The Little Things in Life

It is the little things in life that can help a child through the day. A blanket with a hole, satin trim or or all the edging pulled off. Or in the case of my niece Becca, the fuzzy nap removed from every blanket in the house resulting in millions of fuzz balls around the house. Like dog hair they can never be completely removed. They cling to the underside of furniture so that after you move it all, vacuum twice and move it back, a new layer drops to the floor so that eventually you can do it again. Now you know how it is possible that 11 years after the blankets went to Good Will their presence is still haunting your home.

I remember my trip into the commissary at Christmas time as a young girl. I saw a huge display of monkeys, yellow and black with banana in hand. "Beanie. Beanie" I screamed as I ran over smaller children and old women. I was so loud that everyone in the place turned and smiled as I made an enormous scene at the site of my beloved monkey. How could my parents say no, really how could they? They couldn't and I still have him today. My son likes to play with him, but his first love is Barney who at any moment will completely fall apart. The fabric is wearing so thin on his back that I will have to see if I can get away with adding another green spot.

Now the big question should be "Who is Beany?" You have never seen a show with a monkey named Beany nor read a book with that character, right? It is true, Beanie is actually Cecil's' friend on Beanie and Cecil. A sea serpent and a BOY who other than a similar dress is clearly a boy......or is he? If we look at boy behavior it may very well assimilate that of apes. Climbing on everything, swinging from trees, picking things off their sisters or friends, snatching snacks and scratching everything that is within arms reach. Really not much different. Oh did I mention the constant noise? Very ape like behavior. And while I do not believe in evolution I can certainly see why a man would believe in it or at least relate to the fur balls. So it is clear to me that in a way I saw this monkey and immediately thought "It's the boy from TV". Close enough.

It would be wonderful if today all it took was that monkey or a fuzzy blanket, but now I am in need of other types of diversions to get me through the day. They can be any size and can arrive in a number of fashions. A positive kudos for a job well done, a gift for just no reason at all or a great cup of coffee. Peppermint Mocha Latte. A chocolate peppermint delight! My favorite escape is a nap. Quiet, peaceful, uninterrupted sleep where I can drift into a deep sleep far away from the challenges of the day and into that boat on the water with a friendly sea serpent and the little boy just having fun. Ahhhhhhh! I think I will go there now.

"In" Style

Who has style, really? Doesn't it all depend on who you are and where you are? My style is definitely "in" in some parts of the world. They may be remote and never before seen by man, but I fit in "there". I see people so consumed with magazines, images, keeping up with Cosmo and In Style. And yet, at the end of the day we are all naked underneath and vulnerable, whether or not we have recognized that or not. I can not imagine the bondage that comes with that and at what price.

I was very attached to a few outfits, which were definitely in style when I bought them. BUT what I refused to do was pack them up or give them away because Hollywood or some insane designer in Europe deemed that indeed the Earth shoe was out and the clog was in. Or that my favorite bell bottom pants were passe. And guess what, they are all back in again. Style changes with the wind. Think about how many things you have thrown away and then in 5 years purchased more of the same. Been there!

And the same can be true for our homes and cars. I put color on the walls and many shared their opinions. Not "in", or why would you do that? And you know what, less then 2 years later many of those same voices were painting their walls all kinds of colors. Want to know why I did it? Can you guess? I am orange. I must have orange in my life. I am not referring to my race or skin color but my personality. I am up, must have up, see up and feel up to be up. I get depressed around certain colors as they remind of say old military infirmaries or funeral homes or mental institutions.

I am not beige in any way. Any one who knows me would probably figure that right out. But then there are those who look at me with those sideways glances, or rolling eyes to others in the room. I see it all, but that is okay. I will never meet their standard or follow their version of normal or "in". It just isn't me. And I would never fault them for being who they are. It is just them.

The beautiful thing is that you don't have to fit in to fit in! It is true. We are unique, you have heard this before, but you should wear it every day. Even though I think some looks are insane (yes I said it) they can really help that person feel comfortable, safe, maybe even powerful. Feeling the need to get others approval weigh you down, but One loves you all the time, even in those unflattering shoes or stretch knit shorts.

What is a fact and one of my favorite statements "We are more alike than unalike". I find this to be completely true. So just as you are judging or criticising others, it is highly likely that someone is doing the same to you. If you are embracing others they will likely embrace you. So be comfortable in your skin, then you will always be in style and enjoying the style of others.



1 John 3:18
Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.

Are you being served?

One of my favorite British comedies and one of the questions I think is absent from the community at large. Have you ever gone to a desk at a business, someone is there busy at their desk flipping through the pages of some higher learning document such as US or People? They keep their eyes diverted and head down as if to say "If I don't acknowledge you you do not exist?" or "You can not see me because I am not looking at you?" These behaviors remind me of early childhood. I believed for many years that if I couldn't see you, you couldn't see me. Eyes hidden, I am curled up under the kitchen cabinet, door left open to avoid the darkness and I wait for the moment when I uncover my eyes and Viola, you can now see me! I miss that belief alot:)

I spent several minutes today at a desk being carefully ignored when I finally spoke. She appeared surprised and then annoyed. I had after all interrupted what was possibly the most critical reading of the day and that intrusion could cause some seizure, or something. How would she be able to carry on I wondered? And as the conversation continued there was not even a hint of customer service training. Addressed with many dismissive responses, it was clear her goal was to make me vanish. I am sure I have pained others with this same hope, that I would drop like a malaria stricken mosquito. Not to be her fate today. For I am resilient when I am driven. Today was not her lucky day.

As I commenced to express my needs, a head appeared from behind a cube across the foyer faining interest and yet supporting the culture of negative reinforcement established by said Information Attendant. There was going to be no satisfaction from this dual and I had to finally assert my two cents for their personal growth. One thing was profoundly clear, customer service was not a focus of this institution nor was it likely a brief in service or hand out in orientation. They were not there to serve others, but to do tasks. Tasks that clearly did not require manners or recognition of humans. This was most disturbing to me as this was the High School that my son will potentially attend. And my first impression was that more communication skills may be learned in juvenile detention then this place of higher learning.

Sadly I acknowledge that this is the case often today. Poor customer service. Interest in revenue out weighs recurring customers or service satisfaction. It is not a measurable skill that will help you up the corporate ladder. I believe there is a generational influence in this trend as well as I look back to my youth. Today it is all about me, self,I. Forty something years ago I was raised by a well mannered mother with southern principles, and military father and an expectation that we would use our manners. We should address others with respect, be polite, use all the magic words and set the table so that no one would have a need once the meal began. Service with a smile. We were taught to serve!

Belonging Part 2

Just when you think you have it all figured out, the family, the friends, the job, something changes, someone turns. It is like being on a game show where you have to choose a curtain or door, and you don't know if you will get a really cool prize or an old rusty tractor with a donkey wearing a straw hat. I usually pick that door:0 I happen to like antiques and animals so not a total loss.

Relationships in the human realm certainly can be that way too. We hope we can rely on our families and usually these are the most reliable of circumstances. And romance and marriage can work, at least statistically you have 50-50 odds of success. A true friend can be priceless. But picking those and finding that one or two devoted friends may mean a lot of disappointments in the hunt. You probably have experienced friendship gone bad. Gets ugly, and can get there quick. Or that friend who came out of nowhere, unsolicited and unexpected.

