An Inspirational Story from Noah's Dad

From Gold Chain to Seminary Degree

Happy Nurses Day

I felt inspired by my extended family of nurses and healthcare providers so I wrote this verse. Enjoy!

BECAUSE by Judy Gates (c)

Because you care
Because you work hard
Because you are patient
Because you want to make a difference
Because you take any challenge
Because you want to learn more
Because you are passionate
Because you are committed
Nurses learn
Patients are safer
Because of you!


Have a glorious nurses day and week.

*For those of you who are not in the profession, I bet you know someone who is. Let them know you appreciate them for ridiculous hours, tolerance of every human behavior, unpredictable work loads, enforced flexibility and enduring every single human emotion each day they choose to don their uniform and focus on the needs of others!

Amazing Brother

So I have this amazing brother. He is not perfect, just to be clear, being human and all. But he is loyal, honest, compassionate, dependable, funny, adventurous, a giant kid and all around the best brother ever. He just had a birthday, a big one!! Not the one that makes you legal to vote, drink or run for president. Not the one where you get black candles, lots of jokes or waterproof unders. No this was much bigger, SS kind.

He is going to have the option to work or not, put up with buerocracy or not, play golf or not. Great times ahead as he now can clutter his calendar with things he WANTS to do as opposed to being told to do. Awesome. I actually already have a list of things I want to do but am so young I am no where near being able to do them. This will be his starter list. After all, he will have loads of time to do all kinds of things when he decides it is the 'last' day. Sweet!

He can enjoy babies ( his and theirs) and hunt down family history, take four million more pictures we will never be able to organize, visit family (me, me, me) and travel around the globe. Maybe volunteer, so many great things to help with. Perhaps take up hiking, well after he has his hips and knees done. And painting, a peaceful thing he can do along with Bob Ross as he speaks so softly that your brook and trees are happy or have become Chinese New .year symbols if you drift off mid-episode. That's alright, you can watch them over and over.

I can't wait to see what he does on his next great adventure but I hope it is a blast and brings him joy. I had a great family growing up and I am so grateful we remain close today. Happy Birthday Big Brother!! Love you always.

Helping Build Community

Every year Special Olympics works diligently to raise awareness of the great benefits to including and supporting those with special needs. We look at diffabilities rather than disabilities. And Unified Sports has further advanced the message that we are all in this together. We are community. This year   Make your gifts count! Buy Play Unified clothes, sporting gear and more. You will be getting a great item AND supporting Special Olympics!! Thank you so much for making a difference!!

Click here to see all the great stuff!!  Play Unified

It's time to consider - Do you have Celiac Disease?

Celiac Disease

This is a fantastic new resource with video, symptom checklist assessment  and the Do's and Don'ts for wellness! Check it out, share it forward, and take control of your health!!

You may not realize but it ALL matters

Every day I hear folks talk about the lack of fruit they see from their lives. They don't think what they say or do matters. But the truth is it ALL matters. You are the seed and the water or you are the weeds. The work and words you pour out each moment have a lasting effect. They will nourish life or choke it out. This is a beautiful example of human kindness, and the impact from someone years earlier still influencing a lovely young woman. Thanks to my friend Claire who has always found a garden of love to share. Enjoy!

Claire's One Last Post While She's Still a Kid

The Mercy House

To the Monica's of the World.... You are Not Forgotten

Forgiveness ....... Conversation of the week!

Relationship issues all week for my team and some of my friends. All kinds of nastiness, mean words, cruel and lasting insults damaging the heart of some of my strongest folks. While forgiveness is a hot topic, it is clear that there is some gray (grey) area. In order to exercise true forgiveness you have to define what it is and what it is not! Ego and emotion aside here is my take on the subject.


It is a decision, of will or mind, not emotion. It is an intentional choice to obey God. It is separate from the individual who has committed the offense. Whether they repent, want to reconcile or not, it is ours to give. It requires us to move on. With or without the relationship. We have to choose peace and purpose rather than contention that can lead us to sin or be a stumbling block for them.

To forgive is to forget! Uh, no! In order to learn from the past, the experiences of any kind need to remain in the mental 'file'. We may need to let go of the emotions, hurt or disappointment, but we would be remiss to try to wipe clean the memories of the past. It is imperative to take captive every thought in order to prevent reopening those feelings or wounds that would lead us to anger or hate. Should we face the source of our pain or suffering, we need to be in control of the memories that could fan the flames! It requires us to be purposeful in our actions and words.

Forgiveness won't stop the memory of pain! God has promised that He sees and that He will wipe away each tear. But it should mean that we are free of the bitterness or anger that leads to hate. Forgiving is not releasing the offender from the consequences of their actions. It is not excusing or dismissing behavior. People make choices and must be responsible for the fall out. Much like traffic violations, one must be accountable to accept they chose to run the red light, so to speak. As humans, we will make mistakes. But in order to grow we have to step up, own our mistakes, seek reconciliation and change! We should forget what is behind and strive toward what is ahead. Philippians 3.13

Forgiveness is not laughing it off. Minimizing hurt or denying it lives does not erase it. We can't ignore the feelings, as it would be a lie to say they 're not there which runs us into all kinds of trouble. Forgiveness involves not holding a sin (grudge) against a person any longer. But that said, it is different from trust. It is wise to take precautions, and sometimes the dynamics of a relationship will have to change. “The prudent see danger and take refuge, / but the simple keep going and pay the penalty” Proverbs 22.3 In other words, you won't keep walking into the situation expecting different results unless there is evidence God has changed hearts.

