December Commotion

There are only 24 hours to any day, or so I have been told. But I am convinced that I have been going  at a bit of an extended 'mean' time. ....i.e. I think my clock is perhaps accelerated or extended or spinning out of control. And I LOVE that. I do! It is a sickness. I might have ADD and it is my way of masking with the continuous motion from one task to the next. OR, it might be that despite my countless time management classes and lectures which I have delivered are not being applied by, ah, me! OR it could be that we are just having fun doing......doing....doing. AND now that we KNOW the Mayans were wrong about the end of the world we can reflect on the good days and plan for the future, right?

The fall semester ended with a potluck and many gift exchanges. Cody had a great semester and was able to do many fun and new things. Christmas gift.....new/better camera that will be used when supervised:-) but to improve his photography. He is already amazing. Always centered, well lit, perfect!

The Nutcracker Ballet consumed the last couple of weeks. Practices on weekends then during the week then the show, two nights at the Orpheum in Phoenix. First, Miss Caroline Atkinson. I am so amazed by her stamina and passion, and constantly grateful to know her, let alone call her friend. Second, more than 100 kids and adults in the production with a multitude of gifts and abilities. Third a treasure chest full of New York Ballet costumes and many adaptations that gave us the most stunning cast. Fourth a house full of enthusiastic patrons who were equally amazed by what they saw. An incredible, unforgettable, life changing moment.

Christmas. WHAT? It is Christmas already. I am NOT prepared. I will apologize now for not having my cards done yet. Count on New Years. Sorry friends and family. And don't get too jiggy waiting for gifts either. Some of you are lucky, some of you are waiting........don't give up. I will get them out in the mail the next business day..............right?

My beautiful neighbors added to my guilt by showering us with baked goods. When I told them of my challenges this past month they were most supportive. Of course that was after I promised a treat for New Years.....hmmmmm. It is a great place to be.

Finally we finished our weeks of dancing, acting, changing andwaiting with a position as the volunteer assistance in the 1st and 2nd grade class for Christmas Eve services. Other than losing one (not) we did not have too much  trouble. The church looks beautiful and the train in the children's ministry is awesome. So cool. Anyway, it is a perfect scene with children chasing the train, singing carols and learning about the reason for it all..................... Jesus, in case you aren't sure. :-)

 

When I think about all the preparation and planning and stress, I am reminded that it is the very simple things that bring the greatest joy! Or at least it should be. You see, while Cody LOVED all the decorations and all of his gifts very much, he was most excited for the tape and pipe cleaners for his 'inventions'. There is never enough tape in this house. So I guess the question is, what did it take for you to enjoy the holiday? Did you need lots of things to help you 'enjoy' or was it the very simple things that made the day special? I hope that as another year begins that the very simple, quiet, easy things will bring the greatest joy to you!

The Race

As life has continued, the race is in high speed. There is a blend of sadness, anxiety, pressure, excitement and anticipation. Moving from the end of one life to the beginning of another we welcomed a two new ones. Our great niece, Ruby Maye, was born very early at a whopping 2 1/2 pounds. She is doing well, adorable, TINY so it will be a bit before her family can welcome her home. Thankful for great medical care and miracles!

We also have a new cousin, Norah. She is lovely and her family is glowing. And if that was not enough, I have another great "someone' due in the spring. I am giddy! It is a great reminder of the hand of God in our lives, and for me the prevailing joy that comes with every new life. I am so grateful for new life as I am reminded that God not only knows each one before they arrive but HE, God Almighty, knits them together 'creates' them one by one.

Christmas, a time of celebration and gratitude. Oh, and then every single social event of the year. That being said most of them fell on one day.....last Saturday. SO, first it was the Sharing Down Syndrome Christmas Party. We had a great time helping to set up the digs and watch the children play. What fun. Santa and his elves came as well which was great. When asked what he wanted for Christmas, Cody, after a few moments of thought said "Everything! Or Anything!" Santa let him know he had 'that' in hanger 5. Ha. I guess the good thing is I can not go wrong. Good to know.

Then we had the Sugar Plum Fairy Tea. Our cousins Lizzie and Stephie (and mom Suzy) bought our tickets. THANKS GIRLS! This was a super celebration and fundraiser for the Nutcracker Ballet. Dancing, with karaoke. Several minutes into the entertainment they were looking for Cody to dance. They had not realized the DJ'ing was none other than Master Gates. "You rock it, let's rock it. You can dance. Woohoo! YMCA.....YMCA..everybody...!" He did not miss a beat. Spent most of the party in his new work. Them of course, Santa showed up. Guess what, he wants 'everything!' Crack me up.

