PART 1: Like Sands thru the Hourglass........

...................these are the days of our lives!

The whirlwind of celebrations and change is unmatched. Our one and only wonderful son (Yes, I am ridiculously biased) went to senior prom, graduated with robust enthusiasm and had a party that was so organic it would be impossible to recreate. So now is where I will begin the entire story. Those of you who are interested get your coffee, tissue and sigh deeply at all the appropriate spots. Those of you who aren't sure, well, you should endure to be polite. And so if I ask you what you thought you wont have to try to fake it.

So a senior that has blossomed into a man, his words not mine. He will always be my baby, to which he says "Don't be silly mom, I'm a man!" Here it is.......

School - It is an incredible program. Not that I expected it to be or believed it would be. I was NOT happy about high school, large schools, buses, 2000 students. Not safe, Not safe Not safe! I was THAT mother, parked across the street for hours, binoculars on, Excedrin and coffee in the car to keep me sharp, awake, READY should my assistance or super hero mom rescue skills be needed. I am, afterall, only one degree away from a Power Ranger. LOL The many elements to this community vision have been promoted, fought for and set into place over the course of years. Campaigns for acceptance, Spread the Word to End the Word, Cougar Camp and so much more are evident throughout the school year. Cody was able to be a part of one of those events in his sophomore year.

Cody Gates reads Its Okay to be Different

And it was perfection for the students this year. The principals, teachers, support staff and student body have emulated a very accepting culture that does not tolerate cruelty, bullying, discrimination. Students care for each other, protect each other, high five and knuckle pump as they pass in the hall. In the course of the four years they have achieved a solid Best Buddy Program, Unified Sports Program and recognition for sports so the athletes can earn the school Letter. Dr. Tim Shriver even paid a visit. So much energy. The Adaptive dance kids were even included in the homecoming festivities dancing at halftime.



Track - I have always said that he is not prone to movement. And that he is the definition of Terra fer ma. So the race is set to begin, the gun fires (yes a loud gun with folks who have sensory issues) and they are off. Well, they start! And it is at the 20 meter mark that the competition enters his peripheral vision. I am thinking to myself, blinders could help, but no! He stops dead in stride. He is done. if he cant be first (in FRONT) he wont 'BE'! Over the next 30 meters or so two coaches, three peer buddies and an assortment of team mates attempted to coax him forward. It took an enormous red bird, yes THE RED Bird from AZ Cardinals to get him moving. He took his hand and ran not only across the finish line but continued on for another 200 meters. Hmmm Well, he had fun, right? And he did it HIS way, as he did the standing long jump. Yes, standing.......or running hopping jump. Run from the start line, into the sand until you get to the spot you like then 'hop' to stick your landing....and throw yourself forward to imply effort. LOL It is all about having fun right?!

Arizona Athletes to Compete in 2014 Special Olympics

Cheer - He has always loved strings, pom poms, streamers. So when he said he was doing cheer I honestly was hoping that he was not going to come home with pom poms or a skirt or a hair bow. I know, I could not envision a 'manly cheer'. It is actually a natural talent for this kid. He is the essence of joy, kindness, compassion, enthusiasm and encouragement. It sounds over the top, but his gift is building others whether in word or deed. He will lift you up, remember your name, give you a hug. He values others as friends for life. I was amazed and PROUD. He not only looked fantastic, but was wonderful! He GETS cheer, it is similar to dance which he loves and he did awesome. It was VERY manly indeed. They won Gold and Silver. I wanted to go straight to a game just to hear him do more. MAYBE I can get him on the squad for Cardinals or Coyotes or United. LOL!



Prom - OK, get the tissue out! Ashley had a plan in place and with the assistance of the Unified class, they set out to help Cody solve the mystery! He played games to win clues, then with everyone watching his beautiful date asked him to the prom. So exciting. It was MY dream come true. When you have a special needs child, or even a typical child who just doesn't quite fit the mold of 'in' to see them embraced by a large group of peers is such an amazing experience. The video of the challenge and her popping the question was put together and set to music. The local news picked it up and then the national media ran a story. ROCK STARS! I played chauffeur taking Cody to pick up his date, go to a photo shoot with some of the other students, put to special dinner then to the dance. I was sent away! No need to come back "I got this" she assured me. She did! One of the chaperone's sent footage of him 'dancing the night away'! I picked them up at midnight and took them home. He looked at me after and said "that is the best night I ever had mom!" I felt exactly the same!!!!