I have experienced the ups and downs of friendship. I have those who were around when everything was good, there for every party and camping trip. But a serious life event occurred and they were gone like bad gas. Pouf! But out of that residual odoriferous cloud others stepped up, having heard about the situation and they have been stuck to me since. They encourage, support, listen and share in all that I have to go through. These are friends tested by fire and they are true, solid, gifts! Those that ran into the woods I have not heard from again. I could probably post them on milk cartons to see if anyone has seen them again.

In any situation, family, marriage or friendship you hope for the very best. True to their word, unconditionally accepting of you even when you are all messed up and cranky, they will stand the test of time. And in many cases they do. But what about those that don't? The parents who are horrible, reject one child while accepting another, showing favoritism or walking away; the family that does not welcome you in or show compassion; the marriage that fails due to infidelity or lack of interest; the friendship that was not true or the one that was but is lost to geography or death. What then?

Since I know only one perfect Friend and He is true to His word and true to me, I know if all these others let me down, fail me in every way, reject me over silly things, judge me for my opinion or way of life, or if they all completely walk away, He will be there. And if I go AWOL He will come look for me, over and over and over again! He will never grow weary of me or my short comings. How cool is that as I know I can really be annoying. But I also, like everyone I know, want to be accepted and a part. Thank God I can always find that with Him.

1 John 3:1 How great is the love that the Father has lavished on us...The only unconditional, reliable, predictable, eternal love.

Belonging

Belonging! This is something you expect to find in your own family and hope to find in your extended family or friends. Your own family usually, hopefully, accepts you for exactly who you are. They love you unconditionally and don't judge you for being you. There is no favortism shown to or between siblings. They laugh with you, cry with you, they are always there. You don't have to seek them out as if time goes by they will find you. That is the fortune that is my family. Always there, always forgiving, always supportive and always remind me they love me. It is a beautiful thing.

I have found that it can be more conditional outside the family tree. I have met those who never feel that kind of love from their families. The eyes of each person is on themselves or their needs or their feelings alone. In these unfortunate relationships love, loyalty, kindness, friendship, compassion, forgiveness, they just aren't there. Or they have to be begged for, sought after, negotiated. There are conditions for these things. I will only forgive you if, I will love you if, I will only spend time with you when. It is not a given that they will be there nor that they will want you there. It is the exception not the rule. It is sad.

Have you ever seen this? I watch when I am at a gathering and see people who look like they just met, superficial relationships with no real deep understanding of those relatives or friends in the room. At times it has resembled a chance meeting and conversation in the grocery store line, where you discuss the headlines from People and the weather. You could vanish tomorrow and no one would miss a step. There would be no sense of loss because there was never a committment to love. Tragic.

I belonged to a social group or three as a child and perhaps that helped to develop a sense of belonging and the art of true loyalty. Never forsaking others because my feelings were hurt, or because I didn't get my way. It was never about ME but always about OTHERS. The focus wasn't on meeting my needs but really listening and looking at the needs of my "family" or "troop". I never earned a merit badge for self gratification or best manicure or most expensive bicycle. I did earn badges for services given, volunteering, and skills that would benefit a community. Those lessons stuck with me to this day and I am so grateful they did.

I have so much confidence in the relationships in my own family that I know I can be myself always, I can call and annoy them at any time, we would get together for no reason at all if we lived close enough, that in MOST circumstances they would choose to spend time with family over anything else and that I will never get far away before they start looking for me. My tribe, my hood, my family. It is a wonderful thing!

"I promise to do my best to love God and my country, to help other people every day, especially those at home" The Brownie Girl Scout Promise, 1963

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 ESV
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.

Spam

A lot of things come to mind when I hear that word....spam. I actually watch people when that word is said and it is truly generational I am convinced. People over....well, older than me think of it as a delightful, non-rationed, unrefrigerated miracle meat. Our troops ate it. Matter of fact the Russians attribute it with keeping their troops alive during the war. It has captured the worlds imagination over the decades and even caught the attention of Monty Python, I don't know why.
When people my age or younger hear the word spam it takes on a whole new meaning. It is bad mail from the Internet. Ads you didn't ask for, letters from people you don't want or those pesky chain letters. I don't know who starts it, but they occupy millions world-wide I would guess. The only miracle in dealing with Internet spam is that you will still be able to log on the next day without any funny things happening to your hard drive.
Spam can do that, cause your computer to crash, die, completely freak out...much like you will once it happens. Spam. It sounds bad, it does bad things, it is often a waste of time which again, makes it bad.
Now I don't know, I was already uncertain about a food named SPAM (does anybody really know what is inside) and now my computer email can be blasted with spam which may bring with it viruses, worms, Trojans, Druids. Really bad stuff. I hold a can of Spam meat and I think of computer spam critters and I am thinking I am going to opt for chicken.....................You? Doesn't really sound like something I want to put in my mouth unless I am on Survivor right?
I think a lot of what we take in each day would qualify as spam, and maybe stuff we put out may be spam as well. Content unnecessary, personal benefit questionable, time consumption ridiculous. Spam. If we consider the one really great value of the canned version, it is airtight, nothing in or out until you pop that little tab. You slither the contents out, eat, get full and you are done. Nothing wasted, supposedly safe and bacteria free. If we look at that spam mail, we can eliminate tons by simply clicking delete.
I like deleting spam. I wonder what I have going on each day in life that could qualify? I would love to delete a major list of "items" and only keep the chicken:) I think I will. And you should be spam free in life too. What do ya say?

What Do you Want?

I hear mothers ask that all the time? Why are you crying? What do you want? Hungry? Tired? Bored? Sick? Why can't we read minds? This scenario happens throughout our lives. We take trips and meet our favorite characters. We want a hug, a hand shake, another hug and a picture, and a hug.......never enough. We are not fulfilled. And that is the parents! When the characters turn to move on there is crying, weeping, foot stomping and more. And yes, still the parents:) I wonder where do the children learn it from.

I am a very playful 40 something and I know my husband has to remind me to slow down at amusement parks, and tells me I don't have to ride all the rides, I don't have to see all the creatures, I don't have to see the parade, etc, etc. But I want to. I want to do it all. I might be sad if I miss something. Then this causes me to pause and ask, "If I don't see it all will I know what I missed?" Chew on that question for a minute.

We feel a gap or emptiness if we don't get or have a certain experience. We translate that nagging void to mean we are lost, bored, sad, lonely, or hungry. There may be times when any one of these is true. But when we have tried a fix and it doesn't take, we continue to dig. We may spend dozens of hours or hundreds of dollars to find the answer to that dark hole. We are sure we can find the exact solution. If I only buy one more whatever it is or travel one more place or marry one more person I will be satisfied. It will all be good, but it's not. There is still a dead space.

So the big question is what do you want? What will make you truly happy? What will fill the void? It would need to be something that would be permanent, that would not run out or disappear. It would need to be something anyone can get. It would need to be something that has endless opportunities and would give you purpose. It would need to be something that keeps you company and makes you feel good. It would need to keep you from getting hungry or thirsty. Is there one thing that could do all of that without fail, I wonder! I am thinking yes.

Just Do It

Sometimes I spend way too much time thinking about things to do as opposed to just doing them. Ever done that? The one I hear about most is taking a vacation. So much work to plan and take a vacation right? Or is it the work that will await us when we return that puts the brakes on? I have friends that are weighing that one constantly.