   

Well we finished off with the Best Buddy Prom. Cody's beautiful best buddy, Alexandra, asked him to prom. So excited!!!!! So we stopped at Basha's grocery store to change in the restroom as it was on the way (clean as a whistle by the way). I nearly fainted. He is so handsome! First suit. First tied tie. First dance. First prom. Mama's using tissue and sleeves to catch tears. He is a hottie too in his suit. He picked out some flowers for his date. We then went to pick her up. Stunning, beautiful, tall! He was Mister Manners all the way. I am so proud.

We met his girlfriend Andi and her mom Linda at Durant's for a super fancy supper. And it was AWESOME! We really enjoyed a great visit and incredible food. Off to the dance, a pirate theme 'Dance your Bootie Off' was at the Renaissance hotel. Beautiful. Packed. He walked in the door and I was NO MORE. What I am saying is he was in the pack, with tons of friends, dancing with Alexandra and Andi and jumping into every conga line that went by. I am guessing he was thinking
"What mom? I have a mom? Who is that taking all those pictures anyway?" Who knew. I was demoted to the parent club; those of us trying to keep an eye on our kids, talk without saying 'What?' and trying to hip hop so we would look cool. Good times. Some of his classmates nominated him for Prom King. His name was not drawn but fun to know they would submit his name. We finished the night with dessert at the Cheesecake Factory. We were home by 11......and I am going to say it, but you may not repeat it, I am TOO OLD for this. Ha.

So all of that and still business happening as we practice long hours getting ready for The  Nutcracker at the Orpheum December 22 and 23. Check out Ballet Academy of Arizona website for video clips of some fundraising performance this past month (Night the Light and Special Olympics). Cody did very well. He really is getting into performing. I am also going to be in the ballet as a party parent in scene one. We are looking forward to the performance. Hope you can join us. It is always entertaining as it is NEVER the same twice as it is totally UNPREDICTABLE because ...... well.....kids will be kids:-)

Then there is Christmas. A big deal, Jesus birthday and all. The most important thing is 'the gift'. Understanding the gift. If you have not found that gift yet then you are missing Christmas all together. You can get or give a package wrapped in paper anytime, not just tied to a holiday. You can live with those gifts, or without them. You can re-gift them, toss them or return them. They are things. But THE greatest gift is Jesus Christ. He came to redeem the world. He took all of our punishment and was sentenced to death, He paid it all. He bought what no man could buy, with his life. Whether it is on Christmas day or not, what will you do with that gift?

Change in Course

One never knows exactly where time or life will take them. It is a mystery in almost every way. Some things are somewhat predictable though the details remain clouded until the right time. I am actually grateful for that as if we knew all of the facts in advance it may drive us away from rather than through the storms. 
Yesterday we buried our father. An honorable man, honest, gentle and kind. A "perfect gentleman" as reported by many of his co-workers who wrote about him this past week.

Following his hip fracture and repair he seemed to be doing well, but suffered an apparent stroke that led to the rapid spiral downward. Throughout his life he had a sense of humor and tolerance for any situation. He never complained. And this was the case even as his abilities became more limited including speech. Rarely opening his eyes, he would grunt when you asked him a questions. "Dale, are you hungry?" "Dale, do you want soup?" "Dale, do you want potatoes?" Grunt, that was difficult to distinguish between yes and no. "Dale, do you want a hot dog?" Grunt....only with a fluctuation in tone. "How many?" Two fingers go up. Two hot dogs. Can't open his eyes or give us a solid yes or no, but he wants his very favorite food. I was able to feed him his last hot dog dinner. He ate every bite.

With the change to his condition my family began to travel in to see him. The leader of our family and our wise counselor throughout our lives was now reduced to a grunt and maybe a nod. By his nod or tight grasp of the hand we knew he was aware of our presence even if we could not get other acknowledgments. His delightful memory care director Sara or 'boss' as he so often referred to her, along with his favorite visitor Pam and pet therapy dog Emily were able to come and feed him his favorite chocolate pudding the night before he passed.

It would be the next morning we got 'the call' that his condition had changed. I was at the far corners of the earth or at least valley as it would happen. Mom was at the hairdresser and my sister and her husband were at the hotel. Sure. I headed back with the plan to pic up mom. Linda and Homer headed up to his room. My mom knew the moment I arrived it was dad. We gathered at his side. Certainly he was on the road home. Not what we had hoped for six weeks ago when he entered rehab. Not where we thought we would be two years ago when he had his stroke. Definitely not what we expected five years ago when they moved to Arizona. When reflecting on the past several years, a definite change in course from where we started, from the vision we had, from the list of what we expected. It is not that it is completely bad, just very unexpected.