Forgiveness means being on guard so that we don't  allow be a root of bitterness to come springing up in our hearts. We must be 'shrewd as snakes and innocent as doves'. So we may forgive but we must be cautious in future encounters should they occur. Only God changes hearts. Until an offender has a true, supernatural change of heart it is only wise to limit the level of trust one places in that person or relationship. Being cautious doesn’t mean we haven’t forgiven. It simply means we are not God and we cannot see that person’s heart. It may be that separation with forgiveness is the answer.

This is difficult for many who feel we all need to be holding hands and singing world peace songs from the 70's. It is definitely a two way issue and requires a two way response, God in the center. If both are not seeking and serving Christ, it is unlikely true reconciliation can happen. Peace may come with time, distance and prayer. Waiting on God is the only sustainable solution. And that's ok because God is able. 

Where Hope Grows

Where Hope Grows

Maybe not.....

"Mom I can't wait until next year to go back to Kellis with my friends. They miss me!" And he misses them desperately at times. I see or hear more since the Friendship walk. He misses his brothers and prom date. He thinks if he would visit Kellis they would all be there.

How do you help him understand he will never go back to high school?
How can I help him understand they are graduating and moving on too?

As an only child we have always kept him plugged into groups or activities where he would build friendships. And he has, a zillion acquaintances and several great friends. But his heart aches a bit for that gang of friends he saw five days a week. My heart hurts for him as I try to sound excited about growing up, moving on, keeping in touch at social gatherings. Then it dawns on me, that this is that unfortunate course of life that has left me with the same longing at different stages of my life. I didn't like it either sometimes mourning the loss for some time.

It was my last post, where I felt the 'ouch' in change. I thought he had escaped unscathed but perhaps not. I have seen social circles change in my life as I changed schools, churches, entered relationships, got married, gained new neighbors, added more members to our groups. You become less relevant, moved down the preference list, don't fit the feel or look of the group. I have weathered this time and again as part of life, perhaps Gods way of moving me in a new direction. But it can and has carried a price.

So here is my amazing, charismatic, joyful, loving, happy man feeling alone and a bit lost without his friends. We have activities coming up again, but what do I do for the here and now? He had my iPad today and wrote notes. One wrote back, dependable and true. He stared at the iPad for some time. So I put it away. We are going to check tomorrow.

Thing is, even if we have our get togethers or they write back, how do I help him move on? Or do I let him grieve awhile? My protective mothers heart wants to prevent his suffering but I know it is also a part of life. It is the part I dislike. I have worked diligently for 18 years to keep him protected, surrounded by good people, happy! And he is warming up to his new environment but he has not found that friend, that one that is your pal you bum around with.
Oh I pray he finds that friend or two that will make him feel excited, happy, connected.

In the meantime I hope God will move mountains to unite The Brothers and The Prom Date just long enough to fill his sad heart with contentment and peace.

Reflections

With the New Year has come some reflection on what matters most, what disappoints most and what needs to be moved down the list. This has been a long process but for the first time in a very long time, I have the mental energy to 'pay attention' to the things passing before my eyes so to speak. Some of it is not new while some is revelation in real time.

Friends, I love my friends! But much like days gone by, I realize I have been blinded by my loyal 'forever friends' mentality even when it is not truly shared. Maya Angelou said 'Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option!' Ouch!! I have shared my wisdom with friends and family on the things I have learned from life and yet I am back at this lesson again. I never want to see the motivation of others. I assume they are like me, forever friends or family. Sadly, I SAW some reality this weekend. It kind of hurts, but like some of my relationships from the past, I have to move some folks down the list of priority.

In one circle of long term friends I discovered I suddenly was on the outside. I know it is not intentional, but it is the sands of time that have shifted their priorities and loyalties. The group photo was happening even though we were not in place, which sadder still meant my dear son is now on the outside as well. We are 'history', no longer a part of the things they have in their immediate view.
As I watched the scene, I could see that he sensed it too. He sat at the end, leaned away. He is growing up and has made some new friends, has different things to do. He did not seem too bothered, but also did not desire to stay. Hmmmm. He was happy to say hi to his besties, but as they were pulled aside for other things he was left alone. On a positive note he seemed okay to move on.

I must follow his lead and move on. As a matter of fact, at one defining moment I saw a mom rush to 'beat us to the punch' when we really were not planning to get in the ring. Its a long story. We watched and saw new friendships blooming and we clearly were no longer in the garden.

This sounds sad, and in my current state of mourning it is, but, I also now feel some freedom to step back letting them go so I can focus on those who are still in it for the long haul. That number is much smaller. It is in that number that I find true give and take relationships. It is not all about what they want, need, like, want you to do for them but it is equal in partnership.

We have been rejected and ostracized in the past which at times very confusing and painful to our son. People you would not expect to cast you aside. Probably why this community seemed so perfect for us. We felt certain of our place in the group and even more positive we would always fit in. And for that season we did. We are not outcast in this present situation but simply have become part of the past. We are not relevant. So now I must face the day anew recognizing these new truths and step back from the group to see if it is going to remain a part of our future.

Hard words, tough choices, but in the end positive balance! I have the fondest memories and will treasure them always. I might find a surprise in the journey but for now I can say 'it was a great ride' and prepare for our next great adventure!