The Joy of Parenthood 101
Many couples find that once children arrive it is the end to life as they know it. That is not a bad thing, as the little bundle of joy bring hours of entertainment. You know this to be true as you have been sent or have yourself sent out 100's of pictures of a child doing absolutely nothing but lying on a blanket dressed in different outfits with matching toys. What disappears in this new adventure is the parents freedom. Date night, the ability to read a book undisturbed or to nap freely in the TV room, vanished like the Tasmanian Emu. No longer can you leave your best jewelry lying around or walk around in your skivvies.
One couple thought they had it all together. They had figured out the way to have their cake and eat it too. BUT they had failed to predict where they would be eating that cake and whether or not it would be covered by their health plan.
Mom had desperately missed her ladies club and talking to grown ups. Supposedly they met to play cards, at least that is the story they are sticking with. Whatever it was, it started at supper time and went into the wee hours of the night. Dad, in an effort to support his wife and ultimately earn his night out agreed to babysit the darling 2 year old girl. After all what harm could she do. She would eat dinner, and go to bed by 7. It would be hours of freedom to watch TV, scratch those places no one wants to see and nap with reckless abandon.
He tucked his little beauty in bed after a dramatic reading of Goodnight Mr. Moon. He quickly set up his snacks and stretched out on the couch for some peace and quiet and late night TV. A long sigh later and he was history. Out like a 90 year old in the dining hall. That is when the crash occurred. He sat upright, wiping the drool off his chin trying to figure out where in the world he was. Then he heard more noise, it was coming from the hallway.
He flew off the couch turning over his TV tray full of goodies and ran toward his little angels room. What terror could be happening, why wasn't he there to watch her sleep and protect her?As he rounded the corner another loud noise occurred. It was coming out of the bathroom. He swung the door open and discovered the source. Precious was there, standing tall on the bathroom sink with an array of pill bottles and makeup lying all over the counter and floor.
"What are you doing? Naughty Girl!" In her hand was an empty bottle of orange chewable aspirin. His eyes scanned the sink and floor. There were no pills lying anywhere. The little girl looked at here dad and asked for more "candy". Dad thought he wanted to choke the numb skull who invented candy flavored medication, clearly NOT a parent he determined.
In a time when pagers and cell phones did not exist, he had no way of getting hold of the person he really wanted to strangle, MOM. He decided he must rush his darling girl to the hospital and so he did, empty bottle in hand. The hospital was ready, a dozen hands yanked the little girl into an exam room and began pumping her stomach. After a lot of screaming and thrashing and kicking of the nurses, it was determined she would need to stay overnight. She should recover well and would go home in the morning.
Mom arrived home to an empty house and saw the mess in the bathroom. Putting two and two together she went to the hospital. When she found Dad and baby girl sleeping in a room, she woke him to hear the entire story. As the story unfolded she had to decide whether or not to interject a tiny factoid into the event. Deciding honesty is best, she informed the exhausted, emotionally spent dad that the bottle he found had been in the trash. It was empty already and the little explorer must have been looking for more. Hmmmm
This would be the first of a lifetime of crisis for this happy family. They would not have the tools of parenthood we take for granted today such as monitors, cabinet locks, cell phones and a 1- 800 poison control number. They would manage to raise the little lady to adulthood despite her many escapades to follow. And she would eventually go into nursing as it was what she knew best. From a young age, she knew what it took to be a nurse as she had tested many to their very core. She is me and as it turns out no one knows health care better than someone who has spent more time in the system then out. So, thanks mom and dad for always knowing the nearest hospital and best docs in town.
One couple thought they had it all together. They had figured out the way to have their cake and eat it too. BUT they had failed to predict where they would be eating that cake and whether or not it would be covered by their health plan.
Mom had desperately missed her ladies club and talking to grown ups. Supposedly they met to play cards, at least that is the story they are sticking with. Whatever it was, it started at supper time and went into the wee hours of the night. Dad, in an effort to support his wife and ultimately earn his night out agreed to babysit the darling 2 year old girl. After all what harm could she do. She would eat dinner, and go to bed by 7. It would be hours of freedom to watch TV, scratch those places no one wants to see and nap with reckless abandon.
He tucked his little beauty in bed after a dramatic reading of Goodnight Mr. Moon. He quickly set up his snacks and stretched out on the couch for some peace and quiet and late night TV. A long sigh later and he was history. Out like a 90 year old in the dining hall. That is when the crash occurred. He sat upright, wiping the drool off his chin trying to figure out where in the world he was. Then he heard more noise, it was coming from the hallway.
He flew off the couch turning over his TV tray full of goodies and ran toward his little angels room. What terror could be happening, why wasn't he there to watch her sleep and protect her?As he rounded the corner another loud noise occurred. It was coming out of the bathroom. He swung the door open and discovered the source. Precious was there, standing tall on the bathroom sink with an array of pill bottles and makeup lying all over the counter and floor.
"What are you doing? Naughty Girl!" In her hand was an empty bottle of orange chewable aspirin. His eyes scanned the sink and floor. There were no pills lying anywhere. The little girl looked at here dad and asked for more "candy". Dad thought he wanted to choke the numb skull who invented candy flavored medication, clearly NOT a parent he determined.
In a time when pagers and cell phones did not exist, he had no way of getting hold of the person he really wanted to strangle, MOM. He decided he must rush his darling girl to the hospital and so he did, empty bottle in hand. The hospital was ready, a dozen hands yanked the little girl into an exam room and began pumping her stomach. After a lot of screaming and thrashing and kicking of the nurses, it was determined she would need to stay overnight. She should recover well and would go home in the morning.
Mom arrived home to an empty house and saw the mess in the bathroom. Putting two and two together she went to the hospital. When she found Dad and baby girl sleeping in a room, she woke him to hear the entire story. As the story unfolded she had to decide whether or not to interject a tiny factoid into the event. Deciding honesty is best, she informed the exhausted, emotionally spent dad that the bottle he found had been in the trash. It was empty already and the little explorer must have been looking for more. Hmmmm
This would be the first of a lifetime of crisis for this happy family. They would not have the tools of parenthood we take for granted today such as monitors, cabinet locks, cell phones and a 1- 800 poison control number. They would manage to raise the little lady to adulthood despite her many escapades to follow. And she would eventually go into nursing as it was what she knew best. From a young age, she knew what it took to be a nurse as she had tested many to their very core. She is me and as it turns out no one knows health care better than someone who has spent more time in the system then out. So, thanks mom and dad for always knowing the nearest hospital and best docs in town.
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