For me it is the "sort and file" material of my daily life. I come home everyday from somewhere with papers, forms, articles, requisitions, cards, letters, notices, etc, etc, etc. I usually arrive just in time to fix dinner or get my son off the bus so I place the papers in the designated place. Over time that place reaches capacity so I identify another "temporary" place. And that one becomes full and so on and so on.

I have individuals who say "well just take care of them right away and file or toss the trees growing in the kitchen". The problem is like the answering machine, many need a reply or action before they can become history. Those tasks usually have to be done during business hours when you are already conducting other business thus the backlog ensues.

This is not like a pack rat who just collects stuff and is incapable of throwing stuff away. The items I stack high are items NO ONE would want if they had a choice on saving these things:) It is just stuff that needs attention. For me I like to put my attention on my husband and son first, all else eventually. Always before the due but often not before the spider moves into the envelope.

Whats interesting to me is that I have no problem planning, or taking a vacation. I have time to wash, pack, plan, prepurchase entertainment and get in the car. So I have decided in order to find any interest in dealing with all this work the world lays on my plate daily I am going to reward myself with a little r and r. Sure I can't afford to fly off for a vacation each week but I can take a trip to Starbucks or the Bookstore or a nice meal out. Would I do these things anyway, sure, BUT I would not do them as often or as a treat to self. Afterall, bribey worked when I was 12 and I am just slightly older now.

Might sound silly to some, but everyone has something that motivates you, right? Wouldn't it be nice to get that nagging voice to be quiet? What will it take for you to deal with that task that you avoid? Think about it and set up the game plan and then you will be able to enjoy that special reward. Really is kind of like baking cookies; got to do all that prep work and baking but then Oh Mama! Cookies!


Proverbs 20:4
The sluggard does not plow in the autumn; he will seek at harvest and have nothing

Take Me Away

I love the beach! I love sunshine. I love to swim and hear the roar of the ocean and hear the seagulls and the feel of the sand. There is really not one thing I don't like......well maybe dog doodles and debris, but for the most part it is my ideal way to get away from it all. "Calgon take me away!" I laugh when I hear that as personally I have never found a single candle, soap or cushion that will convince me that stepping into my little bathtub equates even remotely to a vacation AWAY from it all. I mean really, who are we kidding. And I am pretty good at make believe. Not going to happen. I need the wide open spaces to believe I am really enjoying the great outdoors.

I know there are days when things are great and no big problems hitting your desk so who needs a get away. A little dinner, movie, nice walk and it is all good for yet another day. That little tiny bat will probably do ya just fine. But then there are those other days, you know those days, the ones that make you absolutely want to smash anything within reach. The days where only the bad words come to mind as you drop yet another bag of groceries while trying to open the door. The kind where only silence, a closed door and some therapy music have any chance of bringing you off the ceiling.

Those are the days where I need a radical change to my mental state. I need to completely obliterate the enemy for a moment and dispose of the hostile thoughts so that I can indeed go put my groceries away in such a manner that eggs will be spared. I have found if I can not get to a beach, the ideal place to forget I have any responsibility or worry at all, I must sing. And I must sing LOUDLY! If I am home alone this is marvelous. I can turn my surround sound system on to level 40 (not permitted when others are home) or more and I can sing my troubles away. I suddenly forget what was so big a moment ago that I propelled fruit cups into the back of the fridge. Gone just like that.

In crisis, like people are home and I can not get my stereo fix, it is to the car for me. I have done that since I got a license. It was the only way I survived my teen years. I drive and sing, still not illegal in the continental United States. And were it not for the people who depend on me at home I could be compelled to drive for hours, say TO THE BEACH! Sigh! But Thank God my vocal chords are with me no matter where I am....Where ever I go there they are:)

So find your mental space, that place you can go or create where you are able to repel the anger, frustration and insanity. Have the plan ready so that a drop of the hat, you can be there, calm down from the inside out and get free of that unwanted dog doodle and debris.


James 1:19-20
Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.

DressUp

You remember playing dress up? Boy or girl we all did it so lets just put that on the table and have it done with. What is interesting as I look back and compare it to my adult life is that in some ways the costumes we chose don't look much different from what we wear in our adult life. Some kids play super heroes and fly from chair to dining room table to the corner for 5 minutes of timeout wearing nothing but some briefs and a cape made from moms skirt. The claims to save the day are only mildly eclipsed by the lack of any actual super powers. Just normal kids living in a dream. Some firefighters I know tell me this was their favorite game.
Then there are those who are going to cure their toys, pets and innocent peers of whatever ailment they decide they may have using only a spoon, pillow and pill shaped candy. As they age they may be encouraged or forced to join organizations that teach first aide, self reliance and survival which translates well into the health care profession. Of course who wouldn't hire a Girl Scout right? After all they must be reliable they have all those badges and are used to wearing uniforms. When you review the resume there are countless skills needed for the workforce such as recognizing dangerous plants or how to treat a snake bite. Think of the time you wil save with this skill set.
One group fails to observe silence for even a fragment of the day. They overwhelm those around them with constant noise, causing parents to begin to weep as they realize their little prodigy is only 2! How will they ever survive 16 more years without a hope of silence? What price will they pay? Who taught them to speak anyway? Oh wait, yeah, we can probably figure that answer out....But this group looks for opportunities to perform, be in front of the crowd, speaking whatever is on their mind. These are the children who walk around with a kitchen utensil used as a microphone. As children they preformed to a captive audience of relatives or teachers but as adults it is on a stage or before a camera as news anchors, actors, lawyers or politicians. The bonus feature for this group is as adults they will most be on the clock, there will be boundaries to the constant stream of dialogue. You will be able to turn them off.
Whatever it is, I find it interesting to see what leads a person to their adult path. I wonder if our parents had given us different costumes would it have changed who we were or would we have changed the costume to fit who we were going to become.
Hmmmmmm

Listening

I talk to my fish. Call me crazy, but I am fairly sure he is listening. Whenever I come in the kitchen he will float up to see me, his little red eye following me wherever I go. He is a great listener and I appreciate having "someone" unbiased to talk to. Okay, so he lives in a tank, floats in green water and perhaps is only interested in food. But the relationship seems to work. No conflict, no arguing, no judging, no pretending, just good old fashioned silence.

I often think we could learn a lot from my fish. An albino shark that started out the size of a Tylenol, now almost too big to enjoy his coral. When I am washing my dishes or cooking dinner he is there, quiet and attentive. How many times have you wanted to talk to a spouse, friend or co-worker with the same benefits? Silence.

We are a generation that is very uncomfortable with silence, we must add-on or fill-in any dead space. Perhaps it is the constant stimulation since the womb that has caused a need for constant sound and movement. I see people multi-tasking constantly, in line at the store, during church, at a school play, in class and at work. Doing at least three things constantly appears to be the new norm. My fish and I must respectfully challenge this behavior.

I am also certain that everyone is of the opinion that they must render their opinion for every question, conversation or crisis. I have been guilty of this myself and still can be compelled to dispense my remarkably flawless advise. Then I recall my fish; calm, focused, quiet. I think about the man (or woman) who has too much to say, you know them as Gabby Gus or Chatty Cathy or annoying. They miss the greatest opportunity of all, to offer the kind word that cheers the heart (Proverbs 12:25).

This of course takes focus, on what is being said not what the reply will be. And it takes patience in waiting for the right moment to speak as opposed to the silent void that may appear. And it takes comfort in the fact that silence is okay, being still and waiting......