After a time together I sent my family and mother away while I took the first watch. I sent a few emails to work so they would know where I was. The room was quiet, no good noise. Then I remembered I had a Christmas CD on my iPad. I told my dad I would play that as it is beautiful music. I turned it on. immediately he relaxed, breathing easier, smoother. The hospice social worker arrived. I placed my hand on his arm. The second song, O Come All Ye Faithful began. Before that classic first invitational line completed, my father passed. No struggle, no signs of pain, no fear. Quiet, peaceful, sleep. Wonderful!

                                               Oh Come All Ye Faithful by Casting Crowns

Not what I envisioned. Not how I had planned. Not what I have seen dozens of times before. A different experience. Unexpected yet pleasantly surprised. The social worker even commented that she never sees this smooth transition or 'takeoff'. I sat there for some time, sad yet relieved. He died as he lived, without a battle. He was not afraid. He had a change in course, he was now home. Eternally safe, sound, happy, healed, rejoicing, celebrating with angels. Home! As in the song by Chris Tomlin I Willl Rise he is hearing the voices of many angels and longing hearts singing. He had great joy in the here and now, but he was waiting, ready for a change in course. In a way, his journey has just begun!

                                                            Lt Col Dale E Jackson (Ret)

A Chink in the Armour.

I am not really sure where to begin or what focus to have. As you are well aware it has been a few weeks since the last post. I thought I had done one.....CLEARLY not my best month for organization and control. I am completely OUT of control of.......................life! Who knew.

Parent One: ER for chest pain and new diagnosis of heart problems.
Parent Two: Fell and fractured hip requiring surgery.
Parent One: Fell and fractured wrist requiring a splint.
Parent Two: Slow to get moving and a bit more confused.
Parent One: Slow to get moving and a bit more confused.

HMMM, I believe I am seeing a pattern. Like the great big afghan of life (that one is for mom), there seems to be a familiar zig then zag in this phase of life. Terrible to watch and beginning to seep into the cracks in my armour. I am more fatigued and starting to have EMOTIONS related to this life change I am watching. While I have prided myself on staying 'clinically detached', it is starting to challenge my control of the daily flow as I bridge a full time job, a full time high school student, a husband and two ailing parents at 4 different addresses;-) I can honestly say.,.... I AM TIRED.

It may just be today, but I sense that I may now actually NOT be able to keep my ducks in a row

cover all my bases

meet every ones needs

 satisfy my personal overachieving expectations

Yikes.

This is all quite alarming and forces me to be quite introspective (a large word meaning I have to evaluate/re-evaluate all activity/purpose/meaning to life for the purpose of priority and boundaries). I can clearly see the importance of all these things, and yet I must care for me for me to care for others. My focus will need to be on what is necessary not just necessarily nice. Wow, that will be difficult.

In addition, the course of THIS day has brought a somber reality that parent number two is losing the battle. While the hip fracture was a tremendous blow, things initially looked conservatively optimistic. But over the past three days changes indicate possibly a TIA or new stroke. Activity is profoundly limited and communication is sporadic at best. Not where we were hoping to be.

Parent one is also having more difficulty with daily activities and memory that makes this whole thing even more complex. So today after weeks of hospital hopping, one crisis after another, hoping endlessly for improvement, the word Hospice entered the conversation. I brought it up. It is time.

Hospice of the Valley

The facility they live in can accommodate parent two's needs and support parent one. Hospice can bring in any equipment, assistance, support, etc that is necessary for parent two while keeping everyone comfortable and close. Then it is wait. Weeks or months, never know. But at least we will be waiting in the comfort of 'home', surrounded by familiar faces, places and things. Not medical but comfortable.

 Palos Verdes Senior Living

I am so grateful for the support of family and friends. I usually do not share or indulge great  amounts of news.....this is an  unusual glimpse into this most difficult place. I have confidence, however, that while the days or months ahead may be emotional or sorrowful, Christ has prepared a place for each on and awaits their arrival. AND because I know that I am His, I have a relationship with Him, someday we will all be reunited. That is great comfort. I have seen God's hand on our family over the years and clearly His perfect will is being perfected,

The Promise of Heaven      

Nearing Home: Thoughts on Life, Faith and Finishing Well


All that being said, thank you for prayer. Thank you for patience. Thank you for walking along side me and my family. We are grateful and wait to see where we are in the next chapter of this journey.

NEXT!

So if you  recall, I was ruminating about what is next in the big adventure that is life. I am here to tell you........not what I  planned. That great adventure that is every day, it has arrived and here is what I have 'new' since last we met on my blog.

Best Buddy potluck was a hit on the heels of Homecoming! Mom and Dad enjoyed their son being 16, cool and demonstrating his new found interest in break dancing......ok, I was alarmed and fairly certain we were going to the hospital for a fracture, but we (he) survived without event. He did dance well too. He has it going on. The girls love him, the boys make noises with him. What more can I guy ask for? Great food, great friends. We are so enjoying this time with our forever friends.......it took us forever to get to know them and we will be bonded as friends forever.