Ashley asks Cody to Prom

Project Unify at Kellis High School Shines

Student with Disabilities gets Awesome Prom Proposal


Prom 2 - YES, TWO proms. The City of Peoria Adaptive rec had a prom the following weekend. His date took him to that one too. It was of course much smaller, quieter, but the kids there had all grown up together for the most part. It was when we had them all up on the stage getting pictures in the balloons it hit me. He is grown up! Oh I know I should have figured it out from all the man hair but it was seeing him with this group of grown children (fine, adults) that I sobbed. And I do mean, needed tissue, boo hoo, I am so proud/sad/old kind of cry. It was a great night once we got back to dancing and of course this time I got to be there too!

Awards - Both before and right after graduation there were awards and recognition for accomplishments. He put on his suit and tie which of course forced me to learn (find the picture guide online) to tie a tie. Without a smart phone it would have been a clip on, that is all I have to say. He even helped emcee the Unified Sports Athlete awards. It lasted about 100 hours but it was great for these kids to get to celebrate themselves and their peers. At the end we were able to hear some of the students share what this program has meant to them, how it will impact them. Very encouraging to see the impact of these relationships is definitely bilateral. And I would say it is triangular when you throw the parents in.....hmmmmm and siblings, and teachers. Wow, it may be a trapezoid but we would need to check with Mr. E. Anyway, MANY people are reached through this program, compelled to change their ways and become to the lost the friend in need, the buddy at the game or movie, or even the friend who just hangs out.





Graduation - GRADUATION! He DID it! We sat on the main deck in a box area to accommodate wheelchairs, canes and ease. We had a great view, just not close up. Many of his lifelong friends and classmates were graduating too. Alex, Maybeth, Xena, Kevin, Andrew, Kevin, Lucia, Sarah and so many more. From peanuts to people there they were all dressed in blue or gold, tassels on, proper and anxiously waiting their turn to cross that stage. And we could not hear quite as much as we were able to in the video. You see there must have been a good close mic on the stage. So when names were called you could hear STUDENT responses. So in the tape those mics were hot. So when graduation was happening, I was crying, cheering, you know, the usual but when we were able to listen and watch the tape, and hear his excitement, and see him close up, I was crying and cheering even more!

Raymond S Kellis Graduation 2014

A Wonderful Prom Proposal

A Wonderful Prom Proposal

Right This Minute heard about amazing Ashley, Kellis High School and one thrilled young man!

2014 Special Olympics - FOX 10 News

Arizona athletes to compete in 2014 Special Olympics - FOX 10 News | myfoxphoenix.com

Cody and his fantastic Unified Team are captured in this interview. Thank you to Tim Martin and Special Olympics for all of the support and opportunity for our kids.

Amazing!

I use this word constantly as of late, and it began to raise concerns by some who feel my world view is amiss. "Life can not always be good!", "Amazing people or events are not common!" Or even "Still medicated are you?" Well let me share some "amazing" with you!




Ashley- a beautiful 17 year old who has spent months planning the "date proposal". She coordinated games, people, teachers and a huge banner all to ask Cody to senior prom. Photos and a video while wonderful can not really demonstrate the delight of a thrilled young man. He still blushes as he recounts the events, his voice jumping a few octaves.

Andrew - This gentle spirit can laugh with Cody and talk Him through anything. Cody has mastered a 45 step hand greeting, overcome a basketball meltdown resulting in a couple dozen great shots and run an entire football field at least once scoring a touch down to boot. All this because Andrew is there and Andrew is "my best friend"!

Allyson - This beautiful girl we have watched bloom for years. You know crying, diapers, giggles, since the beginning! Quiet, observent, full of compassion. And talent! She is the observer at our gatherings, seeing what we miss because we are too busy. She invested her gifts and time to create a memory that will last a lifetime. She sketched a pencil drawing of Cody, which he immediately recognized himself feeling the celebrity that he is. Things were moved and it was given the wall of honor.

Tanya- Dance is a favorite along with singing. We encourage dance for many reasons. In more than two years of ballet one constant has been his friend Tanya. She is a lovely, patient, devoted friend. She will come and just hang out hoping to get some good Wii in but enduring countless hours of Barney and the Wiggles. HOURS and yet remains a true companion.

Teachers- It is difficult to put a single name as they all have dedicated time, energy, patience, encouragement, long suffering and hope in the life of our son. They 'get' him, what makes him work, what shuts him down. They call just to make sure something is ok, they text pictures so we don't miss anything. They get US! They recognize we entrust them with our son and want us to enjoy the ride. It is not common, it does not happen everyday. They have had big dreams for Cody, helped us see new adventures. They have not called the police even when I parked outside watching the campus until I adjusted to high 'freakin big' school. They have laughed and cried with us. They have been and always will be our friends.