Change in Plans

I have often found that just when I think I know what is going on or where I am headed a large, orange, detour sign appears. Who invented those signs anyway? That is likely a great example of someone who probably had a little idea in his pajamas or while sitting in the loo. Then after negotiating a healthy contract with the Department of Transportation he suddenly retired to some exotic island. I bet that wasn't in the plans. He was probably going to continue working in a convenience store and coloring with his kids until retirement.
Life can be that way, actually is that way. The good news is that change is usually a good thing and it brings with it a whole new adventure. We moved constantly as Air Force brats so friends and houses and schools were short lived. I did not acquire real, long term friends until 9th grade. Who knew! And two of them still talk to me today. They keep moving but I keep finding them.
That bump in the road or sharp turn to the left, like the detours that seem to always occur say, at your wedding, or prom or first day at a job, those are all just a minor change in plans. You know the ones, you may have had to seek counseling after your change in plans. You spent weeks or months planning the big day, you know who the players are gonna be, what the menu will be, what you will wear, who will preform, everything down to the color of the book of matches, which quite frankly I think is the most ridiculous expense. But not about me, right?
Then it happens. Your wedding cake lists to the left upon set up causing your beautiful doves to nose dive to the floor. Chipped wings, not in the plan. But a little glue and we are good to go. Until the air conditioning doesn't work. People sweating, children crying, parents missing. Thank the Lord for those bulletins. The combination of people fanning nearly blew the old people over. And the photography took how long? And your wedding bouquet arrived sans stem wrap and resembling a dollar store close out item. WOW! Not in the plan. How will I go on, what will I do, this is not what I had planned, I did not want this, WAH WAH WAH!
Maybe for you it is the new job and your work uniform. Hand pressed and starched, ready for your big day. You want to impress everyone as you are getting your picture taken. Cool, of course, until the spewing infant sent barf flying down your shoulder and back as you held the little cutie pie while waiting. No time to change, brush it off, let it go, breath....not too deeply of course as it smells like some chefs kitchen disaster. But the show goes on. You get that picture taken, and heck, since it is only 2" big no one can really tell what that stripe is on your jacket.
A few little bumps but you are still breathing, right? Not quite in the plan but it worked out. Life goes on even when you are not sure what ride you are currently on. The ride will eventually stop and TA DA, you will have arrived at the next stop in the Big Adventure you are on.
So I consider these little diversions "gifts". Unexpected presents that may not be on any of my lists created over the years. I may not even be familiar with any of the players or costumes now before me, but it clearly looks like something is happening and I am going to get to go along for the ride. It is all good, these little change of plans, as some day you will be able to tell others about the time you thought you had it going on and pouf you were on a roadway not on your life map.

A Christmas Tale

Christmas is coming!!! I can hardly wait. When I look at certain pictures it brings about memories of days gone by when little surprises brought great joy! Now you would think that this cute little girl is smiling because her dad came home for a surprise visit at Christmas. He was stationed in Hanoi and all we had were rare audio tapes, the reel to reel kind, and an occasional letter. You would think that would do it. Excited, sure, Ecstatic you bet. But joy? Not so much. That came when a long lost toy was found.
It was, after all, my favorite Barbie. She had traveled from South Dakota to California and had endured hair cuts, fingers being chewed off by a toy poodle and bad clothes. How could you not admire her beauty within! I had lost her some time before and we had searched the house more than a few times. Nothing more annoying and able to spring family members to action then a child who will not let the doll die! "Where's the doll?" "I want my doll!" "I don't want another doll, I want that doll!" You know, over and over and over again until I was close to becoming a face on a milk carton I am sure.
Well it was really my father who played an important role in the discovery. He was due to go to the officers club and had to get his dress jacket out of the closet. When he took his coat out, there she was, being strangled in a loop on the pocket. Poor baby. But it was okay I would love her back to ??? I don't know what ever a 5 year thinks a Barbie is! She would be back to that.
Once we all thought about it, we decided she had been on the shelf and had fallen into the coat. I think others were conspiring against poor Barbie and hiding her or trying to replace her. It was not to be. She may gain other Barbie friends but she would always be part of the group. After all we all have a friend or three like this Barbie don't we? A little rough around the edges, having a bad hair day or year and at least the finger nails chewed to a nub. She was the proving ground in my loyalty for years to come.
And every Christmas I am reminded of that doll, hanging by her unbendable limbs, stuck in the darkness of the closet, alone, afraid, plastic. But with a little love she was redeemed. And with a little love we are redeemed in the grander scheme of things. We get the best Christmas gift from the one who chose to endure the darkness for us. He is just waiting for us to find Him.

Play Time

I love to play and have fun, even today at 40 something. I love to go to the park and swing, maybe go down a slide or two. Then there are my favorite things like golf or volleyball and bowling which I unfortunately don't do as much as I would like. I find play time the best time to relax, de-stress, make friends, make noise and have fun. My son loves to play catch and he has the stamina of Charles Albert Bender. Hours spent pitching balls of all sizes and shapes or batting balloons back and forth. And it is fun and relaxing. And the giggles he gets are contagious to anyone in the house.
I think it is fun to not act your age, but to let go and enjoy yourself no matter what others think. I know from looks and whispers over my many years that some have had thoughts about my ability or poise or age or insanity but to them I say "I am having a great time and you are not!" I still color, inside the lines of course and I love to do crafts. I paint my walls for fun, all different colors and make every room a different theme so I can have little adventures at home. And I use the good dishes a lot! Why not.
I have always said I may have to grow old but I never have to grow up, and I don't want to. I love watching a situation unfold and the reactions of those in it's presence. For example, we took a trip to Disneyland 2 years ago that was akin to National Lampoons Vacation movie. As the parents each blow of fate took our trip down a notch, but our son was amazingly oblivious to the events. We should have suspected such a trip when my husband decided to do car maintenance and change the battery prior to leaving. The battery mount broke so three trips later we had a new battery and mount:)
We arrived to California Adventure in time for them to tell us they were closing early that day. We went to the hotel to jump in the heated pool to find out it wasn't which explained the long line for the hot tub.
The next day after a delightful breakfast we arrived early and jumped on two rides before 10 and then my husband jumped into the bathroom to hug the porcelain tossing pot for the next two hours. Determined to see that we had a great day he took every anti emetic drug the park sold and we continued on. Cody did not seem to miss a beat. It was all GREAT! By supper time my husband was well so we went to an expensive steak house we would normally refuse to pay for. Excellent food, only one item that a child would like so we ordered him two and then we were back to the hotel where now the pool was heated but the hot tub was not.
Sometime around midnight I developed a relationship with the porcelain tossing pot which now leads us into day two. We road the rides at Disneyland and had a suspiciously nice day. Day three arrived and we were determined to have some greater adventures so we decided to go to Knotts Berry Farm. Why are they still open? We passed the western area, closed. Went to the burger joint known for it's pie to be told they didn't have any cause the cook was on vacation. Finally we arrived at a ride, sort of. It was a lift that takes you to the top of the pole and goes in circles so you can see all of Anaheim. Note to self, do not go in a lift when the city is surrounded by fires as you will not be able to see past the finger prints in the seating area. And very funny was the guy who stood right next to us and with his microphone ON told us to take our seats and prepare for decent. Slow day in the park.
And to top it off our son was either too old, too tall, too heavy or too young for all but 2 of the children themed attractions. No Peanuts characters anywhere. Yikes. Back at the hotel neither the pool nor hot tub worked. Due to the fires we could not get to any of the other areas we had pre-purchased tickets for so we made the decision to go home early. Satisfied we were making a good decision we opened the door in the morning to a virtual wall with 3 foot visibility due to smoke and fog. As we were finally hitting freeway, traffic suddenly log jammed. Going the other direction the roads were all being blocked off and a long line of motorcycle cops were streaming by. Then police cars and then black SUV's and it finally dawned on us. Arnold and the President were coming back from viewing the fire damaged areas. Lord have mercy.
With each event we laughed a bit more and began taking bets on what might happen next. Our son summed it up for us the best as "The best trip we ever had!" He saw nothing wrong, he had fun, he played despite the obstacles, he never let it get him down. Even thought the park was closed it was no big deal. He was there to have fun no matter what. He has that same attitude with everything. He loves to play. And I realized I do too. So whether it is in the yard playing catch or having fun swinging in the park it is important to have lots and lots of play time in your life. Pencil it in and enjoy!

