Morning

I think many days morning comes hours ahead of schedule. You go to bed at 8 or 11 and wake up equally tired. What is that about? And I am not a morning person by nature. I think if coffee had been approved for infants my baby bottles would have been filled with it. I don't like noise in the morning or talking. And for anyone who knows me this would seem a severe contradiction in known characteristics or behavior.

I had the great fortune to go on a singles retreat many years ago. Now the pastor of our group was a true sanguine through and through. He bubbled cheerfulness and energy from the moments his eye lids twitched in the morning. I do not have this same sunny disposition for at least the first hour of my day but am capable of running that perky nature clear into the wee hours of the night. This is the "me" that the world sees.

The retreat started with loads of fun and we were up late the first night. No problem there. But when dawn came, I was now about to expose my true morning side. This came as shock to many as they observed me staggering down the path to the shower and then into the mess hall straight for COFFEE. As I was making this pilgrimage to the elixir of all energy, the pastor, like an Energizer bunny, came running up to me full of morning solicitations at a volume only suited for elementary children. When all he got was a foggy stare, he suddenly had the epiphany I had been hoping for. "You are not a morning person! I never would have guessed it!"

Now that could have and would have been the most desirable end to the conversation but he was so delighted to see this other side of me that he was compelled to go on and on about the wonder of my dark side. It would be several minutes before he realized I was not yet in simpatico with the glory of a new day. His expression changed and he excused himself apologizing for his extended morning greeting. I shuffled back to my hut and began my morning ritual. By the time I would appear again I would be a changed person. Miss Hyde to my morning Jekyll.

Whenever I recall this I am reminded that others who have one persona may well be hiding a secret alter ego. Someone who is completely different from the public being you know. The controlling person at work may have no control at home. The moody person at the store may be the exemplar of joy in their safe zone at home. The quiet, shy being at the board meeting may have no trouble sharing deep thoughts in their safe zone. So it could be that first impressions are not all they are cracked up to be. And it could stand to reason that not everything is as it appears on the surface. And it is ever so possible that while I am not yet ready for any noise of any kind yet at this predawn hour, I am quite able to converse silently on a blog sharing yet another observation of my 40 something life. Bottoms up!