Melinda - She says she has learned so much from Cody. But she has taught us so much. She sees Cody's gifts, his love of helping, caring for others, exceptional manners. We see her ginormous hug, her smiles and comfort in just being with Cody. She has never been afraid to dance even in the theater right in front of the audience. She lets him enjoy being!

Caroline - She sees the inner dancer in everyone. Her entire mission to boldly dance where others never consider. Never say Never! Who says limitations or ability keeps someone from dancing. Let it never be! She has embraced his creative nature and has encouraged confidence, freedom and constantly redefining what 'normal' and 'ballet' really are.

Diana - Calm, quiet, friend. She is a constant presence in his life and is skilled at keeping him calm, moving forward, willing to step in when head butting is in force. She talks to him as the grown up he is and keeps the bar high for expectations.





These are only a few of the many Amazing stories. I will tell more I am sure but perhaps this is a glimpse of the word Amazing for me!

2014 RSK Unified Cheer Competition

2014 RSK Unified Cheer

Insecurity

Oh yeah baby, I got it. I know all things are clearly under the control of the creator of the universe, master creator of the human body, creator of the hot fudge sundae. But this is my kid we are talking about. Is He able, prepared, does He have any idea what is going on?

Don't answer that. I am certain you are preparing for a serious fast and prayer for my soul.We need an intervention!  You are thinking how can anyone who trusts God, Father of ALL, Ruler of Everything be even remotely concerned about her son. How could it be? Doesn't she trust Him? Doesn't she believe?!!

Well of course I do. BUT!!! I am sure I have seen a zillion scriptures that have to do with the 'but', but I just have to find it. I am sure that God loves me in all circumstances including my anxiety, BUT! I know He has the perfect, designer road map, BUT! I am positive, beyond doubt that He has considered every single need, BUT! I am NOT alone in the land of 'but'! It is a crowded resort, not really a restful place, but a noisy chaotic foggy destination. I have probably seen some of you there. There is only one way out of this hotel. Lets discuss the facts.

You thought evil against me BUT GOD meant it for good ....Genesis 50:20
BUT The Lord thy God turned the curse into blessing...... Deuteronomy 23:5
Saul, the enemy, sought him out BUT GOD did not deliver him to the enemy......1 Samuel 23:14
No need to be worried or afraid, the battle is not yours BUT GODS......2 Chronicles 20:15
My flesh and heart may fail BUT GOD is my strength and portion ......Psalm 73:26
Enemy is all around, BUT GOD is my defense and my rock! psalm 94:21-22
Grass and Flowers die BUT GOD'S WORD lives FOREVER ?...Isaiah 40:8
But there IS a GOD!......Daniel 2:27-28
But with GOD all things are possible....Matthew 19:26
BUT GOD knows the heart ....Luke 16:15
BUT GOD gives His love to us BEFORE we ask ....Romans 5:7-8
We deserve death BUT GOD gives eternal promise. .....Romans 6:23
BUT for the GRACE of GOD go I a fool chosen ..... 1 Corinthians: 1:26-27
BUT GOD is faithful!..... 1 Corinthians 10:13


But, but, but! Sigh, I must confess He created life, He fed 1000's on a few fish an loaves, He rained Quail on stubborn Israelites, He taught a simple man to build an ark, He healed a leper, drove demons out of a boy, loved a sinful woman, called small children. He loves so much more than my simple, narrow visioned, human, mother eyes can see. Why HE loves my son more than ME!

It is clear that while I am here fretting over the unknown, He is on the other side of life waiving us in. HE has already 'proofed' the map and is prepared to walk us to the other side. As Cody so classically tells me, "Mom, you are a little upset. Just count to ten, take a deep breath and calm down!" So when you pass by me it is most likely true that you will hear me sighing deeply, often, as I implement my therapeutic intervention so skillfully taught to me by the one I most desire to protect. Calm down, take a chill, it's all good.

Amy Quinn Trust My Love

He is not afraid. He is excited. He is looking forward to the next adventure. He is planning for his day job and his super hero night job. He has a plan and He is ready. Sigh!! I am going to be ready, I promise. But, I believe that even if I leave all that misdirected energy in a closet I will need lots of loving reminders and Kleenex to get there.