Perspective

Some days provide lots of opportunities to gain perspective. Perspective on what is important, what matters and frankly all the things that don't. When we look back over our lives or the history of our country we see lots of things have happened to change the course of our world. It certainly has nothing to do with being most popular or being admired for who or what you are. It is not even the invention of rock and roll or disco. We could pour over volumes of such events but if we take it down to the simplest level, we ask "What has made an impact in my life"or better still "What will?" I love these thought provoking moments and occasionally I will recall my in depth thoughts hours later. You would hope it would last longer, but not so much.
I remember my 4th grade substitute teacher, Mrs. Chainey. She wore this huge
chain on her neck and would always point to that and then her knee to help you remember her name. And she would always say "Since I am the substitute I think we will read a story". And she would read with such enthusiasm that you remembered the story. My favorite was Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn. She would act out some parts and well, honestly, at times you were not too sure she was all there. But what really stuck with you is her passion for what she was doing. She found it most rewarding and beneficial to ignite your interest in the world around you not the self-centered world within.
I wanted to have that kind of passion in the things I decided to do. As an adult I realize how important passion is as you have all lived with or worked with passionless people. They have lost their focus or perspective on life. They no longer can find what really matters. Is it money or possessions or looks or power? Those things only bring very short term gratitude. It is a waste of life to live for those things. There are people all over the world who have less than nothing and they are truly happy. Often it is their joy of family or appreciation of a life spared from illness. They would celebrate a single banana and while we are not happy without the entire tree.
I look at the military who defend their country to keep people safe. Their focus is on what matters: saving lives and preventing harm, making sure we do not fall under siege losing our freedom. They have seen those who live without these gifts, seen what being without simple freedom is and when they come home it is often a can of Pringles or eating the meat of their choice or taking a walk holding their loved ones hand that brings joy. Not the car or home or money but their freedom. Perspective.
In times where things seem to be falling apart all around us it is easy to lose perspective. It is a good time to sit down and make a list. What do you absolutely need to be happy and what can you live without. It may take several drafts to get to the root of things, but I bet pizza and world series tickets and a speed boat and cable will fall far down on the list when you really look. And because you wrote it down you can pull it out often to remember your in depth thoughts helping you find your perspective.

“These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

Candy

I can feel every ache and pain today. Some days are like that. And then I look at pictures from days gone by and I do not recall pain, I was oblivious to pain. There would be lots of days in my future that would provide me with detailed descriptions of pain in a variety of circumstances and body parts, but oh the joys of youth. If it hurt, it was only for a moment. Then the pain either went away or someone offered you a candy and you experienced an immediate onset of amnesia. I have tried candy today, no such luck. I could play volleyball tournaments with a broken wrist or march with a broken foot. Today a hang nail can do me in.
I think maybe the difference is that the ingredients in the candy are different, or I no longer delight in simple distractions. I could say that if anything my focus on days like today are concentrated and intensely focused on the symptom. Only a Butterfinger Blizzard has any chance of providing a diversion but my guess is that would be short lived too. And i would have to drive somewhere to get it. See it is already too much work.
Interesting as I consider this shift in our focus with age. When we are young we think of the world, things "out there" and we want to explore. We can ignore say, a fractured left arm with the right incentive, which for me was trick or treat. The hopes of a full basket of goodies was enough incentive for me to hide it. I was 9 after all. Note to self: never play with a footsie. Of course after I realized I could not carry the basket as it got weighted down with loot causing me to drop it repeatedly I had to go home and fess up.
As you age though there is this "middle earth" place where you start to focus on the changes in your body. Things hurt, no longer move the same or smell the same or well, look the same. A polar shift occurs with silent quakes and the next thing you know is you suffer from a furniture problem. Your chest has fallen into your drawers. And the things you used to eat and drink without a second thought cause toxic repercussions with sounds you only used to see in movies. And you talk about it, all the time, every where, with anyone. And they have it too!
But it seems at the end of this life journey we may be given a reprieve and one more tiny glimpse of those care free days. Whether it is less pain or the inability to remember you hurt, things seem to mellow. You don't talk about your complaints as much maybe because you can't hear the sounds, and your sniffer has gone cold and well really, how upset can a stomach get with mashed potatoes and toast. Things calm down. We get a little flash of the past. And you might even get the opportunity to recall those good old days when you used to do everything without a care. When you had no recollection of pain and a piece of candy was the ticket to a great day. Have some candy today.

Time

TIME! I do not seem to have enough of it. Even now during this unexpected "free" time I am booked solid. And I can not understand why having gained 10 or more hours a day from the loss of a job has not created a huge amount of leisure time for me. Hmmmmm I don't know how a clock actually works. By my calculations I should have gained roughly 1080 hours or 45 full days. Haven't seen them anywhere! Matter of fact that clock spins around like the Price is Right Wheel.
Of course I had an accident which has consumed 12-18 hours a week in therapy, appointments and associated travel time. And I spent the first few weeks sleeping A LOT! So that being considered I should still have noticed a large gap, an empty calendar day, some free time. Then it hit me like a tsunami.
How many times do we go about our daily lives and say "Oh dear, I can't do that because I have to work" or "I have an appointment" or "I have to bowl". And so we put those other things on a list for some free time, an open moment on the calendar. That list gets long. It grows like that weed in your garden you can't make go away. I will have pages of things needing to get done, and as you know from your list, they are things I may never do. For example there is no need to buy those replacement special water proof mattress covers anymore as your child was potty trained three years ago. Scratch that one right off. Or you no longer need to send a wedding gift or card to the Jones' as that was last year and now they are having a baby. Could send it all at once but who are we kidding. Send a baby gift, maybe go ahead and purchase the game boy as it is likely you won't mail it for 4 1/2 to 6 years when you find it in the drawer you are cleaning out. For those of you who know me and are waiting for something, it is either lost, too late, or donated as I couldn't remember what I got it for.
This reflection was the result of an overcrowded schedule just yesterday. Started with a weekly breakfast with a friend, then to a special event with my son, then cleaning, several loads of laundry, cooking, cleaning, falling into a dead sleep with the TV still on.....and nobody better say it's my age.
My one goal was to write every day, my other goal was not to bore any one. But as it stands I have already blown one......So back to the schedule thing, I am going to try a new strategy, schedule TIME for the things that are important and let the rest fall on the list. That will require me to first start a list of what is important. What is not negotiable. What will benefit those who are a priority to me. Those things will be given VP status on my calendar, and the rest will fall on the list. So I guess the question is, have any of you experienced a lack of time? An inability to do everything it is you would like to do or think needs to be done? Then join me on this venture to make a "list", prioritize and reorganize and see if we can get a handle on our TIME! I will let you know how that goes.......when I have time.

