of that gift we get to share joy, love, food, hugs, gifts, songs, clothes, a warm home, a listening ear, a tear, a laugh and so much more. And when we open up to that giving spirit we GET so much more and it is never what we expect. It's always a surprise.

The New Year, God willing. And it tends to bring lots of surprises like lists of unmet resolutions, babies, weddings, change, deaths, illness, friendships, bad haircuts, new teeth, you know. The list is just endless. Every day an adventure! Yes I really do talk like this. Ask my employees. In good or bad, for better or worse, in all things there is mystery, uncertainty and growth. With each event, small or catastrophic we are given the opportunity to learn something, gain wisdom and share forward the lessons learned. I never know what that will be and I can confidently say it is rarely what I expect. It's coming.

Peace! That is always the most important thing. It comes to calm the slightest whisper of anxiety and it fills me up as I reflect on a life well lived. Waking up, unafraid , reminded of the gift of another day. Walking along the sidewalk knowing I am not alone when I fall, and I have, twice! Waiting for news and making decisions, trusting I have the best Counselor. Closing my eyes knowing that whether they open again or not, I am either here or HOME! It will come at the most desperate times and the most content. It is the calm that speaks softly, is full of truth not fear. It is the smile that sneaks up on my face or the sigh that comes from feeling gratitude. Awesome!

So basically, we will know it when we see it. It's coming! Be sure you are ready to embrace it and live with purpose. When you do you will always find each day a surprise, an adventure waiting for you!