But if I wait upon The Lord, if I hope in The Lord, I shall have renewed strength; I shall mount up with wings as Eagles; I shall run and not be weary; I shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31 But if I will trust in His unfailing love I will rejoice......because He has rescued me! Psalm 13: 5-6


Sigh.....ok

The Unexpected

We take life for granted very often. We wake up, we have coffee, we grumble at the store clerk, we laugh at Frasier, we vacuum, eat some supper and fall asleep in the chair. All in a days journey. We don't spend a lot of time in the reminiscing stage or in mourning, usually. We dream a little, plan and control what we can. Then suddenly we are forced to stop. Like a hard wall, the lights go off, we can no longer tell where we are and what is going on. Cancer. It is that word that puts paint to the romance of life. We are walking along, enjoying the view when suddenly we can not get our eyes focused. We can not keep our control, we are drifting. Our mind begins to spin, reeling with fear and anxiety about the unknown.

And so it begins. Mom has been diagnosed with lung cancer; Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma, SLL, CLL. She has been challenged to wrap her arms around it all, but has recognized that it is not the destination but the process that has her concerned. And of course the issue of time. I always think that is the most interesting anxiety for a patient. Our days are numbered from the beginning, not one of us is guaranteed tomorrow. Yet as I mentioned, we really don't 'pay attention' until we are forced to face it head on.

Her life started out in the south, poor farmers who always had extra plates of food for those who would walk down the dead-end road on Sundays. The big treat was tamales her father would buy from migrant laborers in the field. She played basketball in high school but found work in the five and dime to be great fun. Of course she met a military man there and the rest was history. Life ended up full of travel, adventures and family fun. Laughing, card playing, bowling and great home made food. Of course Atari, airplane rides and antique shopping were standard fare as well.

As she moved into assisted living two years ago, she had some 'challenges' losing her freedom, her privacy,  independence, her car! But over time she has adjusted to the quieter life. Not to say she still doesn't enjoy a good trip to the mall or Walgreen's or absolutely anywhere someone will take her. But she has come to acceptance about so many things. So now we have a new barrier to her happiness in her daily living. But she is resilient, tough, strangely determined to get her arms around this next step.

So it is my privilege to spend the next.......?...........helping her stay 'in the game'. My niece gave me a shirt that mentions putting your big girl panties on and dealing with it. I wear it a lot now. After all I am THAT daughter, and I do get away with that. Usually. I am factual, practical and going to make her laugh when possible. I just need to train the rest of the crew at the home to take the ball and run when I am away.

When she needs it, I remind her we are to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. We are to wrestle our flesh, not let it take our joy. So many things in life to be grateful for. Every day we must remember, count the blessings, consider what great joy it is to serve the King and be sure of our forever home. And by all means, start the celebration here and now. Well, this is my goal, encouraging trust, hope, faith and joy for her days.

You could be a great support by prayer. And there is always a hug and a smile for any encouragement. She loves mail.....you know, paper, stamps. :-) I will update from time to time. And covet your friendship along the journey.

Jude 24-25

Awareness

It is amazing to think about the day to day activities we participate in when compared to the things we have no idea of that are going on around us. Have you ever seen someone find a dollar bill, get a winning scratcher, fall off a curb, get in an accident, become very sick or pass away? Of course you have, at least some of those. Now, dissect some of these common, daily events and can you see how providence protected or directed you to or through them? I know, it is late and this is deep. But seriously folks, have you ever been aware of the world around you or are your eyes constantly focused on the inner circle, that small narrow view of 'the world'? I find this to be a stunning question and even more appalling are the answers I hear when this comes up, and it does.

So lets consider a few of these just to challenge or entertain you. That lottery ticket for example. You have probably been in line behind someone 'shopping' for their tickets. "Oh please, just pick one!" you have said, if not out loud in your head. I am sure it could be heard as it leaked out your glaring eyes. BUT what if that was you and your $5 and you were desperately trying to win so you could pay some bills, buy a house big enough for the ten kids or even retire? What if it was you who scratched off those magic silver spots to see the winning wheelie dealies or numbers? Would that be OK then? Would it make it a little easier to be patient thinking that it could be you? Perhaps then a little delay in line is not the worst thing.