Reach Out and Touch Someone

Communication happens in many ways, though the technological age has erased much of the evidence. I remember letters. Paper sheets with writing that arrived in envelopes and sometimes might include a small black and white photo or a nice bookmark to treasure. Someones actual hand took time to hold a pen, write the words with errors intact and paid a small postage to send a warm greeting your way.
And then there was the telephone. Not the cell phone equipped with text, Im, photo and GPS but the 45 pound black desk model with a cord long enough to tie up your sibling should they annoy you. The loud RING RING and the rotary dial. It took work to make that call. You could hear the voice on the other end and you knew you had made contact.
Now we are in the space age with things moving at the speed of speed! Whipping around in the great cyber abyss are zillions of communications all simultaneously traveling to a lucky recipient. The communication happens so fast that in a blink it is over, done, and most often forgotten. No tangible record it ever occurred in most cases as people make room for more communication by hitting delete. Delete! Gone are the pieces of our history, memories of our day, tokens of affection. Gone! And it leaves me wondering often, where does it go, how does it get there, did it get there, is it like a beam from Star Trek?
I have tried to save some of this cyber info and it is impossible to track and salvage the blips of conversation that occur. Instead of one conversation or a two page letter you get forty individual texts in reply to your forty individual text. And we don't even use real words...LOL. While these moments provide instant, momentary gratification, like many bad habits we can develop, it is short lived. In a week or a month we will not remember what day we talked to who about what and why we were interested in whatever it was anyway.
Then there is my garage. With large tubs of cards, letters, and pictures drawn from friends and family past. I can touch them, reread them and remember that moment in time. While downsizing is popular I have yet o be able to just toss things away. I am trying to sort through and keep only those cards with actual letters or notes included, instead of those simply signed Love Someone. But even then I think someone one spent their hard earned money on that card and mailed it, and now it is a keepsake because Garfield is out but he was so in when it was mailed. I could start my own museum of historical and some hysterical communications.
On the bright side, at least people are staying in touch. My nephews for instance, won't write, rarely call and only occasionally will use email. BUT the will text, send me elves who dance and pictures of what ever they are doing. So in it's own way, maybe it has changed who will reach out and touch someone. Certainly those cards and letters were not from the youth of the day but parents, siblings, grandparents, and a few friends.
I guess the important thing is whatever method is for you, call, text, tweet, email or write someone you love. Just Reach out and touch someone! It is a great thing for you to stay in touch, but, for that person receiving your message it is pure Gold!

Smile

You know what it is like. You are surrounded by cameras, camcorders and people mashing your cheeks. "Say Cheese". Toys waggling around, things making squeaky noises, photographer making silly faces. And this was for your name badge at your new job. It never really changes. We are trained like Pavlov's dog as infants that when we see a small black box or see bright lights it is not the coming of Jesus but one of our inspired old people trying to capture a memory.
Back in the 1800 and early 1900's if you had a single photo album to pass on to your children you were doing good. But now you hand down a zipped up wallet holding 600 photo discs. I know! I am already on my third and my son is only 13. Whew. It is crazy, but then maybe that is what we are planning for, when we loose our minds for good.
My dad had that movie camera with the flood lights. Blinded you while you were standing in another room. "Smile" he would chime. I was lucky just to keep my eyes from watering let alone release my tightly grimaced face. And if I did actually open my eyes I was unable to see for the rest of the morning. Opening gifts on Christmas was more like reading Braille. "Oh it feels like a doll. Thanks!" Then I would hear "Smile" and the flash from the Brownie camera would go off.Back to my braille..
There have been a long line of "flashers" that have left countless children sightless. One of my favorites was "the cube". The flat 120 camera with the tower and square cube on top. It would flash and then spin for a continuous photo opportunity. "Smile", flash, "Smile", flash, "Smile" flash........
The worst were the outdoor pictures. Facing directly into the 2 pm sun, waiting several minutes for the film to be advanced, then the command would come. "Smile" and you would try, eyes watering so badly that you looked like you have had some terrible life event like you are grounded for an hour, or some such. And you knew you were not going anywhere until the old people were satisfied so you tried your hardest not to cry and then smile without blinking. There are a lot of tortured looking pictures from the 60's and 70's. Thank God for fill flash and digital cameras. No more are we stuck with bad photos, we click Delete:)
Well a good thing that came from all that abuse was that we were taught to SMILE. Whether you felt like it or not, you knew that you were going to be faced with that picture on the wall for the rest of your life. Smile. And really how hard is it to smile. I liked the analogy in View from the Top. The stewardess learns to smile even when they are out of nuts or bloody mary mix. Just do it, try!I know you can. It is so much easier to do and live with then consequences that come from an angry temperament. It goes along with letting stuff roll off your shoulders, forgiveness, grace, mercy and joy. It's all good. Let it go and "Smile" Flash

Independence

As the youngest I was fortunate to always get my way or so it goes in many family story telling sessions. I got it all, while the elders were without, struggling, hardly a toy to play with, fruit in their stocking and no presents at Christmas. Okay my memory may not be completely correct on some of the facts but I know that somebody only had fruit for Christmas. Anyway, I do know that while I was often given a ride or carried around, I had to learn to make my own way.
When I was young, I was the baby. When I was older I was an only child. That may sound impossible but it was true. My siblings left home when I was still young. So I had the best and worst of both worlds.
When there were others around I could get support, ride on their coat tales or dig through their dresser drawers. And it was always "their" fault, whoever "their" was. Never my fault. He did it, she did it, they made me do it. All I know is I was more then happy to point some fingers and there were some pretty good finger pointing
duels over the years.
When I was older however I no longer had a wagon to hitch my trouble to. I was the only one home so no matter what it was going to be me that took the fall. And while I do not believe in ghosts I often accused some unseen force of committing the crime. "I don't know who did it, I just know it wasn't me." to which I would hear "Well I don't see anyone else around, do you?" It was worth a shot, can't blame a gal for trying.
The one thing that became evident very early in my only child phase was that there was going to be more opportunity for me to decide what to do, where to go, who to hang out with. It was a lot of fun and yet a bit lonely. I had to learn to entertain myself, and explore to see what I liked. In the past it had always been what the group wanted to do or where the parents wanted to take us. Suddenly the old people would throw their eyes on me and say "Well, where do you want to go?" It took quite awhile for me to get used to the responsibility and to think of what it was that I liked.
I had to begin exploring who I was and who I wanted to be. I was not a little sister or a pain in the rear (though I believe that is still open for discussion) but I was an individual being requested to have an independent thought. At that young tender age I had to make life changing decisions such as do we go see "Yellow Submarine" or "Robin Hood" (the Disney cartoon version). Or what building of the Smithsonian do you want to see? That really is an enormous decision because there are like 100 buildings with enough artifacts to entertain a person for 20 lifetimes.
I become an only child and was encouraged to start making decisions about myself. The combination of both childhood experiences has given me great confidence as an adult. I always have the support of my siblings. I have learned to enjoy my independence and make those big decisions because I know I will have those siblings to pick me up if I need it.