I had a birthday. Wonderful day. Oh it did not start out with the appearance of wonderful, but it ended up being that way. You see I started off cranky as we woke up 7 minutes before the bus was to arrive. Now I am good and Cody can be, uh, motivated to move faster, but 7 minutes. I think not! SO I got us both dressed, lunch packed and breakfast to go made and had to take him to school. There I had to wait for the bus to catch up to us and then throw him .....let him out of the car so that I could speed along to work.  There I missed my therapy appointment and my traction. I was really looking forward to getting 'pulled apart' as Cody describes it. Thus I was on time to my first meeting. YEAH! And so the day was off to a grand start. A pot of coffee.....no a spilled pot of coffee, allowed me to clean my entire work space so that I could make a new pot of coffee. And by noon it was work as usual. When my husband asked how my day was going, I reflected that I had not harmed anyone so that was good! The day passed as usual from there with one notable exception. I had dozens of birthday emails, well wishes, jokes, cards, all contributing to a brighter disposition by days end. I actually was laughing at how agitated I had become over something so insignificant as being late as compared a real problem like work hunger. Perspective:-)

When I arrived home I had received flowers, a GREAT stampin gift set, and a handmade Book About Us by Master Cody Gates. Lovely. Oh and I did I mention an iPad!! WooHoo! Love it. I can only do like ten things so far but I am willing to learn. Apple store here I come. Cody makes everyday one to remember. Happy Birthday Mom!

SO the weekend continued to bring  more little celebrations and gifts. I am blessed beyond measure. I spent the weekend shopping, eating, churching, visiting. Good times. The bestest visit was that with old and very dear friends Benjamin and Magdalene Komanapolli. I will always hold these people in my heart. I had the privilege to meet them more than 20 years ago...ok 25 years ago, and stay with them in their home in India. I am so blessed when they come to town. Some of my dear friends joined us at Olive Garden for food and fellowship.

And the weekend came to an end. The big news from Cody was FALL BREAK.  He got to sleep in until 6:30 a.m. and go to UCP all day. LOVED IT. He runs the place or believes he could. And they all treat him pretty special. Great place

Then we arrived at today. Another birthday lunch with dear friend Kelly. We were brought together more than 20 years ago because of bandages. Who knew! Lots of fun. Then the phone rang. Found dad on the floor near but not his wheelchair and unable to move. Two hours later we are in the emergency department,  CT and xrays done and admitted for a fractured hip. He will have surgery tomorrow. Poor daddy. He would tell me it hurts one minute then ask what happened the next. He has the curse or blessing of a very short memory.....depends on which moment we are in which way that goes. Today we have the surgery complete, rod and pins. Now the real work begins!!

So I am preparing for bed and ready to wake up and declare "NEXT!" Let's see what tomorrow will bring as I got a pretty good idea where we ended up as of this point.

What's Next?

Every day is an adventure....essentially.....which should intrigue even the most remotely interested human. There are things we can do with little to no thought. And in the end it comes off without a hitch, well, most of the time. For those times when things DON'T go according to plan (assuming you had one) you are given really two options in life; roll with it or freak out. In my world, my little circle I find rolling with it to be the status quo. No matter what our parents do to us, we go with the flow.

That plan that didn't happen provides hours of fun. For example this could be a great wall ornament, maybe one of those tricky camera shots or it could be evidence of one of those times that, well, had little to no thought. I am just sayin! These, however, are My FAVORITE kind of moments. I would leave it personally, at least long enough to gain attention from the friends and neighbors, possible some free food.

Sometimes there is so little to do that doing nothing with whatever is in reach can yield the best entertainment. I mean it may start out as breakfast or light house cleaning, but what is the fun in that! So a little tape, streamers, marker, food and Voila! A stylish hat that most certainly would have made an I Love Lucy Episode or a wedding 'wish' where a ring should be. Who knew!

In the end I can honestly say I think there is a fine line between having fun and having a full blown breakdown. But on the bright side both can provide a much needed vacation from the insanity that is work, responsibility, pain, frustration, sadness, boredom, lack of craft supplies and the other things that so freely capture the waking moments of any day.  I am always eager to catch a glimpse of those around me taking action to seize the day..............or at least the youngest brother, long enough to show the love!

In retrospect I see those moments in life I captured well and those that would have benefited from far less intensity. Intentional living..........  seeing each second as a chance to engage, improve, enjoy! It allows me to remain positive, hopeful and excited knowing that I am passing through, not a resident but a guest in the land of men. I know I am not perfect but I know I am perfected. Because of that I can wake up in the morning excited to see.....................What's Next? I will let you know!