That fall off the curb, OY! I have done that any number of times. The best story however is my best, a 'sympathy' fall, that's right SYMPATHY. Well some grace, natural clumsiness, massive distraction but sympathy was in there somewhere. You see I was trying to impress my new employee with a tour of the campus and some entertaining conversation while running some errands. As we walked between buildings on this cute little curved sidewalk, I was telling her my thoughts about people who take twenty minutes to pick their lottery tickets while at the counter. I noticed two ladies walking up a straight sidewalk when suddenly the one tripped and headed for ground. As if by entering some strange 'black hole' I stepped OFF the sidewalk, falling forward and back onto the edge of that cute little curved sidewalk. Bad sidewalk, BAD! As I turned my head to the right I could see the 1st sidewalk victim stand, dust her ego off and continue her walk into the building. I on the other hand did not fair so well. I stood, realizing I left a perfectly good pair of lip prints on the pavement and in taking that next step apparently had left a knee imprint as well. Over the next several minutes of trying to 'be cool' I became so impaired by pain and teary laughter that I had to go to occupational health. You guessed it, broke that knee cap I did. And no they did not figure that out at Occupational health, silly you. It would be many many days before I would see a real doctor, get a real xray and plan for surgery. I would not have seen the fall and recovery which led to my ultimate demise had I not been delayed at the store. Yup, and had I been paying attention, I would have stopped walking (normal people would do that), assisting the lady who fell and gotten on with my business. But I was more engrossed in my own delightful thoughts and conversation to notice what was going on around me.


And while we are at it, car accidents. Have you driven by a terrible accident, cars all mangled, ambulances everywhere, cell phones competing for airwaves? A minute earlier and that could have been you! You were spared, have you ever recognized that? That lady that drove you nuts in the store taking an extra five minutes to pick her lottery tickets delayed you so you missed the distracted teen who ran the red light and caused the accident. It could have been you! Suddenly now you want to go find the lady who made you stand in line and ask her to forgive you for your mean thoughts.

When we focus on our own world, thoughts, needs, issues, we totally miss the world around us. We miss the Hand that pushes forward or pulls us back at different points of each and every day. We are oblivious to the steps we take and the zillion missed opportunities because we are only worried about ourselves. I have heard people say it, usually joking, that it's 'All about Me'. Truth is, it is not at all about me. It is so much bigger than me. I am the speck in the big painting of life. I have no real idea what significance my life will have in the final portrait or the impact I will have in the lives around me. But what I am certain of is that if I do not pay attention, if I am not aware of the world around me, I am going to miss what matters most. I am going to miss opportunity. I am going to miss giving or receiving blessing. I must be intentional, eyes focused on that world around me, on the matters at hand.

What is it that you are overlooking? Who is it that needs your attention? What opportunities do you have to make a difference in the lives of those you pass by? Start now. When you see the tear in your nylon or the massive pimple on your nose, remind yourself, you are in Mighty Hands. Change your gaze. Look out, around or up! Make the most of every moment and be aware!!

I have the BEST team!

So while I clearly have amazing family and friends, I am also blessed with a great team at work. This is a couple of picture videos with my peeps. Makes me cry. Thanks TEAM!

MS ONC Holiday Lunch 2013

2013 MS Clin Ed Team

Merry Christmas?

I can not believe it is here! Don't have an app for the time warp that occurs between my sons birthday and the day after Christmas. It is a span of like 40 seconds. And as I stood in the line for the third time at the post office I discovered this time space continuum is global. We are all looking around dazed, unclear about what happened between the time we bought the gift on clearance last year and when we discovered it under some old blankets in the trunk two weeks ago. I encouraged one distraught grandmother who was feeling horrible about the late posting of the boxes. I reminded her that it is not like she forgot the children, she actually planned for this gift months ago. She just was unable to recall the actual 'plan' for the gift until the postman delivered her first Christmas cards. "Crap" she exclaimed and there it is, the sound heard round the world. It marks the emanate arrival of Joy, Peace on Earth and Good Will Toward Men.

And so it is with a grateful heart and abundant memories that I choose to let the seasonal anxiety disorder roll off my back and I put on the cloak of glad tidings. I will smile 'because I like to' as I so boldly posted on my Facebook (thank you to my twin Judy). I will sing along to Christmas music at the grocer. I will refrain from negative body language when standing in line at the department store as women or couples decide if they really want all of the things they have stuffed in both carts. I will not make agitated noises such as heavy unnatural sighs should they have the clerk go look for a different color 'just to compare'. I will remember that it is a great gift that was given all those years ago that made it possible for me to find hope in the challenges of the day. Yes even in the life threatening situations in line at the food court, I will keep my focus. I will cling to th cross and trust He will not allow me to weld it in anger but lean on it with patience.

Merry Christmas all. Find peace in His presence. Find joy in His wisdom. Find hope in his promise.