Memories

"Are we there yet?" I know for our family trips that question started in the driveway. We had to share the back seat, three of us. I of course the adorable yet baby sister won(?) the center seat, floor hump and all. The elders had either door seat with a view. The old people drove and were essentially oblivious to the suffering of the baby sister :) Where's my door? Why can't I sit by the window? How am I going see? Pay attention to Me, Me, Me!
Then the parents would start the car. From the time the car started down the highway we were diverted and the adventures began. We were Air Force brats so traveling was part of the family job description. They give you a paper that says "Serve your country and move often." Not really, but it was like being in the witness protection program. Where will we live tomorrow, who will we talk to, do they have a Dinosaur there?
The really great part was the memories we made in the process. We saw everything. We were always off to a historical monument, museum, beach, air base or park. We enjoyed every environment at some point during our youth including mountains, plains, oceans, islands, small towns and major cities. We SAW the country where as today most people can not even tell you about it like where Baltimore is or whether it is a state or amusement park. The best part was, we did it together.
As my family has aged they enjoy recalling all of these memories. It is as enjoyable today as the day it happened. We have fun retelling the events, and for a brief moment everyone looks a bit younger.
That is the element of my life I try hardest to bring into MY families life today. Even my house is like a little "tour of the country". Each room has a different theme; farming in one room, palm trees and golf in another, antiques in another, western theme in another and even my laundry room is decorated. It is my little museum of art. It is beautiful and I don't mind being in there doing the chores.
We don't isolate to our cave and clan but engage in the human race. We leave the house and try to venture to different places, do new things and avoid the rut. We spend time with family and friends. We go, we see, we do! Then we can sit in our home, look at our pictures and have some good laughs. Memories!

What If?

Well it is a new day and a new year. What will I do this wonderful year? I can remember when I used to dream I would skydive or go river rafting without a vest:) Well a funny thing I have noticed is that as I age I suddenly have greater reservations about the things I will do. I think about family and my mortality more, and ask "What if?" alot. What if something happens? What if I get hurt? What if I don't like it? What if I change my mind?
When I look at people who do great things I think they may ask the same question but perhaps put the emphasis on a different syllable. Instead of "what if" we die or get lost or have to eat at a greasy diner in the Himalayas, they think "what if" we meet a villager who shares their only banana or "what if" we sail all the way around the world without sinking or "what if" we land on the moon? It literally changes from Oh Dear to Oh Boy!
I used to think that way all the time, never a negative concern or worry, which could explain my many broken bones and the constant redirection from countless old people. While I am not trapped in caution, I do have to fight it more. I don't want to worry about the "what ifs" for things going wrong but the "what if" I don'ts thinking about the things I might miss.
I am grateful I did not grow up afraid to venture. I would have missed venturing into unexplored Virginia woods and discovering Hannah and Silas Burke's' headstones. A great find for the town of Burke and their relatives and a whole Tom Sawyer kind of adventure for 4 bored girls.
I would have missed painting murals in Tulsa at a children's school or at a Vermillion college dorm despite my lack of any exceptional art skills. They came out all right too. Took second place in the contest. Go Team!
I would have missed getting thrown from a horse, working as a volunteer on a rural ambulance and camping in the Red River Gorge. And I would have missed traveling into Mexico to a remote community to stay at an orphanage and do repairs to their homestead or traveling around the world to India to teach college students and meet people in jungle villages. I would have missed seeing great things happen miraculously, the kind I had only read about in the Bible. I would have missed it all.
I remember where I was when the Apollo landed on the moon. Watching on our 21 inch black and white television we watched intently and captured the image when they touched down. I remember thinking "Wow, what if they hadn't gone?" But they did and they made it and they walked on the moon! I want to do that, don't you?
So as I start out my new year I am going to capture every thought and look at the possibilities instead of the risk. I am going to dream of the future and not focus on the past. I am going to land on the moon, well, not really but you get the drift. It is a chance to take steps and have a grand adventure. I am ready!

Jer 29:11: For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

A Birthday Carol

I love birthdays. A great time for reflection of days gone by, a review of the joys of today and the anticipation of hopes realized. Kind of like a Christmas Carol only with cake and candles instead of ghosts and chains....hmmmm. I have had a rich and adventurous life. My childhood was always an adventure waiting to happen. The daughter of an Air Force man we were able to travel, and live in a variety of states. I was at Disneyland in 1966, when it was only a few years old and full of every girls dream characters like Cinderella, Snow White and Sleeping Beauty. A day and age when the "Flight to the Moon" ride seemed like a real adventure, even though it just jiggled and made noise like when the washer is off balance. I was in South Dakota, living at the Star Motel and visiting the local Dinosaur Hill attraction. I don't need to describe it, just imagine two, 2-story Dino the dinosaur's on a hill. And yes, that was all there was to see:)
I was in Washington D.C.and Virginia in the late 60's and early 70's during the Vietnam war and the resignation of Nixon. We visited every historical park and museum in a 3 state area including a "must see" trip to Hershey Chocolate factory in PA. I returned to South Dakota to celebrate the landing of the satellite that fell from space and to see the attempted assassination of Reagan. I finally reached an age of independence where I was able to freely roam and make my own decisions, many we don't discuss to this day, but mostly good ones:) I have lived in Arizona for the past 24 years. I actually moved here for my 25th birthday because "I was cold". Sounds like a logical reason to make a life altering decision. I have been here for every major news event and watched most of them nonstop on TV such as the wedding of Princess Diana, the death of the Princess, the coming of age of Tiger Woods golf game, the anniversary of Barbie and the end of Montgomery Wards. I have passed all my landmark birthdays without landing in jail, or having my cake set the house on fire. I have shared those happy memories with dear family and or friends. What I notice most often is the presence or absence of those you have come to know. Sometimes it is geography that changes the landscape of a party, you have moved or people have moved, or even passed away. Sometimes it is relationship that alters who is there, they do or don't have you in their speed dial any longer. And sometimes it is due to situations that change. Family changes, friends change, schedules change, vision changes, life changes. It is at my birthday that I remember those that have passed through my life and in being a part have made it richer. They have made a contribution, whether it was pleasant or not to experience, and it has made me who I am today. I never hold a grudge, I never remain angry, I do not remember offences (that was true even before I got so old). These things just make you self absorbed, bitter and unable to really enjoy life to it's fullest. I do always forgive, always forget and always have a hug waiting. It makes everyday a great adventure and each year fun to celebrate when you don't carry so much luggage. So I want to say Thank You for being a part of my "Birthday Carol".

