The Rest of the Story

My dad has said this at least as long as Paul Harvey, if not longer. I think about this all the time. Have you ever had a conversation and you hear "A" side of the story. It may be entirely convincing, filled with all of the juicy details that would cause Whoopie to get excited and sit on the edge of her seat and cause Barbara to start digging for dirt. Has to be true, how could you look at those eyes and not believe the tale right?

I find that almost always there are significant GAPS in the product of the speakers mind. Gaps in details, comments, actions, events and players. Gaps in the things that led up to or happened in the past. It really is a one sided edition and is the theme of stories picked up by Enquirer who fill in the holes with pictures of dinosaurs and three headed women from China. If you take a moment to THINK, you quickly know it can not possibly be all there is to the story. I mean really, when is the last time you saw a three headed woman from any Eastern country in the United States?

I usually am most driven to consider this when conflict is in the air. Peoples memories fail, just like when witnessing a robbery, the memory of details changes over the course of hours and days. Pretty soon the tall white man in a dark suite driving a motorcycle is a medium build older man driving an Escort. Might of been a homely woman now that you think of it......hmmmmm

So knowing that to be the rule more than the exception, conversations should happen with both parties. Separately is good if possible to see how the tales align, or not. A wise charity in our community has people seeking bus fare tell their story to three different people. Those three then compare the information to see if is consistent or not with truth. If it is they are on their way...somewhere. If it isn't well they are on their way out.

So the next time someone comes a yelling, listen, then consult the other party to see what is truth and what is emotion. Sift through what was said or done, and what each THOUGHT was said or done. Seek out the "rest of the story" and you won't be prone to unruly gossip, or unrighteous anger. Many a good relationship is wasted to the heaps of half truths and misunderstandings.

Proverbs 18:17 "Any story sounds true until someone tells the other side and sets the record straight."