2 Timothy 1:3
... I thank God for you—the God I serve with a clear conscience, just as my ancestors did. Night and day I constantly remember you in my prayers. (NLT)

Numbers 6:24-26
The Lord bless you and keep you;
The Lord make His face shine upon you,
And be gracious to you;
The Lord lift up His countenance upon you,
And give you peace. (NKJV)

My Sisters Keeper

Being the youngest has it's advantages. For instance, there is no real purpose in learning to talk, or walk, or make any major decisions. The "elders" will do that for you. Whether it is out of desire to pamper or teach you, or just simple frustration from waiting for you to "do" something is another thing all together. But lets say for now, it is because they want to teach or pamper you. How much fun is it to have a younger sister.
If you are an older sister it is a great chance to play mom, practice nurturing and score points helping the mom. The mom always needs help, even if they don't work. There is going to be an event mom needs help preparing for, or cooking for or setting up the card tables for. Or there may be a babysitting opportunity which permits practice with "parenting" like establishing a bedtime or taking away dessert. And if you are an older brother it is to teach you self defense when being attacked by a wild tickle monster, the kind that won't quit until you are blue, you wet your pants or a parent says stop. Or it might be to teach you to share, say, the last soda which if poured by the brother will always yield him a larger portion once the foam goes down. Hmmmm
Not that my siblings did all these things, though there are many tales that will come up in the future writings I am sure. But the one thing I know is that my siblings cared for me. They protected me and made sure that I did not do dangerous things like stick my tongue on a cold metal pole in the winter, or run away without properly packing my bags. They taught me to laugh, a lot! Often at nothing but a simple noise, like a hotel toilet that kept flushing all night long in the room overhead....splurge. Or a funny card on a birthday. Humor and laughter have kept us entertained for hours and given memories for retelling years down the road.
What I see now is a generation that is often self absorbed, missing the humor in the comic strips, or the fun that can be had playing cards until 2 a.m. with a table full of family or friends. They are techies, fixated on electronics; cell phones, gameboys, Facebook, computers......well, okay, you are on the computer now so that may include you! But the point is there is more out there than staring at a box. Perhaps it is that this cyber generation is finding relationships hard because they have fewer of them from the get go.
They are placed in front of the mighty TV, then transitioned to the Xbox without a single human interaction. Thank God for the Wii. At least most of those games require movement or we would all become true couch potatoes.
My advice is whether you have an interactive family or a group of friends who are able to complete a declarative sentence, plan a non-electronic event which will require conversation, touch and perhaps some good old fashioned laughter. Find some joy in the day, create a memory, have fun and laugh! Thanks siblings for making my life so rich and teaching me to laugh:)

Learning to Read

I enjoy reading. My parents read to me often and there were always plenty of books, magazines, newspapers and candy wrappers for me to read. Okay, the wrappers were mine, but the point is I love to read. I learned to read by looking at pictures first. You remember, See Jane Run, and there she was in the picture, running. Piece of cake. Then there were more complex readings such as Peanuts, Nancy Drew, Garfield and other highly intellectual volumes. It opened the world up to anyone who turned the page. Of course, recognizing reality versus fiction can be a challenge for many.
Some people I know well read Star or the Enquirer and take it as gospel, even if they know in their mind that people can not grow fins. There was a picture:) That is probably the result of those Dick and Jane books, kind of like Pavlovs dog.
Reading encouraged me to be creative, dream, challenge and question. So starting at an early age I questioned things like, why my snack is artificially flavored instead of real or why the risks to take the medications for my medical condition are significantly more terrible then the risk of the condition.
And now the world is available with a simple click of the mouse. I can look up anything, anywhere, anytime. Cool. Of course I heard a joke once that was relavent when playing around with my cyber library. It talked about the link for the 1st search hit and the last. Completely different, completely unrelated and yet all 1,987,000 came up with the word search "gonorrhea". Just try it. Enter a search for say "vaccines". 12,000,000 hits. Who has time to review all 12 million to evaluate whether or not to give their kid a vaccine or to take the flu shot or if they even come from a reliable source. And by the time you get to the last hit it will likely have nothing to do with vaccines or immunizations or world peace at all. The world knowledge bank is dangerous to say the least.
I continued my reading quest throughout my school years, searching for things that interested me. It always came back to adventures in far away places, reading and medicine. I love medicine. It may be related to my frequent visits to doctors, hospitals, emergency rooms, etc, etc from an early age of 2. I decided early on that my job in life would be to take care of everyone else. But first I had to take the next 12 years to get a grasp on a few concepts like English, writing, math, science, band and volleyball. Yes they were all equally important. These would take me years to master, or quit and truthfully I am still not quite proficient at English. Thank God for spell check and tools to upgrade your work to at least a sixth grade level (I don't think that tool is available here). But the beauty is that no matter what or how I learned in the early years I am still learning now. I still read Garfield and I still love adventure and the truth is I still love taking care of everyone else. I am still learning about the me that is yet to be. Think I will sit back and read a good book.

Boundaries

Boundaries are a set of limitations or expectations placed on an individual. They have their first influence during infancy when adorable happy children are placed in small confined spaces. They continue on through life and come in many forms such as rules, regulations, social rankings, professional practice and more. As a child you can be very content with boundaries, and in fact your behavior implies that you felt safe when you knew that there was a perimeter of safety, aka walls, bars, cribs or play pens. So why is it as we grow up that we often come to view boundaries as a threat fighting them off like a mid evil dragon?
I have often fought my way out of confinement. I rattled those crib rails until the mounting came loose which confirmed there is more than one way to get free. I constantly traveled to places I wanted to go and I did it my way. Wasn't that a song? I hear stories about lacing my own shoes at a very young age. I refused help or direction. I did not want to tie my shoes singing that bunny song but wanted to tie them in loops and knots of my own design. Of course this would eventually require help from an old person as my way was not always the effective way to secure shoes before taking up walking.
I think about rules; don't walk barefoot on hot pavement, no smoking in airplane bathrooms, or no pets in the restaurant (which I think should seriously be reconsidered after seeing what a table full of children can do to the floor). Most rules are there to keep us safe even if they may at times be inconvenient. In most cases as I have aged I have come to accept rules and have developed a respect for their intent. I must confess that i will even use them to eliminate an annoying presence in the room. Sorry neighbors with barking dogs.
Regulations or laws on the other hand are tied to a number of factors such as personal gain, moral influence, popularity, lobbying, etc. Think about regulations in the news today. We regulate who can purchase a hand gun for instance which is great, but then we permit those folks to carry them in to a bar, with alcohol. Am I the only one who can see a possible situation here? In these cases I can see that boundaries are not as clear cut, maybe don't make sense and we may no longer feel safe. As a matter of fact it may actually cause us to question our own beliefs about boundaries.
Social rankings or cast systems are alive and well. We even have organizations that will try to stretch the boundaries to give preferential treatment to one group over another, or to promote changes to a regulation or law which blurs the boundary for a particular group. We can no longer be certain what is or is considered to be right, acceptable, safe. At times it seems that the mid evil dragon is back in the room.
And then there is the whole work thing. Where every position has role expectations, goals, evaluation criteria, career ladders, reporting structures and more. And don't be the one to cross a line or boundary in your role, rank, or influence. That is when we find the full effect of boundaries as grown ups. You have probably heard someone say they would like to do something but there hands are tied. There are limitations or expectations that prevent them from doing something. There are boundaries they can not pass.
On the bright side, we also can set our own boundaries. What we will or won't allow in our home, what we will or won't do on a date, and what we will or won't watch on our television screen. Boundaries. They can be that line in the sand for us, or that wall that is impassable or that cage we can not get out of.
It seems that boundaries are with us throughout life, though their effectiveness or purpose may vary. For me I am glad I escaped from the crib, safely navigating into adulthood. And I have to confess that I have not always stayed within the boundaries and have had to deal with the consequences of those deviations. Truthfully I have often thought about that crib. When the boundaries have been blurred or crossed or challenged I have longed for the security of those four crib walls with my mom sitting close by and the television playing in the background. I am glad I started with good, well defined boundaries. Good job parents:)